Advice & Help

The One You Marry is Affected by the Spirit You Carry…Two Ways

One of the most popular commands heard by a child growing up is “BEHAVE YOURSELF.”  In years back even a stranger who is an adult would tell a misbehaving child “BEHAVE YOURSELF.”  Good behavior was a big ticket in my childhood days.  At the same time adults faced a big challenge in displaying that good behavior as a teaching tool for children.  Children are like sponges and tend to quickly soak up whatever they see more than what they are told.  Parents face the harsh reality that it is hypocrisy to tell a child not to do wrong when they do wrong, or not to curse when they curse.   Why does this happen?  What makes an adult lash out in words and actions in such a bad way so easily?  Why do children follow along that same pathway?  How can husbands and wives prevent this wicked curse of generations from reaching their children and children’s children?  What’s the solution to stopping this evil domino effect?

When Michelle and I got married we were not aware of the real cause of our many fights that sometimes led to nights of darkness and days of displeasure.  We did not understand the force behind our words and actions toward each other.  Yes we had great days and nights but many dark clouds hung over our marriage relationship.  The temperature in the room was often uncomfortable and we blamed each other out of a lack of knowledge, or should I say a blindness to the reality of the cause.  Had we been able to remove the blinders we would have seen what the solution was.  We could have prevented so many times of malice that brought poison to our relationship.  We would have gotten rid of the one behind all the mess and invited the ONE that now brings out our best.  Thank God we learned this although in later years of marriage.  You can avoid so much negatives in your marriage relationship and enjoy each other the way God intends for you to but only when you allow either of these two to lead you into the way you BEHAVE YOURSELF:

Led by the Spirit of the Creator of Marriage

When you board a flight you want to see a pilot, not a carpenter flying the plane right?  Just the same when you purchase disassembled furniture, you follow the manual that comes with it, not from a menu used to cook an exotic meal.  If only a man and a woman would follow marriage creator’s manual, THE BIBLE, would marriages thrive with love, joy, peace and harmony.   A husband who allows the Spirit of God to lead and guide him living with a wife who also gives way to the Spirit of God to control her life, through following the instructions from God on marriage, experience nothing less than a MARRIAGE MADE IN HEAVEN.

God himself created marriage and nobody else.  God alone knows how marriage should be lived with love and respect to bring out the best in the relationship.  Do you want to have a joyful marriage that last forever?  Read the instructions from God’s word on marriage from the Bible and do your best to live it out as husband and wife.  The Holy Spirit is your guide to a great marriage.  An unbalanced marriage is usually a sign of either a husband or a wife’s refusal to follow the instructions on marriage by living marriage their own way.

Led by the Spirit of the Destroyer of Marriage

There is the One that only comes to KILL, STEAL AND DESTROY marriages (John 10:10).  Sometimes we do not realize the fact that we are being led by the spirit of the evil one, Satan.  When Michelle and I would get into arguments there are times we would lash out at each other with harsh words or go through periods of not speaking to each other.  These behaviors are influenced by the devil and we fall for it at times.  Michelle and I have come to learn not to follow the voice of satan to have peace, love, joy and harmony in our marriage relationship.

The spirit of God will NEVER lead you to be unloving toward your wife or to be disrespectful toward your husband.  The spirit of Satan himself would be the culprit.  Satan HATES marriages and LOVES divorce.  This is why at times one spouse is heated and the other is calm.  One is following the leading of the devil and the other is following the leading of the Spirit of God.  This further explains how both spouses being led by God’s Spirit often times have greater times in their marriage relationships, while others experience a journey of constant turmoil in their relationships which typically leads to divorce.

It is of great benefit to follow the Bible’s instructions on living in marriage because it is the only instruction to guide every married couple along this mysterious, yet rewarding journey of marriage.  It is of even greater benefit when both husband and wife accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.  Marriage is created to be like a three strand cord, not easily broken, with God, Husband and Wife.  It was never intended to be lived out without the Spirit of God’s instructions.  Spouses who allow God’s Spirit to guide their relationship will treat each other with real love and respect, the two keys to a healthy marriage that last.  To the contrary, spouses who follow the guidance of the devil, giving into his subtle bait, will not treat each other with the love and respect needed to have a great marriage.  Instead, they experience a marriage that is unfortunately destructive and usually leads to divorce.

Michelle and I are constantly praying for married couples that they will choose to follow the spirit of God to have a marriage made in the image of God.  God created marriage to glorify Him while allowing both husband and wife to  enjoy each other.   The spirit you choose to carry affects the one you marry.  Choose Christ.

About The Author

Carim Hyatt

Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies.  He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God.  Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image.  Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.

Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife Michelle, are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a radio talk show reaching all over the world.   He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh.  Carim’s third book, PURITY IN PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE is soon to be released.  His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking.  Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has led him.  Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family.  He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart.  His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image

Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families.

Read all our marriage articles on

Visit the Marriage Vantage Point website for great resources to help you and your spouse.

Listen to our weekly podcasts.

Photo – Deposit Photos

About the author

Carim Hyatt