Jamaican and Foreign – Patois Translation

Wat a gwann mi frens, mi is on di war path, dis time arround han mi jus waan fi get som ting hawfa mi chess. Nung yu all know me is a bawn Jamaican, living in Jamaica and wurking in Jamaica. Dat mek mi…pure Jamaican. It like wen smaddy seh somting bad bout one memba af yu fambily, yu feel cut up bout di ole ting. Yu vex cause yu prefer if dem neva say it, it worse wen yu know seh is nat true. Yu jus waan club di person har mek dem know where fi com aaf. Many Jamaicans leave ere and gone tu live in a fareingn country, Som bawn ya han leave ya fram dem ina dem young age han adders leave ya ina dem prime. It bun mi fi ere dem a lick dem chess bout “mi, mi naa goh back deh, all a di new weh me ere and read bout ina di news paper mi naa even put fi mi fut bak pan dat deh soil deh”, som elivate soh high dem nung above di Caribbean sea soh till tem caan si di lan from which dem originate. som a dem siddung pan dem you know where han tek news fram ill-infarmed people and nung know di true story fi dem self. Shame on yu all, we living ere han wid all weh a gwaan mi naa lef ya.

God neva pramise wi a bed a roses, im nevea tell any baddy dat life ould bi smoode, as di Jamaican saying goes, “why mus di Lawd alone bear di cross han all di wurl goes free” mi sure where som a unu deh nuff prablem a tek unu han unu ouldda waan com ome tu unu fambily han cool out fi a while especially ow unu noh si dem fi a lang time. Crime ar deviance dem seh is a necessary paat af all societies, dat is nat my tiory it is dat af di “functionalist” My pint is dat yard nice jus like unu leff it, likkle deviance is a mus and it all oova di wurl expecially where unu liv.Tek a trip pan di plane an fine out fi unu self wat di place is like nung dan wen unu lef it. News media have dem own agenda dem suppose fi mek tings luk bad, especially fram a country weh a gi dem nuff competition.

Also, me is very disgruntled bout di fac dat Jamaicans cannot travel widdout harrassment and people tek wi fi fule. Nuff can bi said pan both pints, as wi lan a one airport and tek out wi Jamaican passport (dis is chubble, fram di lan of weed and water)di custams afficers dem si red, di fus ting dat com tu dem mine is dat “si one ole jugs man ya, im mus ave jugs pan im someweh mek wi search im, a Jamaica im a com fram” Well mi deh ere fi tell unu dat is nat all Jamaicans ave a get rich quick mentality..mowse af our people are hard wurking hanest people. Jamaicans are innovative and know ow if “tun dem han mek fashion” Soh all af di people dem roune di wurld dat is frying all Jamaicans in di same fat, cut it out, stap it, it noh good. Wi a smaddy pickney tu!.

Ow di fule fule ting come in is dat, wi ave one programme weh com pan TV wid one af wi mose praminent local comedian. She was infarming we Jamaicans dat people a fareign a com dung ere and tek wi fi fule as dem have di idea dat di ole a wi is a deprived set and wi all dung ya a suffa. Well, since a don’t want tu seem fasty han rude, mek mi pint out fram nung bifore it appen again, wi noh fule fule, as least nat all a wi. Di story is dat, som people com dung ya fi flim paat a one movie, dem di waant a few local people fi bi ina it soh dem caal up di natives and gi dem all tweny dalla US$20.00, it was reported and kip dem out ina di sun fi di ole day han di ongle compensation was twenty dalla $20.00. It was reported dat one af di movie people dem mek a comment dat wi should be tankful..yu heva ere anyting goh soh yet?…dem wrenk een.

All in all tu mee and mi sure nuff more Jamaicans, noweh noh better dan yaad, noweh noh betta dan yaad oh no. Comfat is tu bi found ere, even nuff farigners will agree. It nice dung ere..come tek a trip, cool out yu ed and nuff watch nutten bi proud af where yu com fram it is where yu learn mose af di values yu ave, one ting mi noe seh people can seh wid confidence is ” dem manasable een” More time, walk gud mi frens.

