You complicate my life

A dear friend of mine always says “Christine, tus complique la vie” (You complicate my life), I apologise for the spelling, it’s probably wrong. I don’t think it’s just her life that I complicate. I recently began taking diving lessons and, as in all things, I make things a little more interesting. First of all, I am convinced that I have to be the worst student that my instructor has ever had. I’m not the greatest swimmer so that’s a problem and it’s accompanied with my total lack of grace. You know, there are some people that seem as if they just walk into any situation and handle it perfectly. That’s not me. The friends that I started with have just completed the course but could things be that easy for me? No. I had to get sick and miss the first dive and then on the second dive my ears started to hurt so I couldn’t dive. The real frustrating thing about it is that one of the people in the class has tubes in her ears for crying out loud and wears ear plugs when swimming normally because her ears hurt but who do you think is on medication so that her ears don’t bother her? I’ll give you a hint, it’s not her. I just think that I’m jinxed. My instructor Andre though, is great, he doesn’t mention how bad I am and instead just says that I am the most enthusiastic student he’s ever had. I make up in enthusiasm what I lack in skill.

Today was special though. We were going on a boat dive, you know, the ones you see on T.V. where people flip backwards into the water and then go swimming. Well, as usual with anything involving me there had to be problems. The water was really choppy and I’m sitting on the boat wandering what I’m doing there because it’s only my second dive and if my mother knew what I was doing at that moment she’d be on her knees praying when Andre mentions that we will be flipping over the edge of the boat into the water. I just thought that we’d be descending from the ladder or something not plunging into 70 feet of water so when it’s my turn I just sit in the boat and say “no, I don’t want to do this”. I finally did do it after a little prompting but I don’t think I did it as nicely as everybody else did it. I kind of flipped a bit in the water and I think I went a little further done but remember I complicate people’s lives so anything less would not have been worthy of me. As we’re diving I tend to lag behind as usual so every once in awhile I had to be pulled along by Andre but that was the least of my problems. I kept rising every once in awhile and then couldn’t sink back down and based on the amount of weights I was already wearing that just shouldn’t have been happening especially since I’m already wearing more than what everybody else is wearing. I just can’t seem to stay down and if the whole point of the course is diving it really doesn’t help me that I’m rising instead. Hopefully I’ll eventually get better and will no longer be referred to as a “sea donkey”.

The dive itself was amazing. I saw turtles and sting rays and just so many different types of fish and coral that this is definitely something that I want to continue to do. I have two more dives to go before I’m certified and I really hope that I get better by then because I could see myself doing this frequently. I personally think I look very attractive with the mask over my face and hunched over from the weight of the oxygen tank as I shuffle to beach. I also don’t want to forget the added joy of wearing fins that make me look like a duck and I don’t think I maneuver them properly because they really don’t seem to take me very far. Anyway, to Andre, Ji, Annie and Helen I thank you for putting up with me and the complications I have added to your lives. I would rather think that I just add a little spice and make things a little more interesting because without me who would you laugh at?

About the author