Culture

Risto

Written by Delano George Bell

Origin
The origin of those who perceive themselves to be Ristos:

Children of Rich Parents – Funnily enough, their parents’ money is usually "tied up" in the family business. Needless to say, these children usually never receive the bulk of their parents’ estate.

Glory Day and wash-up-athletes – These are individuals who were famous for their athletic accomplishments. They can be heard explaining in intricate details "the good old days" where they "did this" or they "did that" and the many accolades they accumulated during those "Glory Years". They may try to obtain complimentary "goods" based upon their name, such as free concert tickets and free passes to sporting events. A word of caution, a "Glory Day/Wash-up Athlete" Risto may get positively rude, upset or cause a scene if he/she is not recognized or acknowledged.

Big Name – The relatives of politicians, actors, entertainers and other prominent, affluent Jamaicans. (Rumor has it that there are between 7-10 families that run Jamaica and you will be lucky to have their last name) These people are usually avid travellers who, for some reason, gear their travelling expeditions towards South America, parts of Europe, and, generally, any venue that is non-Jamaican. Hence the accident (accent) that is totally foreign to most of the Jamaican community.

"The Uptown Crew" – Those who reside in the more affluent neighborhoods of their respective Caribbean countries. A satellite dish in every home was mandatory long before the "dish" became affordable to the "masses" of "regular" individuals who lived in "regular homes".

Nick Names
– Ristos do not have nick names. To them that is totally classless. Risto know each other by last names. They will always ask you for a last name to see if you have a "Risto" family background.

Accent
The Risto has a totally different accent from all other Jamaicans. They tend to talk slowly and draw their words out.(Sound clip coming soon)

Appearance
Their attire is usually only that of name brand clothing. A crest on the shirt or blouse is a must. Smoking is a necessity for most Ristos. Not a necessity in the literal sense of the word, but a necessity to fill a social need, so as to fit in with the "IN CROWD". At social events, clubs, or parties, they ONLY drink "mixed drinks". Red Stripe, Heiniken and beer are not generally accepted. The latter brews are reserved for the lower echelons.

Music
Disco, rock music and sometimes reggae, assuming it’s the "IN ARTIST".

Hangout
Cactus, Peppers (Kingston), Devon House (Kingston), Weekend Villas along the North Coast and Mirage night club (Kingston).

Ambition
To be wealthy or given prominence like their parents or peers, preferably accomplishing this feat with as little work as humanly possible.

About the author

Delano George Bell