Jamaican and Foreign – Standard English Translation

What’s happening my friends, I am on the war path this time arround and I just want to get some things cleared up here. You all know by now that I am a born Jamaican, living in Jamaica, working and going to University in Jamaica. That makes me, pure Jamaican. So if someone says something bad about Jamaica, naturally, I will be upset. It is like someone saying something about a member of your family, you are upset about the comment and would rather if they had not said it. Its even harder to accept when you know there is no truth in it, and you may feel like telling the person just where to come off. Many Jamaicans have left here and are living in foreign countries for many years now. Some left when they were young, others when they were not so young. It hurt to hear these Jamaicans talk about never coming back home, because they have taken information from ill-informed persons, and refuse to find out the true story for themselves. They say things like, “I’ll never go back to that place, all the news I have heard and read about in newspapers, the place is not safe. I’ll never set foot on that soil again!” Some of these people have elevated themselves so far above the Caribbean Sea that they are unbale to see the land from which they originate. Shame on you!, we are living here, some of your families are living here, and with all that is going on, we will never leave here to live elsewhere for any permanent period.

God never promised us a bed of roses, He never promised us that life would always be smooth, as the Jamaican saying goes “why must the Lord alone bear the cross and all the world go free” I’m sure where some of you Jamaicanforeigners live is not problem free and you would like to come home to your families to cool out for a while and see the family with whom you have not seen for years. Crime or deviance, it is said, is a necessary part of all societies. This is not my theory, but that of the “functionalist” (functionalist are theorists who belive that the various parts of society are seen to be interrelated and taken together, they form a complete system). My point here is that, back home in Jamaica is just has lovely as you had left it, like all other societies, crime or deviance is a part of it. News and the media have their motives, they have a right to their opinions (after all we all prize democracy) after all it is their business to make things look bad on the competition.

My next grouse is with customers officers all over the world. I am very disgruntled about the fact that Jamaicans cannot travel without being harressed and taken to be stupid. The minute we land at the airport of some countries, bearing a Jamaican passport automatically changes our status from, the land of wood and water to the land of weed and water. Having a Jamaican passport its like waving a red flag in front of a bull, ( this is trouble, the customer must be saying in their minds, what do we have here, some drugs pusher, lets check them out for drugs). Well I am here to tell you that most Jamaicans are hard working people, not all of us have the get rich quick mentality. Most Jamaicans, innovative, and knows how to adjust in any environment, they excell in the most unlikely situations. So all the people around the world who have the tendency to view all Jamaicans in the same light, thats wrong !, it should be stopped, its not a good thin. After all we are somebody’s child too. How would you like the same treatment to be metered out to your own countrymen.

Finally, there are those who have the wrong concept about Jamaicans. They come to our Island and think that we are stupid and that we are a deprived people. There is a programme which comes on TV hosted by a prominent Jamaican comedian. She was informing us of a couple of situations where some foreigners came to our shores down on the North Coast and was making a film. Now we don’t want to seem ungrateful or at worst rude, but we are not stupid. These people came to our shores and wanted to hire some local talent. In the first instance they wanted some children to be in their movie, they went ahead a got some children for their movies and had the nerve to have them out on location for the entire day and in the end only offering them US$20.00, now tell me, the nerve of those people, offering these people $20.00. Secondly, on another occasion, they wanted to use some local musicians in their film, they went ahead, contracted the musicians and then were offering the whole band US150.00 to bring their instruments out on the water and for their time and effort. Can you imagine the nerve of these people, the musicians turned them down flat. Well, judge for yourself, are we fule fule or what?

All in all, and I am sure many Jamaicans would agree, nowhere is better than home, things may be hard sometimes, but comfort can be found here at home, even some foreigners will agree. Its lovely down here, come, take a trip to Jamaica, come on down and cool out, lots of Jamaicans living abroad know the values with which we were all grown up on. One thing I know, people can say anything about us, but they can sure say with confidence that we have manners. More time, walk good my friends!