Ms. Dulcie: "Dem A Look Wan Scapegoat!"

Greetins in de nyame hoff de halmighty….Ow iz hall a me precious fans dem doing?
Lorks times iz haard far hevrywan an de hinflaccion iz juss risin like a blinkin kite. Me sey me go a de store fi buy sum carbolic soap, pickapeppa an meatkine, a hundreds a Jamaican dollars me spen. A wey dem tink sey me iz?
Dem mussey tink me is de Bank a Nova Scotia. 
Bwoy! De recession is really bustin we shut…..But praise God! I feel sey God gwey mek a good change cum far hall hoff we real soon. So uno hole an tight till den.
Well, me tell yu dough, de hinflaccion bring plenty letta far Ms. Dulcie. Me haff so much a dem fi read, from now till thy Kingdom cum. But dere is wan letta we ketch me yeye, cause hit cum hall de way from Europe. Me feel fi de hole sitiation do eh?
Dear Ms. Dulcie:
My daughter and her friend went abroad to study in Holland for approximately two years. They were such good friends that they decided to become room mates, which made their living expenses a lot more manageable.
Each girl had a different personality, however they seemed to get on rather well. Our daughter is studious and reserved, while her friend Tomassina was more of a live wire and enjoyed partying and drinking. Like most parents, there were aspects to our daughter’s personality that we were not privy of.
After they were there for about a year, they both acquired boyfriends and seemed to have become well adjusted to Dutch life. One night the foursome went out on the town and got a bit drunk. They decided to stay over at my daughter’s boyfriend’s house.
I don’t know what transpired, however, in the wee hours of the next morning I received a call from Rommie (my daughter), that Tomassina was missing and so was her boyfriend. There was blood everywhere but no bodies . The Police had called her in for questioning and she was besides her self with grief and disbelief.
At first, we thought it was routine, until they began accusing our daughter of having posession of drugs, clandestine liaisons and insinuating that she knew more about the couple’s disappearance than she was letting on.
I have had several inquisitions with Rommie and she has stuck to her story without any inconsistencies. Therefore, I believe she is innocent.
Ms. Dulcie, things happened fairly quickly. In a matter of days Rommie was formally charged for the mysterious disappearance of Tomassina and her boyfriend. Then, to add insult to injury, Rommie’s boyfriend disappeared within a few days of her being charged and no one has been able to determine his whereabouts.
My husband and I did some research and we found out Rommie’s boyfriend was a hardcore drug dealer and user, therefore, we have reason to believe he is the one who masterminded this mystery. After speaking with my daughter she told us that Tomassino had asked her parents for several thousand dollars a few days before her mysterious disappearance. So we have reason to believe that she may have faked this entire drama. We believe she had help from Rommie’s boyfriend and her’s as well.
It has been several months since they have held on to Rommie for the mysterious disappearances, and there has been no hard evidence that links her to murder or foul play. They have suggested that there may have been an alternative lifestyle going on between the four friends, however nothing to indicate homicide. Yet, I do not understand why they are holding our daughter.
My husband and I have travelled the globe talking to people who say they have seen Tomassina and a guy roaming around in various cities, and although we have told her parents and the authorities our findings, they refuse to listen. It is our belief they are unjustly accusing Rommie. They haven’t any dead bodies or murder weapons, all they have are bloody pictures and empty spaces.
Our daughter’s life has been ruined by these allegations and if divine interventon does not happen, I am afraid we will lose her forever.
Although we understand her parents’ grief, we know in our hearts that what they are doing is wrong and we would like for justice to be served. Please help us Ms. Dulcimer, we will be so grateful.



ExchangeStudent Moma

Dear Ms. ExchangeStudent Moma:
Yu knoe wen I get uno letta dem, I pray ova dem. It seems to me dat dem iz tryin fi mek wan scapegoat hout a fi yu daughta. Mi no knoe why, meybe’cause she cute like wan button.
Me haff wan daughta to, so me knoe wey yu gweyin thrugh. You knoe, me hallways tell Hingrid no bodder wid no slepin hout at any strange boy’s yaard ’cause yu nevva knoe wey kina roonkus-poonkus dem hinto. Me sarry far yu an yu usban. Hall de sem, me a go show Ms. Hingrid she dis ya harticle ’cause she tink sey me iz wan Nervous Nellie hall de time wid she.
Our Jamaican chilren tink sey dem parents mek hup tories fi ward dem hoff…But dem no knoe sey de truth iz more frightnin dan fiction.
Hanyhow, dem iz just tekin hadvantage ’cause uno iz fareign an dem holdin hall de cards dem.
Me no undastand ow four friends heng hout togathar, go to sleep, an den, two hoff dem tun hup missin. You knoe wey Hinspecta Dulcie tink…..?
I was talkin to Missa Fowla an we both tink sey, dem drug yu daughta. maybe eem juck ar or put sinting in ar drink. Dem hall did haff evryting plan maybe dem kill wan hanimal inna de bed fi mek it look like iz wan body dem kill. Den, dem get rid a de caucuses sumwhere…Dem could heven chop hup sum poor homeless person….who knows?
De DNA may tell de story, but wid such a cover hup, dem nah mek uno knoe hif iz hanimal har human blood dem did fine. Dere iz no bodies and no murder weapon….So dem iz clutchin at straws. Me nevva watch Columbo far nuttin.
Mrs. ESM dem a pull wan fas wan pon yu an yu fambly. Fight, Fight, Fight, and dough give hup uno rights ’cause justice must come. If me waz uno, me would a trail back hall de steps dem a de scene an chat to hevrybadie wey invalve hup, ’cause a bet uno wan ting….Dem tamper wid de hevidence……
I hate to tell yu dis, but yu chile may not haff been de most pristine, but de odder girl aint no saint eider. She was craftin are fambly out dem money, an dem is probably so shock bout antics dem juss a go wid de flow a de Police dem.
Ms. Dulcie haff wan six sense bout dese tings……
Doughn’t worry me iz prayin far uno. Tek cyare till nex time….Mek me knoe ow tings go.
Dulcimer Peaches Robothom
from Oracabessa and Westmoreland


About the author

Dulcimer "Peaches" Robothom