Ms. Dulcie Sey: See Me and Cum liv wid me……..heh! heh!

Howdy-do hall hof mi faitful fans. Ow iz uno doin dese days? Lawd mi knoe sey tings rough ‘caus hall a de peple  dem a hact like dem off dem rockas.
Me sey, de Wul soon bruk hout inna civil war, hevry badie jus pon prickles. Me belive sey de wul iz cummin to han hen. ‘Cause hevry badie possess wid de debil.
Hanyhow, me iz still travelin hall hova de globe. Me jus get bak few days ago from Hawaii., me go meet de Yehuda an de Hingrid de. Dem go pon wan second honeymoon before me grampickney bawn. What a hexcitement!
De Hingrid she a run hup an dung inna bikini bath suit pon de beach, me jus kinely carry wan tent frock an cover she hup. Sum time me no know wey dat girle chile a tink. She read too much magazine wid de celebrite dem. De Yehuda im mussey get heat stroke cuz since me chat to im de odder day im iz has quiet has wan mouse. De two a dem iz from wan hextreme to anodder. Dat de poor chile ! Me iz gwey haffi buy wan jet fe go back an forth to fi dem yard every week. Me no wan dem fe tun mi grampickney fool!
Lek me change de subject, cause dem two sen hup me custed high blood pressha. Well, me get wan letta from wan lady who board a daughta hout inna Kingston, Jamaica.
Listen to de letta wey she sen me…….What a freshness…eh?
Dear Ms. Dulcimer:
My daughter Asha got a scholarship to go to Immaculate High School in Kingston, since my husband and I dwell in Oracabessa we thought it would be best for her to dwell with her Godmother in Kingston.  My husband and I are both Physicians and have always given Asha the very best in life. Eventhough Asha has been privileged most of her life she is a very well adjusted young lady and appreciates everything given to her in life. Which is an unusual quality for someone growing up the way Asha has been coddled.
Her Godmother, Ms. Livinia Lankasham was a dear friend of my husband and I and a former Bridge partner.
From the time Asha was born she was quite taken with her. She fawned over Asha as if it were her own child. Therefore, when we thought of Godparents for Asha, Livinia seemed like a natural choice. Over the years, Asha has developed a great fondness for her and would confide in her with matters that were more confidential. My husband and I found that a blessing, since teenagers often confide in their friends, leaving parents dangling in the wind.
So when Asha passed her Common Entrance Exam for Immaculate we thought it would be a wonderful opportunity for her and Livinia to bond. My husband and I sat down with Livinia and Asha and discussed the entire issue. We told Asha what was expected of her and also informed Livinia Lankasham that she would be generously compensated for helping us with Asha. She insisted that she did not need compensation, that Asha was a joy and that alone was compensation. However, my husband and I persistent.
As we all know these days, nothing is for free. Three months ago we packed Asha up and sent her to live with Livinia Lankisham in her home in Barbican, Kingston.
According to Asha, the first few weeks were wonderful. Livinia made her breakfast every morning, and gave her lunch to take to school. She took her to school and picked her up every afternoon. In the evenings they ate dinner together, and afterwards, Livinia would often offer to help Asha with her studies. This lasted for the first three weeks.
Asha reported to us, that suddenly there was a drastic change. Livinia would start banging the pots around in the kitchen and when Asha came into the kitchen area she would order her to make breakfast for both of them. When Asha told her that she was only thirteen and didn’t know how, she responded, “You are lazy and your parents baby you too much, when I was your age I could cook an entire meal !”
This sent Asha crying to her room, because  it is true that Asha cannot cook and that is because my husband and I have always employed Help in the home to assist with all her needs. However, Asha has always had chores, like making her bead, keeping the bathroom tidy, taking care of her pets and occasionally making a dessert or salad for the dinner table.
This situation went on for weeks. When it came for Asha to go to school, she told her to get herself there because she was too rude. This was because Asha refused to cook meals, because she did not know how. Livinia began to malice her and treat her badly.
She stopped buying food in the house that Asha could eat, so almost every week I had to be running to the telegram office to send additional money to Kingston so Asha could have pocket money to satisfy her hunger.
During this time my husband and I were devastated. Our hands were tied because we did not want to remove Asha from school in the beginning of her first Semester. I was frantic running around to find a Private School with the same prestige that Immaculate offered in Oracabessa. It was a difficult task.
