Funny But True: Croaking Lizards and Jamaicans

Want to bring a Jamaican to their knees. Just mention the word croaking lizards. The lizard, which of the gecko family is one of the most feared things in Jamaica and clear a room quicker than a 3-alarm fire. Do you remember all the things you used to hear about croaking lizards in Jamaica?

“Ef a croaking lizaz jump pon any part a yuh skin it gwen leave a skin mark.”  Translation: If a croaking lizard get on any part of your body it will leave an imprint on your skin.

“Aaakk, Aaaakk, aaak”

This lizard makes the most annoying sound at night & that has scared the “bedevil” out of Jamaicans and have created ore myths that you can count with fingers and toes. Shining a light won’t scare them because they are bold as a “bad dog”.

The croaking lizard has broken up more marriages than any mistress can. You see any good Jamaican woman will refuse to sleep in a house with a croaking lizard in it. Jamaican women feel it is a husband’s duty to kill the lizard. Not only beat the daylight out of the lizard but he must also show it to her as proof that it is dead and that he has an undying love for her.

Most true Jamaican man will refuse such a request. If a croaking lizard jump on a man or bites him it will truly affect his manhood (nature and sexual prowess) hence they would rather seek a separation or leave their wife. No one wants to supper such a faith.

I have had my own experiences with this croaking lizards and I think I have come out on the top. As a teenager, I had to wake up really early to go to school. Now there was a croaking lizard in the kitchen and I had to eat breakfast. Nothing stands between my breakfast and me. My routine in the morning before the croaking lizard took residence up in the kitchen was: wake up, take a shower, brush my teeth, put on my school uniform and then eat breakfast.

When the croaking lizard came on the scene and started to make the annoying but scary “acccking sound” I knew I had to change my routine to accommodate him. I had my life to live and no croaking lizard was going to stop this. My new routine became: wake up, walk to the kitchen, turn the light on (this did not deter him from continuing to make his “acccking sound”), throw my schools shoes in the direction I heard the sound and wait for him to stop then continue with my regular routine. This routine worked perfectly for about a year until a second croaking lizard showed up…

Photo source: 123rf