General

Supermarket Woe – Country Gal

Lawks, chile, ah tell yuh someting, it look like me an supermarket no gree, for everytime me set foot eena one, is pure calamity. Me say, di odda day ah feel fi a lickle ol time recipe mi modda use to cook so me tek fas go eena supermarket fi see if me can get anyting fi help mek up di cookings. So ah went to di meat section an see all kinda tings, but cyaan find wha me a look fah.

Ah search an search so til, ah decide fi give up for dem yah foreign people no know good food, ma. But, chile, one mind say look one more time and lo an behold dere was someting dat look like it. Me pick it up. Di label say “Beef feet”. Beef Feet? But see yah, no di same cow foot. Dem yah foreigner know how fi mek tings sound decent, sah.

For memba when mama use to roast cow foot pon Saturday night an it smell up di place so til yuh swear yuh no want none when it cook. An dat ting yuh bwile it go an yuh bwile it come from mornin til night. But yuh see when mama done wid it, yuh lick yuh finga an ask fi more. Anyway, chile, ah pick up di “Beef Feet” an start fi hide it unda more important meat when ah hear a voice seh, “Ambrosine Smith”.

Ah stop brap, mi hand halfway into di cart. Ah look up and dere was mi old time school-friend Pauline on di arms of a young man. Chile, she look so boassy, an me tell yuh, she was one a di show-off gal dem from mi district. But me an she was di bestest of friend, for she was di kindest ting pon creation. One pieca huggup we figet di young man.

“Lawks, Pauline, yuh look like Foreign gree wid yuh,” me say (me nevah memba fi twang me so glad fi see har).
“Please to meet mi young man, Roy,” she say an a grin like any Cheshire puss.
Me not only figet mi twang but me figet di cowfoot eena mi hand. An one ting wid Pauline, she nuh mek nuttin pass har, yuh know. She bawl out:
“A cow foot yuh got deh, Ambrosine?”
Me turn mi head for everybody start fi look. Me answer back:
“Beef Feet it say.”
“Chut, which Beef Feet? No cow foot dat, Roy?”
Hear di one Roy:
“Uhum, a cow foot yes.”
Lawks, chile, country people come a Foreign can abase yuh, eeh? Anyway, is mi goodly friend an ah tell yuh, when we get eena dat “Beef Feet” yuh see, ma, no cow foot no taste so good. For ah bring out di pressure cooker an two-twos di bone dem almost melt way.
Chile, Foreign can sweet sometimes, yuh know, especially wid good friend an ol-time cookings. It can sweet, man.

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Vjange Hazle