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Sammy lose him cool ( Part 2)

Written by Kharl Daley

Markdown:Much to my ease and comfort I had just dispelled intestinal gas when out of no where my ‘wishy washy’ looking grandson would suddenly appear. “Granpa! Granpa! There’s a lady at the gate asking for you,” said he excitedly as he stood before me in close proximity. “Who she?” I ask of him as a mass of foul air increasingly engulfs us. His explanation yielded very little clue and as he discreetly tried to ward off the horrible stench I became silently amused. Skilfully masking the smirk from my face I then summoned him to bring her come. Immediately, he took off, leaving me alone fully drenched in that awful odour, galloping towards the gate with his shirt tail fluttering and hardly any luck keeping his trousers from falling off his behind. The 10 o’ clock sun was blazingly hot and the sky was crystal clear with several species of birds flying and chirping all around. I took few last sips from the cheese pan of lemonade I was drinking and toss the dregs onto the blooming daffodils, then make my way to the veranda to await the person. “Good Morning!” she greeted me as she makes her way up the flowers laden walkway. Her accent is one that I would say has spent many years on American soil. “Pleasant Good Morning to you Madame; and how are you today?” “Good, thank you and yourself?” she asked in return. “Well I am much the better for seeing you my dear, come up and have a seat, rest you foot a little. So I hear you inquiring about me, how can I be of service to you?” “Yes” said she in response “and that of course if you are Garnet.” “Yes man is I name so, so please feel free to talk.” “Well my name is Evie and I have been reading your articles on Jamaicans. Com and once a week I go looking for part two of Sammy and weeks have passed and I have yet to see any.” And with a smile she continued “Look yah man, don’t start something and leave me hanging yah sah.”Having heard Evie’s raunchy accusation of leaving her ‘hanging’ I could only muster up the following, “Well, Lady, as a Jamaican you should know that Jamaican man don’t just rush and finish things so quickly, we like to take time and do things properly, because if its not well done you will find even more complain that what you have now.”“Whatever!” said she in a saucy voice while stretching forth her neck at me. “Thank you for indulging an old lady (smile) I been in the US for 44 years and now live in Orlando, Florida. I enjoy your story very much and even send a copy to my momma. She is also very fond of your stories and so here I am and since you won’t write it I come for you to tell me.” I could not help it; I burst into song and dance: “Dis long time gal mi never see you, come make we wheel and turn, long time gal mi never see you come make me hold your hand, peel head dranco sit dung inna tree top pick off the blossom, make me hold your hand , make me hold your hand. Well whether Evie joined me in song and dance is not of any of you business so just allow me then to tell you how Sammy lose him cool.”Everyone was seated except Sammy but with Misses Matilda’s constant begging and besieging he reluctantly took to the bench.All the other church members were exceptionally quiet and only Sammy kept rambling on. Eventually, Sammy would quit grumbling and to the sighs and relief of the rest, it was time for Pastor Mc Calla to explain what become of the money to purchase the church land.“Brothers and sisters in Christ,” said he, “I have been chosen to do God’s work and to prepare you for his second coming.” Sammy upon hearing those words quickly blared out, “Just come up fus with the raase money and leave the second coming to Gezas, save that sermon for Sunday, now ha the money mi waan hear bout.”Now because Sammy has a flaw nose the words sounded really funny and the Pastor pretending not to hear him just continued talking, but Misses Matilda was much disturbed.“Sammy! Sammy! Not like that in the house of the Lord,” she strongly rebuked him, but Sammy by then was in full rage and on his feet.“I have done God’s will and He has instructed me to keep the money until He has so directed me to spend” said Pastor Mc Calla. Sammy seemingly would take no more of that crap talk and with one hand dipping and searching into his pocket only to emerged with a wooden handle, stained blade, rusty ole knife.Hurriedly limping he makes his way between the benches heading straight to the table where pastor sat with a look of clam on his face, unperturbed by Sammy’s outrage. Misses Matilda grabbed on to Sammy’s hand as the other church members looked on with astonishment, clearly shaken by the commotion.“Sammy! Sammy! In the name of Jesus get a hold of your self,” shouted Matilda as she held on to him. In a burst of energy Sammy flashed her half. “Y’u a hear me sah,” said Sammy directing his words to the pastor “Jus fork out my money gie me before y’u mek it go further.”Again Miss Matilda put a grip on Sammy.“Sammy, Sammy is only money don’t get yourself into no trouble mi dear,” she pleaded with him.( But Sammy was full of anger.)“Leg go affah mi, y’u think is yours me talking about, ha strictly mine mi ha defend’ as he launch at the pastor. It was then all pandemonium broke loose.Footnote: ( Ha now Evie ha go bex, cause she have to wait till next time or better yet she nuh can sleep over if she waan hear the rest) Later, mi haffi go feed the fowl dem.

About the author

Kharl Daley