I think I am in love – Memoirs of An Illegal Alien Part 101

Nicola Roche had it all. She was beautiful.  She had great personality. She had a great body. She was very smart. She looked like a “mix” between Lisa Hanna the (last Jamaican to win Miss World) and actress Halle Berry. In fact she had entered Miss Jamaica and was the first runner up (2nd place).  She was 22 years old but was very mature. She knew what she wanted in life. She was wife material.  I kept thinking “Why did I not meet her before committing myself to the business marriage”?

We met when my mother sent a package from Jamaica for me with Nicola’s aunt. I drove to the house in Pembroke Pines to pick it up. Nicola was also there to pick up a package from Jamaica.

Nicola greeted me at the door. Our eyes met that first time and we both knew there was something. I could not describe the feeling but I knew I had to pursue it. I knew I was getting married in 5 months but the “spark” I felt was too strong I was helpless. Not since Angela (http://www.jamaicans.com/culture/illegal/illegalalien28.shtml) and Amber (http://www.jamaicans.com/culture/illegal/illegalalien86.shtml) I felt this way. There was a true connection as I looked in her eyes.

The very first time
That I saw your brown eyes
Your lips said “Hello”
And I said “Hi”
-    ”If I Ever Fall In Love” by Shai

She invited me inside and told me her Aunt was expecting me. She said her Aunt was in the kitchen and would be out soon.

I could not help but stare as she walked over to the living room beckoning me to come over and sit down. She had a figure that was hypnotic.

We started a conversation as I waited on her Aunt. I soon realized I could speak to her for hours. The conversation was easy and free flowing. It was not about the typical “we have a lot in common” but it was engaging and interesting. She was studying law at UM and lived in the dorms on campus. She was going to specialize in immigration and family law.

Usually I would not rush to pick up what my mother sends but it was bun and Jamaican tin cheese. I was yearning for it all through the Easter season. I was happy I came.

Her Aunt entered the room after about 20 minutes. She handed me a bag and started talking about the connection to my family.  I was zoned in to Nicola. I was not listening.

Then she asked if I wanted something to drink.

“Yes” I replied.

It would give me the opportunity to talk more to Nicola.

“Nicola, can you get a glass of lemonade?”

“Yes, Aunty”

I was feeling disappointed. I thought Aunty was going to get the drink and leave Nicola alone with me.

Her Aunt kept talking. This time I listened. She was going back to Jamaica in 3 days for a funeral. Nicola would be house-sitting for her those 3 days.

I got the information I needed.

Nicola handed me the lemonade. Our hands touched as she handed me the glass. Our eyes met. It was electricity.

I lingered for another 5 minutes to chit-chat never mentioning that I was getting married in 5 months.


I waited till day 4 of “Aunty’s” departure before visiting Nicola. It was a gated community and I gave my name. I was taking a risk. The last time my name was on the list. This time it was not.
The guard took my driver’s license and called the house. He looked at me intently as he spoke to someone on the phone.
She was not going to let me in, I thought to myself.

“Go ahead”

The gate lifted and I was in.

Nicola met me at the door.

“Good evening, how are you?” I greeted her with a big smile on her face.

“You know I should not let you in”, She had a serious look on her face.

“But you did!”  I replied with a smile.

“I was curious to know if you left something here” she replied.

I wanted to drop her a “line” and say “I left my heart there after meeting her”. It would be cheesy and she was not one of those regular “girls” that falls for “lines”.

“I know I should not be here but our conversation was engaging and interesting. I wanted to see if we could do it again.” I replied

She looked me in the eyes “I would never say this to a guy I just met but I agree. The conversation was engaging”

She liked me.

I wanted to jump for joy but had to maintain my composure.

We looked at each other and smiled.

We spoke that evening for a few hours. She was cooking dinner, Fricassee chicken (brown stew chicken). I had not had it in years. She offered me dinner which I did not refuse.

We were very comfortable around each other. Even though we were alone I did not try to make a move on her. It just did not feel right. I was enjoying her mind.

I left that evening with a phone number and her address at the dorms on the UM campus.


Nicola lived on campus at the University of Miami which was a distance from where I lived and worked. I joked with her and told her I would only visit weekends as it was a country drive.

We spoke every day. The conversations were long. We were developing a deep relationship. I was now struggling with how much I should tell her. Should I tell her about me my awkward “business marriage” situation?

She had opened up to me about her fight with bulimia when she was a model and her past relationships. She spoke about her parents who used to live in the Miami but moved back to live in Ocho Rios Jamaica. She spoke about how difficult it was to live in Miami without her parents.

Each time she told me something very personal about her life I felt I was holding back. I told her about my family but left out parts. I told her about my past relationships but left out parts. I told her I rented a room to an international student but nothing else. Then it happened.

It was 7 days since I had last seen her and I was anxious. I could not wait until our planned weekend date. I called her and told her I was coming down for a visit. At first she was reluctant as she was studying for a test but she surrendered. I think she was feeling the same way I was.

The drive down to University of Miami was hectic. There was a lot of traffic. I was impatient but knew there was a prize at the end.

We were going to meet outside her dorms at a park close by.  As I pulled up to the park I could see her sitting on a bench in the distance. My heart was racing.

I approached her and she turned around. She got up and hugged me. Then it happened.

Our lips met and we kissed. It was mind blowing. It sent chills up my spine. Then I knew. Everything was about to get complicated in my life. I think I am in love.