Marriage was created by God. His plan and purpose for a life of marriage is for two (male and female) to follow His guidance into BECOMING one. “Therefore, a man shall leave his mother and father, and the two shall BECOME one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
I often think about God’s idea of BECOMING one with my wife and realize that it is the best way to have a great marriage. God created marriage. He knows why the “one flesh” movement is a vital part of what drives a great marriage. It was an intentional move of God when He created Adam and then said, “it is not good for man to be alone.” It was an even more powerful creation when God brought Eve into the world by supernaturally forming her from the rib of Adam.
In my twenty years of marriage to Michelle, my goal in pleasing God is in pursuing Michelle with the idea of BECOMING one flesh with her. The reality is that God expects you and I as married people to work toward BECOMING one flesh. As I journey with Michelle into BECOMING one flesh, I have come to the profitable reality that it is just as it says in the Bible, BECOMING one flesh. It is not an overnight experience. It is a lifelong journey of working toward just that, BECOMING one flesh. The vivid reality is like reversing what God created for a great cause while obeying God for the sake of not only pleasing Him but also to experience that lasting peace and joy along the journey of marriage. God took Eve from Adam’s side and figuratively speaking, it is almost as if we must carefully and lovingly place our ‘Eves back inside of our Adams’ as we BECOME one flesh in obedience to the creator of marriage, God.
The absolute truth is that marriage does not work when obedience to God’s instructions are ignored. Just the same, BECOMING one flesh is hindered when certain obstacles are in the way. Here are five of them to avoid:
It is so easy to embrace separate schedules, cars, and events; often for good reasons. But dividing doesn’t always conquer. Watch out! Too much time apart, even doing good things, is an enemy of marital oneness. Ask yourself regularly: How many things can we do together in the next week?
Divergent hobbies and pastimes can lead to separation. Find at least one thing you both really enjoy and pursue it with each other. Michelle and I are fishing buddies and basketball rivals on the court. But we connect in that way as having similar interests. This helps to build our relationship to heights of fun while allowing for quality time to talk while we wait for a bite on our fishing lines. Expressing the desire to learn, explore and spend time together will make your spouse feel like number one.
It is not wrong for a husband to go on a fishing trip or for a wife to get away with some of her friends. But it shouldn’t be the substitute to vacationing and spending extended time together. Relaxing and sharing experiences as a couple promotes the marital oneness God designed.
SEPARATE BANK ACCOUNTS
Too many couples have separate bank accounts. It is not wrong for a husband and wife to grant each other an allowance, but an effective family budget needs a single operating account. Coordinating your finances and transparent spending will help oneness grow.
SEPARATE BEDS AND SEPARATE BEDTIMES
This is not just about sexual intimacy. Something powerful happens when a couple ends their day, as much as they are able, by going to bed at the same time. Bonding is reinforced when they lay their heads on the pillow. They can talk about the day, have a time of prayer and open up to one another.
Every example that can separate marriage is also a place where you can treat each other as number one. Commit to a promise to guard your ONENESS. If you make it your consistent priority, your marriage can be a happening one!
About The Author
Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies. He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God. Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image. Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.
Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife of twenty years, Michelle, are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a brand new radio talk show reaching as far south as Miami and as far north as Orlando. He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh. Carim is now on his third book, PURITY IN PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE. His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking. Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has lead him. Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family. He has been on various radio and TV stations in different parts of the country speaking and interviewing on the topic of marriage and family. He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart. His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image.
Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families. Visit his website for updates.
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