I never really pondered the real purpose for God creating marriage until after a few years into my own marriage to Michelle. I asked married couples these three questions in a class Michelle and I led, and their answers confirmed that they were in the same boat as I was, not understanding the real reason God created marriage. The first question “why did you get married?” revealed the motives that marriage is to have a partner, or to share a home, or to have kids. The reality is that these are all great answers and true to great extents.
The second question asked was “IS THERE A MARRIAGE WITHOUT PROBLEMS?” This question sparked answers that brought out the truth that marriage relationships are never exempt from challenges. Your spouse’s rebellion, though wrong, is used by God to grow you as a spouse into developing real love for your spouse, considering the fact that love is patient. It is the catalyst to overcoming future trials you will face along your marriage journey as you develop strength and wisdom from God through surrendering to Him to lead you in responding to that rebellious spouse.
The third and most important question I asked the couples, “WHY DID GOD CREATE MARRIAGE?” Many answers were given but none that really proved the ultimate reason for the creation of Marriage. Marriage was created by God to bring glory to God Himself. Until married couples understand this, accept this and live this out in their own married lives, they will not experience the real joy, love and harmony that was intended to experience. The harsh reality though is that without a personal relationship with Christ it becomes very difficult to live this beneficial reality out.
There are married couples out there who have discovered this mystery of bringing glory to God in their marriages and are enjoying the great benefits of a great marriage. Yet there are many who are suffering in their relationships because they are not really married and think they are. They are living in the same house together as companions, signed marriage certificates, made marriage vows at the wedding and having growing kids, but not enjoying the real benefits of marriage. These four proofs that you are not really married are intended to help change your outlook on marriage and ultimately allow you to enjoy what God has created.
You Refuse To Deny Self
Marriage was created for you to serve your spouse and not for you to serve yourself. Understanding the fact that God intends to bring Christ out of man, to have man reflect the image of Christ in marriage, is the first step to denying self. Christ died for you and your spouse to save you both. Not only did He die, He was raised back up to victory over every situation. This is symbolic of you being victorious in your marriage when you put yourself last and your spouse first to please Christ. This is one major characteristic of what marriage is. It brings glory to God and allows you to enjoy a great marriage.
You Refuse To Submit To Be Led
A spirit of Jezebel is a manipulative spirit that refuses to submit to any form of leadership. You or your spouse may be opened to this spirit and not the Holy Spirit. If you find that you are always wanting things your way in the marriage, refusing to allow God to lead you or a wife refusing to allow the husband to lead her, you may be allowing the spirit of Jezebel to lead you. A real marriage is free of leadership from Jezebel and opened to leadership from the Holy Spirit of God. This is another major characteristic of what marriage is. God gets the glory and you enjoy a great marriage through obedience to His leadership on how to be married.
You Operate Out Of Feelings
When you get married feelings are secondary and purpose is primary. This is the best way to enjoy a successful marriage relationship. If you are responding to your spouse based on how you feel, then love is not real. Feelings come and go. Today you feel good and tomorrow you don’t. This minute you are okay and next you are in a bad mood. If your spouse treats you unlovingly because of their feeling that day, they are operating outside of what marriage is and so would you. Marriage hinges on both LOVE and RESPECT, not one without the other. Feelings can be a BIG hinderance to showing love and respect. Showing LOVE and RESPECT to each other happens independently of how you feel. This is a very important indicator as to whether you are really operating in marriage or not.
You Put Friends And Things Above Your Spouse
Giving priority means treasuring your marriage. “Where your treasure is, there will be your heart also” Matthew 6:21. You are not really married to your spouse if you are in the same house but not giving prioritized time to your spouse. If you are spending more time on the cell with friends, texting than with your spouse relating, you are really having a more prioritized relationship with friends. This goes back to the question, “why did you get married?” God created marriage for both of you to become one flesh. Any hinderance you allow blocks what God intended and you end up not enjoying your marriage relationship. This holds truth when your spouse does this to you also.
This article is not to point fingers but to expose the reality of what makes for a real marriage relationship that thrives God’s way. It is never too late to do a marriage check-up and enjoy a great marriage relationship with each other. Huddle up and live.
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