Interviews

A Conversation with Self Esteem Doctor, Simone Alicia – “…trust that they can turn to Mom for more important (non-academic) matters in the future”

A Conversation with Self Esteem Doctor Simone Alicia
Written by Xavier Murphy

Dr. Simone Alicia is a certified N.L.P. (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) Practitioner and Motivational Coach known as The Self Esteem Doctor. She was born in Jamaica and is based in Miami, Florida.  Dr. Alicia is a trusted source of empowerment for countless individuals, schools, small businesses, Non-Profit organizations and other groups. In addition to performing as a guest or keynote Speaker and corporate consultant, Dr. Simone Alicia offers one on one or group coaching sessions to men, women, teens, and children nationwide.

Q: Tells us about your Jamaican connection?
I was born in Vineyard Town at St. Joseph Hospital in Kingston, Jamaica to two native Jamaican parents.

Q: The one word you would use to describe ole time Jamaican parenting?
“Proppa”

Q: One thing mothers can daily to help build a child’s self-esteem?
Have conversations about more than just chores and school.  Try out topics based on their personality/interests like, politics, feminism, best vacation spots, a recent party, new movies, music, tending outfits and dances… Feel free to guide them if needed, but don’t dismiss their point of view, just invite them to connect and listen with an open mind.  This helps children and teens to value other things about themselves and trust that they can turn to mom for more important (non-academic) matters in the future.

Q: One thing fathers can daily to help build a child’s self-esteem?
Give compliments about their children’s abilities, not just a natural skill the child may seem to have. For example, “you’re brilliant” is a nice thing to say and I encourage it, but you MUST also reinforce ability like, “You never give up, You’re great at focusing, I love how you take your time to think things through!” This takes away the pressure from having to “be” naturally awesome all the time and instead empowers kids to know that they can trust these actions to “do” their personal best all the time.

Q: Has social media made self-esteem issues better or worse
Much worse!  Not only through its excessive focus on image, social status and mature content, but more so on the fact that our young people are accessing this powerful tool, way to early and without proper training. And yet another layer of trouble is added when we look at the addictive nature of the “follows” and “likes” that open up our kids and teens up to desperate behaviors and various forms of bullying.  In the end, I think social media can be a great tool, it all depends on how you use it.

Q: When you talk to teens today what is the general themes you hear around their confidence levels?
Generally, I hear that teens know what confidence is, but they feel lost when it comes to attaining it.  They learn fast that they can “fake it till they make it” and that’s when we see inappropriate habits or behaviors of teens attempting to prove their confidence.  However, while they think they’ve mastered the pretence, they haven’t figured out or learned how to actually feel and become more confident. Worst of all those who do think they’ve figured it out are often convinced that the journey to confidence is all about superficial qualities like looks, social status and “coolness” soon enough, I hope we can teach all teens that confidence lies in their own perspective. It’s how they think and feel about themselves that creates the true confidence that never fades.

Q: Your Jamaican comfort food is…
How can I pick just one? Ok, Oxtail gravy (yes, just the gravy) with white rice.

Thank you and don’t just have a great day, CREATE a great day!

About the author

Xavier Murphy