I was speaking with one of my brothers from my church recently and heard a statement he made that confirmed my idea of friendship. As we talked about a specific topic that rang a bell in his mind he said this, “I am going home right now to tell this to my best friend.” I was a bit confused. Why did he have a friend living with him and his wife and kids? And why would he tell his friend rather than his wife such a thing that was so private? I asked him these questions and his response hit me with a hard reality that many spouses do not even consider or agree with.
“Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[a] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man” Genesis 2:22.
The first marriage was created by God joining this man and woman together in Holy matrimony. Not only did he create the marriage but he created her from the rib of the man. This is symbolic of them being so close as two becoming one. His idea for every married couple is for husband and wife to become one in every area of the relationship, whether finances, sex, secrets, conversations and so many more parts of life together. The closest person to you is your spouse. If you consider your best friend the closest person to you then it must be your spouse. If you tell your closest friend the most personal issues it should be your spouse.
In order to get feedback from others, I interviewed married couples asking them this question, “what do you consider important to disclose to your spouse rather than your friends and why?” The answers confirmed the fact that your spouse should be your best friend. As much as friends are important, be sensitive to your marriage in letting your spouse know you care and they are top priority. Here are eight things recommended to share with your spouse before telling your friends.
You Have Bad Odor
Letting your husband or wife leave the house knowing this unfortunate fact about them is not loving. Love is kind. It would be unkind to talk to your friend about it rather than telling your spouse.
I Lost My Job
Your financial situation is private between you and your spouse. This new financial situation creates an impact in your home, not your friend’s home.
I Got A Promotion
Sharing good news with your spouse must be top priority. Telling your friend first speaks volume as to who is more important to you.
I Am Pregnant
Really? You tell your friend before telling your spouse? Really?
I Am Not Happy
Do you want an honest response to this issue? If so, do not tell your friend first. You may get the response you do not really want, “LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP.”
My Biggest Dreams
If your dream should become reality it benefits you and your spouse. A jealous friend may be a discouragement.
I Have Low Sex Drive
Physical Intimacy, whether good or bad, is a private discussion between husband and wife becoming one flesh. A friend cannot help your sex drive to increase. Your spouse can!
Your In-Laws Are A Bother
Can you imagine your spouse hearing this back from your friend? Be honest with your spouse in this situation and talk it through to a resolution that benefits the marriage. The marriage comes first. Your friend is not a part of your marriage.
Huddle up and enjoy each other as you continue your journey of friendship and intimacy as you strive to become one flesh!
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