Cheerio Hevryone! Ow iz uno hall copin wid de Holiday rush? Lorks, me hiz hall chrimassed out because me a go a Hengland soon fi see likkle Precious mi granbebe. Me tink sey me a go need fi get wan separate Jet Liner fi bring de sinthing dem to Hingrid an ar fambly…….Hoops! mi sey fambly…Yes mi dears, Ms. Hingrid she haf wan new bwoyfren name Hans from Sveden…Drama, drama an more drama, but dat is far anedder time.
Just suffice to sey, dis Chrismus dere iz gweyin to be Likkle Precious , Hingrid, Me, Missa Fowla, Yehuda (Hingrid Ex) and Sven. Dis array a charactas shoul mek very hintresting times. Me will kep huno posted.
In de meantime mek me read uno wan letta from a oman who iz hall discombobulated ‘cause dem sey ar granpickney possess hup wid demons.
Dear Ms. Dulcimer:
I am writing you from Salem, Massachussets about my grandson Oliver. When Oliver was born, he was the sweetest, most gentlest baby. As he grew older I noticed some very odd habits and moods he had developed. When he was one year old, he began talking to the air for no apparent reason. At first, we thought it was cute and enchanting, however things started getting quite out of hand as he got older.
He started having tantrums if places were not set for his imaginary friends at the table. By the time Oliver was five he had 10 imaginary friends that ate with him, talked to him and even slept with him.
We had to combine two rooms in order to accommodate Oliver and his friends. On occasion, they would give him advice on what to wear, eat, or activities to partake in. He had names for everyone of these imaginary friends. They had to be acknowledged by the rest of the family or else he would not speak to any of us. Ms. Dulcimer, it was hard to keep up with their profiles, etc.
We all carried notebooks around just to stay in sync with Master Oliver and his activities. Sometimes we had to take two cars in order to get Oliver to places, because he simply would not go without his make-believe friends.
We hoped and prayed that as time passed by, he would outgrow his strange behavior. This did not happen. Instead, he started spending huge amounts of time in the attic having conversations with what he called “family ghosts”. Strange things began happening in the house, such as items being missing, doors opening and closing mysteriously. Whenever Oliver got really angry, a cold, tempestuous wind would circulate through the house breaking the windows, chandeliers and glassware. Ms. Dulcie, I can’t begin to tell you how much money we have spent on China and windows.
Personally, I attributed Oliver’s eccentric behavior to the fact that my daughter Sarina took drugs during her pregnancy, so it was easy to assume that her indiscretion may have affected Oliver on a spiritual level.
It wasn’t until one day, a mystic from the town showed up on our door step ranting and raving that Oliver was possessed, and could have been her son reincarnated. Oddly enough, the woman brought tarot cards, rune stones and ouija boards to prove her point. Oliver took a shine to her like a duck to water.
Since that fate-filled day, Oliver has morphed into quite an unusual 11 year old and now we have special interest groups camped outside our door exclaiming he is a devil. Each and every day he is escorted to school and extracurricular activities by the Priest of our church.
Most recently, while Oliver was taking swimming lessons, they tried to conduct an excorcism on him, which nearly caused him to drown.
Ms. Dulcie, things have gotten way out of hand. I believe there are children that are just different. Some may say they are special. I have always known that Oliver is different……I may think he is special because he is my grandson, but I do not think he is a demon.
Recently, Oliver has exhibited extraordinary powers. He fell off his bike and scraped his knee. The leg was quite bruised and bleeding. Then, Oliver placed his index finger on the wound, and it disappeared. He called out to me,”Look Nana! Look what I did.”
It was a miracle, the bruise was gone. Last night his mother spoke harshly to him and all the books off his shelf started dancing around his room and nearly thwapped her on the head.
Do you think these happenings are coincidences Ms. Dulcie? Or do you believe Oliver is possessed like everyone else….?
Dear Bewitched Nana,
Me tink sey Missa Oliva may be one of dose special children. People doughn’t undastand too much ‘cause dem dance to de beat a dem hown drum. Dere are sum pickney dat hoperate pon a unusualy high frequence. Me tink Oliva may haff wey dem cyall telekinetic henergy. It’s very rare but sum peple cyan move roung hobjeck an mek tings bruk an disappear when dem get mad.
But uno is a fine set a peple fi haccomadate Missa Olive inna im quirkiness. Uno mine Oliva no haff hall a uno inna de almshouse before long…….
So tell me sinthing, if Missa Oliva an im crew no like wey uno cook, uno mek 11 different meals? Uno need fi cyall Master Oliva, King Oliva….’Cause im a rule uno roost.
Seriously dough, dere iz no logical hexplanation far dese peple an children…..But dey do hexist. No, I doughn’t tink you grandchile is a debil. Im juss need to get to de right peple who cyan undastand im an elp im channel im henergies correckly. He needs to learn fi harness im powas inna de right way.
Hor else Oliva a go tek uno unda siege wan day, usin hall im powas fi lock de door an window dem. If uno no learn fi deal wid im good. It gwey be a Bam! Bam!
Uno haffi learn fi sweet talk Missa Oliva good…….No need fi get im riled hup!
Oliva is connected to de Universe, God and all tings sacred. Im juss need a likkle direccion, ‘cause hiff im no get no direccion uno hall gwey haffi run leff Salem. Oliva is getting to de hage wey im knoe sey im iz different. It woughn be long before im figa hout ow fi manipulate everyting to im hown hadvantage.
De hexorcism iz a bit ova de top, but since uno iz inna Salem me undastand. Dowsin im wid a likkle holy wata, now an again iz not a bad idea. Stayin close to de priest will certainly kep im houta trouble. Individuals like Oliva cyan be portals to both good an hevil. If me waz like uno, me would a dress im inna pure bright colars, fi kep wey de duppy dem an odder hevil hinfluences. ‘Cause as Missa Oliva get olda dem a go seek im out. Me gwey pray far Oliva. Me wish uno hall de bess. Pray, Pray and Pray ‘cause iz not hevrybadie gweyin greet im wid a hug an a smile……..
Tek cyare of uno self good.
Ms. Dulcimer Peaches Robothom.