There is a very BIG picture surrounding every single marriage that we often times miss due to different situations and seasons. A time to be merry and bright often times turn sour from a lack of seeing that bigger picture. Our focus can easily get blocked by all the festivities surrounding Christmas. If not careful, husbands and wives go from peace and joy to a SILENT NIGHT and an UNHOLY FIGHT at Christmas time.
Song of Solomon 2:15 –“Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines.”
Little, seemingly insignificant things can cause grossly disproportionate damage to our marriage relationships and this does not have to happen. It is a time to enjoy and celebrate. CHRISTmas is about Christ’s birth. It is His birthday celebration, yet we often times get into a boxing match about different things surrounding the season. Arguments and disagreements are almost unavoidable at this time of year.
There is a solution. There is a good way to deal with differences and disagreements to still enjoy each other as married couple at Christmas time. Amid the unnecessary chaos, Christmas can be a merry time together. The jingling of the bells can be a sweet sound. The night can be Holy with calmness and you both can sleep in Heavenly peace, even in the middle of the disagreements and chaos. The only way to achieve this is to FIGHT FAIR. Here are four ways to fight fair and still enjoy Christmas together….
Lower Your Expectations
Yes, it is Christmas and we all exchange gifts and expect gifts. But do not sweat the small stuff. The thought that counts can be drowned out when your expectation is taller than the Christmas tree. Remember the real reason for the season.
Discuss The Spending
Togetherness is still expected even at Christmas time. You are still ONE FLESH. Do a budget together to fully see what can be spent on gifts and stick with it together. It is better to plan and not be able to buy than to buy without planning and have a bigger problem with finances later on. It affects you both.
Come To A Fair Family Compromise
“I do not like your in laws” is not a great way to avoid going to extended family for Christmas. Your thoughts about your spouse’s mom or dad may be true but expression of your thoughts must be in love. Share your feelings about this issue with each other but do not allow this to determine your relationship. It is better to stay at home together than to blow up at the in laws. Your relationship with your spouse is more important than with your mom, dad, sister, brother, and any other extended family. If you decide to visit family you know will be unpleasant, make sure to agree on a compromise.
Celebrate The Real Reason For Christmas Together
In the middle of the disagreements over gifts, money spending, family visits, and the whole celebration, remember the ultimate reason for the season and keep your focus on this. Christmas is a time to “BIG UP” the birth of Christ. He is the one keeping you together. Without Him, your marriage and family will not experience joy (Jesus Only You).
Enjoy your time together with family, especially at Christmas. It is a time to be merry and happy. Do not allow the small stuff to outweigh your vision of the BIG picture. When all is said and done and the celebration ends, you are still husband and wife and have to continue your journey of marriage together. Put Jesus first and each other second in your lives and watch you have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS. This is the prayer Michelle and I pray over every couple reading this article and over each other. Huddle up and enjoy this special season of Christmas together.
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