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So Mom's visiting from JA....................

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  • #61
    Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: JJandMel</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

    [The boys with Mom right after she landed, dress in their night clothes. They hopped out of bed after their sister told them I was heading to the airport to get Jamaican Grandma:]



    </div></div>

    Mom a gwan good!! She does have that St Bess look to ar but I think you mentioned she is on the western side of the island
    If you don't fight for what you deserve, you deserve what you get.
    We are > Fossil Fuels --- Bill McKibben 350.org

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    • #62
      Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

      <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: JJandMel</div><div class="ubbcode-body">There was a time when Mel couldn't wait for her to leave because they just could not get along. Mom was always intent on telling her just how she needed to take care of her son and Mel had serious issues with that.

      </div></div>

      yes I know how dat go
      <span style="font-style: italic">But si yah! Yu nuh easy! <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/704555_dwl.gif <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/70394-bawlout.gif</span>

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      • #63
        Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

        <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Anyway his mom could almost pass for mine. Only mine is a serious St Elizabeth red head.
        Her patois is better than mine too. </div></div>


        ahm doc it is said that st bess and good patois is an oxymoron

        <span style="font-style: italic"> run gawn before sweetssop and mgee ketch mi </span>
        If you don't fight for what you deserve, you deserve what you get.
        We are > Fossil Fuels --- Bill McKibben 350.org

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        • #64
          Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

          laughed till i cried.. fell in LOve with your mom

          Can't ya just wait to get old
          Keep the faith . .

          Comment


          • #65
            Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

            <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Nylah</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Littleman</div><div class="ubbcode-body"><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Curmudgeon_Milo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

            God bless her! (((MOMMA))) </div></div>

            <span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-weight: bold">While you still have her around, healthy and hearty...<span style="font-size: 14pt">God bless her</span>!!</span></span> </div></div>



            agreed

            even though she may make you cringe with her ways, I'd still be happy to have her around so that you can stil cringe abouti it

            these are good stories and memories you will have after she si gone and so will your children too. Dont love her more after she is dead cause she is such a character appreciatethe jokes she gives you and your family now.


            </div></div>

            <span style="color: #000099"><span style="font-weight: bold">When unnuh get hol to, unnuh will know what it feel like, hage is not a crime... Yout' always t'ink seh feh dem hagileness ah deh hongle t'ing...</span></span>
            Absolute power corrupts absolutely...

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            • #66
              Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

              Nice post real funny

              I remember the first time I met my jamaican grandmother I was about 18, she looked at me and said lawd Gawdddd a wa mek yu so white yu look like salt poak yu need some sun...wat the hell is salt poak am saying to myself. Then she spin me around and said well me can tell yu is me son dawta cause yu got the jamaican batty gyal yu got it gwine on
              Your belief don't make you a better person, your behaviour does. Love is what we were born with, fear is what we learn.

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              • #67
                Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

                <span style="font-weight: bold">SUNDAY MORNING UPDATE</span>

                Despite the fact that Mom is 7th Day Adventist, she decided that she wanted to go to Church with us on Sunday morning..[we're Baptist].

                Mel was getting dressed and tried on a skirt she had bought the day before. She said, &quot; I don't like this skirt, it makes me look too big, I'll see if your mom wants it.&quot;

                I watch as she walks up to Mom and says &quot; Mom, do you want this skirt I just bought yesterday? I don't like it, it makes me look too big.&quot;

                Mom replied &quot;<span style="font-style: italic">but you are big</span>!!&quot;

                Holy Crap!!!!!

                I make a quick exit to the front door because the war was on and I wanted no part of it!!

                A few minutes later, we are pile up in the van heading to church. Mom is humming some tune, Mel is [censored], Britt is [censored], the boys are fighting and I am keeping my mouth shut.

                We get to church, I introduce Mom to the Pastor and some of the folks. She's being reserved and behaving (fingers crossed).

                She sits at the far end, Britt sits between me and Mel. The boys head off to children's church. Now, the Pastor likes to have bible verses projected on the screen behind him when he makes reference to them during the sermon. Each time one pops up, Mom would read aloud right along with him, sometimes drowning out the poor man. I'm kinda dark, but I'm sure I was visibly red from 2 miles away. I leaned over and politely said, &quot;<span style="font-style: italic">Mom please be quiet</span>&quot;. She &quot;kissed&quot; her teeth at me and said &quot;<span style="font-style: italic">gwaan wey bwoy, chuh man</span>&quot; and proceeds to hum again!!!

                (You know, I though 7th Day Adventist were pretty reserved people who kept quiet in church, but I think Mom's old pentecostal self was resurfacing...seriously!!)

                <span style="font-weight: bold">AFTER CHURCH!!</span>

                We head to Springfield, Mel needed some stuff from the Mall and we were going out to eat. (NO FISH HEAD THIS TIME FOR SURE!!)

