Greetins mi lovely fans….Ow iz uno doing dese fine days? Uno gettin ready far Jamaica’s 50th Hindependence Celebrecion? A ow…!
Ms. Dulcie a get wan pretty frock mek from Ms. Alewecious dung ina Spanish Town….Me a go mogel pon de Ms. Dulcie float. Uno look hout far me in inna me black, green, gole and white maxi dress wid mi broad rim hat and Dolcie dork glasses. Heh…Heh! Uno cyan miss Dulcemina at all dat de day…….!
Me we keep uno posted bout hall a de fanfare an special hevents as we draw closa to de time…Uno muss cum a Jamaica an visit, It nice man. Plenty a good tima a await uno….
Hanyhoo, Me haff labrish fi tell uno bout me Granbebe an Hingrid. A knoe Hingrid no like me chat ar but me cyan elp miself, me iz a mumma hout a control. Me so custed bex me cyan read uno no letta ’cause hall a me rantin an ravin a go tek hup uno time. Here mi now:
Hingrid go henroll likkle precious inna Kindergaarten, wan piece a hexpensive place wey dem haff dem likkle lunch cook hup by Chef from de Sorbonne an dem a listen to Mozart an Verdi. Yu eva ere mi dyin trial? Hevry day fi mi gran pickney a go a big time concert just fi de likkle ones wid big ole Rock Star dem. Me sey, de place posh cyan dun. Likkle Precious she dress hup inna fi ar Sunday best hevry day, de wey dem so stocious.
Here is wey de drama a cum in. Me tell huno sey mi nevva like de nayame wey Hingrid and de custed Raggamuffin Yehuda de give de bebe from birt. So me been callin ar Likkle Precious, so, when she go a school she tell she teacha sey are real nayame is Likkle Precious. De teacha sey, “Little is your first name?” She ansa ar yes, and den she sey “Precious is your last name?”….She ansa ar yes. De teacha sey, “That’s not what your mother told us…..”
Likkle Precious ansa ar, “That’s what Grampy Dulcie Says, and what ever she says goes…..”
So dem haff she inna school as Likkle Precious, Ms. Hingrid almos haff wan kinipcion…Iz strange ow chilren cyan decipher tings heven wen dem likkle bit do eh?
Well, Likkle Precious has chosen fi ar nayame, tanks to Grampy and she not backin dung, not heven far ar modda. De tory tart wen me go fi pic hup Precious from school, me ere dem a teach ar bout color an etnicity an a tell ar sey she is dis an dat……
Me heven ere wan a de teacha dem sey to ar, “You don’t have any color, your hair is so red…Where is your color and roots?”
Me nerely drop dung wen mi ere de convasation. Mi culdn’t believe dem a chat to wan likkle 2.5 year old like dat. Me juss kinely waltz inna de door an tell dem sey she no need fi haff any color roots, ’cause she a fi mi gran pickney, an me haff henough far de both a we. Yu eva see any rudeness like dat inna yu life?
Thrugh Hingrid red lika what…an dem no see me hall de time an de likle wan iz very fair wid de same red, firy hair like ar muma, dem tink sey dem cyan brainwash she inna submission.
Wen yu ere from de shout, dem a teach me gran pickney fi knoe ar place inna life, she must stan bac a line an wait, she musn’t be too pushy an bossy an kep are thought to ar self. Dem all ge Precious ole, use up, broken dung toys fi play wid. A get mad yu see. Me juss write me fren Missa Schwartz a sen im a cople shillin fi ship a few toys far de hole kindagaarten class. Me nuh want fi me gran pickney fi cum dung wid no wax an kernel from roonkus poonkus sinting. What a liberty tekin peple dem iz……
Me juss show dem dat, aldough we thud wul, we nah beg dem nuttin…Now dem knoe what de deal iz!
Well, Ms. Dulcie was boilin like kekkle houta control. De nex day mi tek Precious go to school, me pul hup inna me Rolls Royce….Hevry bodie tap inna dem tracks. Me hask Missa Winston fi cyarry Likkle Precious go a class an me saunta mi way inna de Headmistress hoffice……Bwoy, me really give she ar carbon copy an recept.
Me tell ar sey, dat my usband in spirit waz a very refine Henglish man and doughn’t mek Hingrid Bohemian lifestyle canfuse dem. She no nuh quarshie from dung a Rema and dat my lineage go hall de way back to Harawak Royalty, so no full hup me granbebe head wid nuh racial foolishness.
Oh, same time she begin to flutter an gesticulate…”Just you wait a moment Ms. Dulcimer, Your granchild is a minority, and they need to know how to get on in the world today, quite frankly the child displays no signs of ethnic origin, and it is our place to educate them on their heritage!”
Me sey to ar….”Did yu haff a likkle mad kitty drink today? ‘Cause dis iz fi mi Granbebe, and has far a de Jamaican laws an hupringin, we tink we iz de majority…Our motta iz, “Out of many one people”. Me nuh put no limitation pon mi chilren dem. Has far has me is cancern dem iz halways de majority wey dem go inna de wul…..So nuh put no complex pon de likkle wan!”
Me sey, de Headmistress Ms. Prunella Bingsley tun hall kina shades of purple, den she start talk bout iz goin to be hard for her to matriculate inna dem henvironment….Me juss sey to ar…”A bet a likkle donation we mek uno see tings diffrantly”…..Me jus tell Missa Winston fi gi ar wan sumting far dem Spring farmal….Suddenly, hevryting waz right wid de wul again. She knoe sey dem fi clear hoff from mi granchile wid dem brainwashing.
Yu knoe, no matta where yu go nowadays, racism iz hallways a problem. Hif yu haff two shillin dem will look de odder wey, but what bout de peple who nuh haff nuttin, dem tun dem pickneys hinto pefeck hediots.
Well hexcuse de pun…But dem hiz outta dem cotton pickin mines….A we dem a look fi color far? No wan persan iz any one ting. We iz hall mix hup, mix hup, so ow dare dem tek on de task fi heducate fi mi granchile bout she heritage. Dat iz far me, Hingrid and aldough me hate fi hadmit it……Dat iz halso Macca Bracca Yehuda’s job.
Dis iz wan time me an him will hagree pon tings, ’cause wan ting bout im iz dat im is very suave an Hinternational, im no stan far no limitations wen hit cum to race. From Precious likkle im halways a tell ar “Keep yu mine open bout all tings, places an peple.”
Wen Missa Yehuda him fine out, dat de hoity-toity hestablishment a go tun into wan shanty town. Me ope dem henjoy de cumin dayz ’cause me wuldn’t want to be a fly pon dat de wall.
So, hafta me traighten dem hout Likkle Precious iz havin a ball going to the Ballet, The Royal Gardens and Harrods, everyday iz a good day in her likkle wul. Hengland really gree wid she an Hingrid. Aldough me tell de Hingrid fi tap livin like she belong to de circus. Dat de girle chile waz halways inna wan wul to she self…Me nah complain dough, ’cause me glad sey she pick hup de ballet slippas again…eh?
Write tu Ms. Dulcie…Cum mek we comisrate togader eh?
Stay good…Till nex time.
Dulcimer Peaches Robothom, Westmoreland, Oracabessa, and now in Glouchester!