dear/baby daddy
i know u don’t want to/hear from me/but u see
today is father’s day/and/I thought about our son
he/is nine years old now/statement
”I don’t have a father”
his words/brought about/a sinking feeling/within.
I felt sad for him/feel/I should/take it upon
myself to address/your abrasive/rude/behavior
i know if your/ego/stubborn/self-centered ways
was/not in/the way/apparent
u/could/would/avoid/being/invisible
be there to enjoy/listen/watch him/grow
not about to remind him/of your flaws/failure
nor/speak/negatively/about your/resistance
to see him
u see/i realize/if u& I/had patience/took/the time/to know/each other
knew/what/I know/now/then/there would be/a level of/respect
our friendship/would not/have/brought/about/division/where/my presence/words/voice/stir/provoke/some/form of/pain in u
leaving our son/confuse/disappointed/bout your silence.
baby daddy/the ghost/u/ from/my past/haunts/me/the way
u/chose/to end/our/meeting/as/if/our son/never/exist
alienating/walking/away/to explain/the unexplainable/to him.
your/refusal to watch/him/play/laugh/try/at his dreams
figure out/where he stands/who he is/left him feeling/unsure
in sadness.
when i look at/our son/joy/dwells/deep within/I smile/reflect/bout
the time u/&I/laugh/reason/there was no/confusion
his eyes/gaze/twinkle/at me/melt/soften/out/the
fire/flame/hurt/anger/I felt/for u.
I use to/wanna cry/in my own/madness/afraid
thinkin/I can’t do it/don’t want to take on a dual role
mother/father/won’t survive/raising/a child on my own
reminding/myself/bout/what/I/read/heard/about/the statistic
another/male/raise without/a father.
single parent/mother/trying/struggling/to raise a boy
hoping/I do/my best/searching for a male/mentor
role model/that could assist/not to replace/the image
of u/as his father/he held on to/in/his/delicate/mind.
realizing/I am not alone/my higher power/shield/guides me
prepare/me/to/be/strong/when/i/feel/at/times/so/weary.
I pray that/our son/holds/no/animosity/grudge/against/u
I know/my tears/would not change/make/u/be the/man