Livinia finally outdid herself when she told our daughter that my husband and I are not as hoity-toity as we seemed. She told our child that my husband is a drunkard and that I am a harlot because when I was in Medical School all the other Interns were chasing me.
If that was not bad enough, she put our daughter to cleaning up her yard and taking out her garbage. Telling her she had to earn her keep. When Asha adamantly refused, she slapped her.
Asha refused to eat, sleep or leave her room for two weeks.
My daughter has never experienced such cruel and unusual punishment from anyone. Her father and I have always dealt justly, and gently with her.
She knows our expectations and she very rarely strays from our guidelines. Therefore when someone like Livinia Lankasham mistreats our child it hurts deeply.
My husband Hugh and I found these actions of Livinia very offensive, because she was supposed to be a “good friend” and we paid her $3000 JA$ per week for the boarding of
Asha. This amount was more than enough for her to afford a cook, gardener, food or whatever was needed to make our child comfortable.
After the slapping incident, I drove in the middle of the night from Oracabessa to Kingston to collect my Asha. When I got there I heard a lot of arguing going on.
Apparently Asha had left an empty glass in the sink and Livinia woke her up to wash it out. Because she did not respond fast enough, she accosted her in the hallway, to attempt another slap and that is when I rang the doorbell.
When Livinia opened the door, she almost fell to the ground from shock. If I had not heard the awful argument for myself. I would have thought my daughter was suffering from delusions. I quickly swooped Asha in my arms and grabbed her things and left Ms. Lankasham without a word. If I had said anything to her it would not have been nice.
To think that my husband Hugh did not want me to come to Kingston in the middle of the night, but if I didn’t, only God knows what would have happened. Thank the Lord, for mother’s intuition!
Afterall, we did not raise a “Patsy“.
Ms. Dulcie, my husband and I are so upset about this situation, because sometimes you think that you know people but the truth is, you never really know them until you live with them or take a closer look. Hugh and I have decided that Kingston has the best schools, so we are going to spend our hard earned money to have a nanny and a driver for  Asha at the Pegasus Hotel. There she could be her own person and they report directly to us every day and night. On the weekends, Hugh and I take turns driving to Kingston to check in, just to make sure things are going well.
Asha seems happy, her grades are phenomenal and Ms. Lankasham is a distant memory.
However, Ms. Dulcie, I am still feeling the loss of a “friend” and I have feelings of being duped at the same time. Also, for the record, my husband is not a drunk, occasionally, after a long day at the Psych ward, he usually has a glass of cognac to calm his nerves.
The Doctors’ in crisis
Dear Doctas in crisis:
Ole time peple inna Jamica sey, “See me an cum liv wid me a two diffrant tings”.
Yu knoe what dat mean ?  Yu see simadie hevry day, bu wen you really get fi knoe dem. Iz a real shocka. Dat’s why God bless the chile dat has his or her hown.
Praise Jesus sey uno get uno pickney wey from dat de debil oman ! She haff a direck problem. Me tink sey she jelous you an you usban an takin it hout pon you pickney.
Yu knoe dem haf a ole Jamican sayin dat wen simadie wan fi ketch you, dem bide dem time an play de game. Well dat’s what Livinia wuz doin. She probly cyant stan you an you usban an pickney. She juss wuz playin de game, waitin far de right hopportunity fe shegg uno hup.
Yu should Thank God sey you fine hout now, ‘cause who knoe wey she wuz planning dung de road?  Dis ya oman iz missin a screw. She no righted at all.
Consida uno self lucky, ‘cause if dat girle chile Asha did stay dere wan more day. Uno probly would be goin to ar fineral.
If me wuz you Mrs. Docta, me wouldn’t heven cansida dis wretched oman hany longa. Lef ar to God. “Cause wey she do to dat pickney iz chile abuse.
Iz a shame wen you grow you pickney nice, an treat dem good an simady cum along an traumatize dem, shegging dem hup far life. Juss get you pickney sum counseling fi mek sure de debil oman no cause ar no serious mental harm an lef de rest to God.
Me gwey pray far yu an yu usban. You knoe dat’s why me nevva board hout Hingrid, ‘cause me iz wan mad oman, an between me an Missa Fowla we wuld did bruk hup housekeepin.
Me spen too much money pon fi me gal pickney fi mek hanybadie tun ar inna fool dat’s why me tell de Yehuda hevry chance me get, “I ham watchin you!”
Tek cyare mi luv. Pray all de time. Till nex time.
Dulcimer Peaches Robothom

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Dulcimer "Peaches" Robothom