Culture

Jamaican Politician.

Written by Delano George Bell

Family –
You must have a good family name. The United States have the Kennedys while Jamaica is rumored to have 10 families of influence. If you do not have a family name you may get by if you marry in to one of these families. However this will require that you mention the name of your In-laws at every public event you participate in.

Money-
Being a politician in Jamaica can be very expensive since most politicians have "bodyguards" in every constituent. These "bodyguards" are trained in the use of high-powerd weapons shipped in specifically for them from the U.S.

Alignment-
You have to align with the "right" people to ensure that you will be elected to a post. From your day of birth you will have to hand-pick friends and dating mates from specific segments of the society. You cannot hang out with rebels, but you may hire them as a bodyguards. You cannot let it be known that you dated a sketel or montel. The essential wife for an aspiring politician , who already has a name, is a "Miss Jamaica" winner.

Own a business-
Politics and business in Jamaica always go hand in hand. What politician would think to run for office if he was not a successful businessman? How would he know the value of the U.S. currency that passes through the government? If he were not a politician how would he know to invest in other countries. How would he pay for bodyguards. How would he advise the government and his fellow party comrades about the benefits of offshore banking. How do you expect to save the government money if you cannot pay for your bodyguards and provide them with the best weapons.

Occupation :Lawyer-
Any good politician must be able to defend himself in all the false accusations that he may face during his career. Lawyers are "honest" people and can diplomatically explain anything including the facts of any political scandals. They talk in "simple terms" using words such as categorically and systematically that the average person can understand.

The Campaign
Campaigning in Jamaica is similar to any other country, many promises and none kept. The key difference is nobody’s dirty laundry is to be hung out for the public to see. This means if any of the candidates are cheating on their spouse it is not to be revealed during election. Conflicts of interest like business between a candidate and the government is not to be discussed. It is rumored that most of the current politicians in the three political parties in Jamaica have deals with each other. Don’t be surprised if you see two politicians in opposing parties having a drink and playing dominoes.

Showing a humanitarian Side.
Adopt an inner city. Recruit a few "bodyguards" and give them the tools to carry out their jobs. Sponsor the youth soccer team and deploy your bodyguards to every match they play.

About the author

Delano George Bell