Advice & Help

Three Marriage Toxins To Flush Out For A Fruitful Marriage

Guava was a fruit I fed on growing up in Jamaica.  Guava trees spread all over my neighborhood of Linstead in the parish of St. Catherine in Jamaica.  Even now I get a vivid imagery of the smell of the guavas on trees lined out along the street I lived on.  My brother and I would go to what we called “guava walk” and eat guava to a full belly.  In the summer time we would also eat lots of mangoes and would sometimes have to bite around some of the spoiled areas of the mangoes.  But nothing would stop us from enjoying whatever fruits we could get from fruit trees, despite knowing that we would be getting a “washout” before we go back to school.   I loved eating the fruits but hated taking the “washout.”  The washout was necessary however and there was no way around it.  Our grandparents wanted to make sure our systems were clean and fresh to start a new school year.  She would give us a thing called Tyrax to clean out all the toxins in our bodies from what they believed to have come from all the bad fruits we may have eaten.  That was their belief and we had no choice in the matter.

Sometimes our marriage relationships get clocked up with toxins and a flush is needed to bring out the fruitfulness in our relationships.  “So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate”  Matthew 19:6.  This Bible verse is recited at almost every wedding ceremony where many friends, family members and even the Pastors from church attend.  It is embedded in the brain of almost every human being but not every human being really understand it enough to obey it.  But it is in the Bible for a great purpose.  God knows that a marriage can suffer harshly if married couples are not intentional to get rid of other toxic relationships that will hinder the fruitful growth in the marriage.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with having connections from friends and family or even church family but married couples MUST be careful to avoid these three at all costs in order to have a great marriage.

The Inconsiderate Friend

A really true friend will always consider your marriage relationship to be first.  They want the best for you and your spouse and will never try to take up all your time with idle chatter, gossip and the like, that will pull you away from quality time with your spouse.  A toxic friend will try to pull you into their toxic world and does not care about your marriage relationship.  Be wise enough to put your spouse first by letting that “so-called” friend know their limits.  You may even have to cut them off but your priority lies in your marriage relationship.  This is in obedience to God who created marriage.  Remember, He said “let no human being separate who He has joined together.”

The Interfering In-Law

“For this reason, a man shall leave his mother and father and CLEAVE to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”  Mark 10:8-9.  It is impossible to obey this verse while allowing your mother or father to constantly be in the day to day aspects of your marriage relationship.  Some spouses tell their parents every detail of their married life and even enable the involvement of parents in their decision making in the marriage.  This is absolute danger and usually leads bigger problems in the marriage.  Lovingly remind your parents that you are now married and decisions must be ultimately between you and your spouse, regardless of their opinions.

The Misleading Church Leader

When a leader in the church leads a married couple away from God’s direction for marriage it spells danger.  This leader is held at a higher calling by God and the expectation is that such a leader encourages both spouses to become ONE and not be a part of the separation of both spouses.  If at any time you see your church leader pulling you away from your spouse whether, emotionally, and sometimes unintentionally, it is of UTMOST importance that you not allow it.  Again, lovingly remind your leader who you are.  You are a married person and your spouse is your number one priority following your relationship with God.  A great leader will not only understand but will agree and lead you in obedience to God’s word.

The ultimate goal in marriage is to enjoy your relationship while pleasing God as you please each other.  Friends, family and church brothers and sisters are important but God’s Hiarchy, if changed, will never lead to Love, Joy, Peace and Harmony in your marriage.  Michelle and I pray that every married couple will follow God’s order for marriage and enjoy His perfect creation of marriage while reflecting the image of His son, Jesus, in the marriage relationship.  Huddle up and enjoy each other.  You have a blessing.

About The Author

Carim Hyatt

Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies.  He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God.  Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image.  Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.

Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife Michelle, are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a radio talk show reaching all over the world.   He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh.   His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking.  Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has led him.  Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family.  He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart.  His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image

Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families.

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Photo – Deposit Photos

About the author

Carim Hyatt