Advice & Help

8 Things You Must Tell Your Spouse Before You Tell Your Friends

I was speaking with one of my brothers from my church recently and heard a statement he made that confirmed my idea of friendship.  As we talked about a specific topic that rang a bell in his mind he said this, “I am going home right now to tell this to my best friend.”  I was a bit confused.  Why did he have a friend living with him and his wife and kids?  And why would he tell his friend rather than his wife such a thing that was so private?  I asked him these questions and his response hit me with a hard reality that many spouses do not even consider or agree with.

 “Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[a] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man” Genesis 2:22.  

The first marriage was created by God joining this man and woman together in Holy matrimony.  Not only did he create the marriage but he created her from the rib of the man.  This is symbolic of them being so close as two becoming one.  His idea for every married couple is for husband and wife to become one in every area of the relationship, whether finances, sex, secrets, conversations and so many more parts of life together.  The closest person to you is your spouse.  If you consider your best friend the closest person to you then it must be your spouse.  If you tell your closest friend the most personal issues it should be your spouse.

In order to get feedback from others, I interviewed married couples asking them this question, “what do you consider important to disclose to your spouse rather than your friends and why?”  The answers confirmed the fact that your spouse should be your best friend.  As much as friends are important, be sensitive to your marriage in letting your spouse know you care and they are top priority.  Here are eight things recommended to share with your spouse before telling your friends.

You Have Bad Odor

Letting your husband or wife leave the house knowing this unfortunate fact about them is not loving.  Love is kind.  It would be unkind to talk to your friend about it rather than telling your spouse.

I Lost My Job

Your financial situation is private between you and your spouse.  This new financial situation creates an impact in your home, not your friend’s home.

I Got A Promotion

Sharing good news with your spouse must be top priority.  Telling your friend first speaks volume as to who is more important to you.

I Am Pregnant

Really?  You tell your friend before telling your spouse?  Really?

I Am Not Happy

Do you want an honest response to this issue?  If so, do not tell your friend first.  You may get the response you do not really want, “LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP.”

My Biggest Dreams

If your dream should become reality it benefits you and your spouse.  A jealous friend may be a discouragement.

I Have Low Sex Drive

Physical Intimacy, whether good or bad, is a private discussion between husband and wife becoming one flesh.  A friend cannot help your sex drive to increase.  Your spouse can!

Your In-Laws Are A Bother

Can you imagine your spouse hearing this back from your friend?  Be honest with your spouse in this situation and talk it through to a resolution that benefits the marriage.  The marriage comes first.  Your friend is not a part of your marriage.

Huddle up and enjoy each other as you continue your journey of friendship and intimacy as you strive to become one flesh!

Contact information:  Carim Hyatt’s Profile – edit (


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About The Author

Carim Hyatt

Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies.  He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God.  Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image.  Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.

Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife Michelle, are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a radio talk show reaching all over the world.   He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh.   His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking.  Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has led him.  Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family.  He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart.  His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image

Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families.

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About the author

Carim Hyatt