                We leave the kids and Mom int he van and head inside the mall. I can tell that Mel is still mad as hell but I hold her hand, and tell her it's going to be ok. We get back to the van and Andy is upset and crying. Britt is fuming and about ready to explode.

                This time I take the lead, motion to Mel to be quiet and ask what happened. Apparently Mom had decided to chomp on the boys really hard for being rowdy in the van and then began comparing them to one of my sister's boys and at times telling them that they are nowhere close to being as good as her kids!! Oh crap again!!

                Mel floors the van and heads for Applebee's (I think she needs a drink really bad....me too I think).

                Mel sits with the boys and I sit with Mom, Britt between us! Andy is upset the whole time, Mel is fuming, Nate is rebelling, Britt is still [censored], I am caught in the middle...Mom is till humming that damn song!!!

                On the way home, Andy calls Mel's Mom and tells her to come and get him and Nate. They are spending the night. I guess the feeling is mutual now because I hate every bone in my mother-in-law's body and try to keep my boys away from her, but I realize that they need the break!!

                The boys leave, Britt jumps in her car and leaves. Mel and I go out back. She's ready for Mom to go and wants me to go and tell her that she needs to apologize to the kids. The phone rings, it's my sister. She wants to talk to Mom. I overhear Mom telling her that she is staying for 3 weeks before heading back to Miami to see her!!

                (Mel is not going to like this) ....

                I head to the kitchen and mix myself a Rum &amp; Coke (don't judge me...dem drink inna dih bible).

                It looks likes it's going to be a long 3 weeks.

                (More to come..............I sure of it).
                <span style="font-weight: bold">&quot;It is better to be hated for you are than to be liked for who you are not&quot;</span>

                Comment


                • #68
                  Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

                  <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Mom replied &quot;but you are big!!&quot;
                  </div></div>
                  <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">This time I take the lead, motion to Mel to be quiet and ask what happened. Apparently Mom had decided to chomp on the boys really hard for being rowdy in the van and then began comparing them to one of my sister's boys and at times telling them that they are nowhere close to being as good as her kids!! </div></div>




                  mommy do har ownself in now

                  but it sounds like something that my mother or mil would say

                  and hush i tek a drink or two when dem come to visit too ..and me not normally a drinker

                  “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

                    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Stormmey1</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Nice post real funny

                    I remember the first time I met my jamaican grandmother I was about 18, she looked at me and said lawd Gawdddd a wa mek yu so white yu look like salt poak yu need some sun...wat the hell is salt poak am saying to myself. Then she spin me around and said well me can tell yu is me son dawta cause yu got the jamaican batty gyal yu got it gwine on </div></div>

                    LOL....I can relate. I tease Mel sometimes and tell her that she is the whitest white girl I know. Mom kinda added to that by saying &quot; a how dih gyal suh white, mi seh!!!&quot;
                    <span style="font-weight: bold">&quot;It is better to be hated for you are than to be liked for who you are not&quot;</span>

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

                      Sorry but I'm on your mom's side. Obviously your wife put her foot in her own mouth, by saying she looked big in the skirt. Women are usually honest &quot;if they are truly a good friend or relative&quot; when speaking on such matters as weight as well as what looks good on you or not.

                      I was in the store the other day waiting in line. This Spanish girl asked me if I liked the skirt and top she had chosen. The skirt was green and the blouse was purple. I told her if she had a white, green or black top at home to wear with the skirt it would be better. Don't wear the purple and green skirt together or she'd look like a hot mess. Another lady chimmed in telling her the same thing.


                      Your mom is too funny

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                      • #71
                        Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

                        I hope you're saving all of this

                        too funny, hush and this too shall pass and when mommy dearest leave you all will miss her.

                        Love how you tell the story.

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

                          my mil (being somewhat more diplomatic) would probably say something like &quot;well yes you've put on a little weight&quot;

                          my mother now ...'yes girl u big fi true&quot;,.... but in the next breath.&quot;here i fry this plantain for u., have some more stewpeas &quot;
                          “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

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                          • #73
                            Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

                            This is just too funny...keep it coming...
                            Out of Many One People Online
                            http://www.jamaicans.com

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                            • #74
                              Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

                              <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ceabee</div><div class="ubbcode-body">my mil (being somewhat more diplomatic) would probably say something like &quot;well yes you've put on a little weight&quot;

                              my mother now ...'yes girl u big fi true&quot;,.... but in the next breath.&quot;here i fry this plantain for u., have some more stewpeas &quot; </div></div>



                              She should have just said &quot; Oh I really didn't like the color once I tried it on&quot; Then again, his mom could have said &quot;I don't like the color or style either, why are you trying to pawn it on me?

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                Re: So Mom's visiting from JA....................

                                Yikes!

                                We could trade notes on mother outlaws.
                                <span style="font-style: italic">But si yah! Yu nuh easy! <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/704555_dwl.gif <<GRAEMLIN_URL>>/70394-bawlout.gif</span>

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