One, two, three – Short story; adopted from the book The ORIGINAL JAMAICAN Patois
In the old days, before the late nineteen twenties and earlier, most Jamaican rural communities were very isolated and remote. This was partly due to the lack of transportation coupled with the bad condition of the roads. The main means of transport was the mule and dray, and the horse and buggy. The only paved […]
Business Marriage VS Presidential Executive Order – Memoirs of An Illegal Alien Part 107
I was now convinced I was living with Satan’s daughter. After the incident where Juliet followed me and saw me with Nicola she demanded more money for the business marriage. She said I had agreed to not see Nicola and I was still seeing her. She threatened to move out and call the whole thing […]
Hard Luck – Short story; adopted from the book The ORIGINAL JAMAICAN Patois
Rudolph was twenty-one, and still a virgin. There were two reasons for this; one, he was so ugly that no girl in his home town wanted to be seen with him, much more to sleep with him. Two; he could not afford to pay the prostitutes even though he offered them more than what he […]
Godmother and Enid. – Short story; adopted from the book The ORIGINAL JAMAICAN Patois
For nearly a century, from the late eighteen nineties to the early nineteen seventies, Jamaica enjoyed unprecedented growth compared to the other West Indian countries. The capital, Kingston was a melting pot. People from all over the world were taking up residences there. Along with the island’s lovely climate, cost of living was very low […]
Jamaican Jokes: Country Baby Fadah (Father)
A young Jamaican father-to-be living dung inna country awakened the village doctor in the middle of the night saying “Docta! Docta! Come fas! A mi wife sah! Ar water bruk an shi bout fi av di pikni!” The doctor came over and told the father “Hold up di lamp higher. Hold di lamp higher nuh!” […]
Newman Thompson – Short story; adopted from the book The ORIGINAL JAMAICAN Patois
In the Jamaican country side that Newman lived, he was known as the village lawyer. Many of the folks in the area affectionately called him Barrister. Some even thought that Barrister was his real name. The judicial court days were always on Wednesdays, and Newman would be in the court room whether he had a […]
Conflicted – Memoirs of An Illegal Alien Part 106
A political scandal dealing with immigration was dominating the news cycle. Typically, when you hear about politicians involved in an immigration scandal it is either a housekeeper or a babysitter, usually a labor worker they hired knowing they are illegal aliens. A Boca Raton politician vying for a seat in congress, was set to withdraw […]
8 Things Jamaicans Hate
Things Jamaicans Hate There are things Jamaican don’t like but nothing compares to what they hate. 1. Gi dem drinks wid too much ice 2. Go ah nine night an noh rum deh bout 3. Splash dem up wid wata wen dem inna di swimming pool 4. Give dem soup widout dumpling or any type […]
5 Things Jamaicans Are Afraid Of
Most Jamaicans like to act like they’re king of the world, but behind all that bravado, you will find some simple and weird things that they’re afraid of. From people who burn personal items in fear someone might use it to “work necromancy” and stop their progress, to when a ‘moos moos’ (mouse) runs across […]
5 Things about Jamaica That Drive Us Crazy
Bad roads, government bureaucracy, dirty politicians, shoddy service – there are lots of things about Jamaica that drive us crazy enough to make a good Christian curse. These are just a few hair-raising examples that may draw out a few colourful pieces of fabric. Customer service – It seems the Jamaican hospitality tourists often speak […]