Advice & Help

Fifteen Reasons Love Is NOT Automatic

This word LOVE has to be the most spoken of all in marriage relationships.  It sounds so pretty.  When it is said it touches the heart and if not careful causes it to melt like butter.  Many say it with great ease because it has become the word that holds the world record as being the most beautiful sounding.  “I LOVE YOU” carries so much weight when it comes out of the mouth.

Tom had a fight with Ruth on their anniversary night and “I LOVE YOU” ended the fight quickly.  Little did Ruth know that Tom said it only to make up.  Ruth felt her emotions swing from bad to good for that moment but went home and started thinking about the words and started questioning in her mind, “what is love really?” Ruth had all right to question it and so do many husbands and wives.  Michelle and I quickly learned the reality of the phrase, “MOUTH CAN SAY ANYTHING.”

“LET US NOT LOVE WITH WORDS OR SPEECH BUT WITH ACTION AND IN TRUTH” 1 John 3:18.  The creator of marriage tells us this truth because he knows that mouth can say anything and your spouse may believe it even when it is not shown.  The reality is that Love is NOT Automatic and it can be proven.  Here are fifteen solid reasons…..

Patience Needs Help

Love is patient.  You will never be patient without SHOWING patience.  Saying you are patient cannot be seen unless you actually are patient with your spouse.

Kindness Has To Be Displayed

Your marriage will not last without you showing kindness to your spouse.  Kindness does not happen unless you CHOOSE to be king to your spouse.

Envy Comes Naturally

Love does NOT envy.  It’s easy to envy your spouse but intentional to be happy for your spouse’s accomplishments.

Show-Off Brings Disgrace

Bragging rights has no place in marriage relationships.  You are a team that breaks down when one spouse boasts to downplay the other, bringing disgrace to the marriage relationship.  Be intentional to REMAIN humble.

Pride Comes Before Destruction

If you want to destroy your marriage, pride is the way to go and it is not a hard accomplishment.  If you wish to save your marriage you must be PURPOSEFUL to drop the pride and say you are sorry to your spouse at times and mean it from your heart.  Love is not proud.

Dishonor Is a Dagger

A loving spouse REFUSES to dishonor the other spouse with harsh or degrading words.  The challenge is to be slow to speak and quick to listen and this is not an automatic accomplishment.  It takes intentionality to shut up and listen more.  Learn and master this move and watch your communication excel.

Self Must Die

It’s a tendency to think SELF but marriage is not about you as much as it is about your spouse.  Love is not self-seeking and does not happen automatically.  When both husband and wife train their minds to focus on each other and not self both love tanks get filled.

Anger Is A Quick One

Love is NOT easily angered.  Anger must be trained to become joyful.  Joy is chosen and shown while anger spills out with no help whatsoever.  A joyful spouse is the catalyst to a joyful marriage relationship.

The Record Keeping Spouse

Pain and hurt are long-lasting but does not have to be dictating.  It is normal to keep track of the pain and hurt that takes away the peace and joy in your marriage but it beneficial to decide to forgive despite the pain and hurt considering you may have inflicted pain and hurt also.  Forgiveness is key to a great marriage but has to be DONE not just said.

Evil Exchanged For Truth

Love hates evil but delights in truth.  The sad truth is that there is a natural intention of every heart to do evil but when both husband and wife commit to the DECISION to love what is good and hate evil, the marriage relationship thrives.  Decide to do good and love it.

Back To Back Is Necessary 

Love always protects.  BEING your spouse’s protector is a marriage job.  It is critical piece of the mystery of marriage and takes intentional work to always protect your spouse’s privacy, heart, mind and soul.

No Fear In Love

Love always trust…..the creator of marriage that is!  Believing in God is good but believing God for your marriage to be better is like a marriage made in Heaven.  Perfect love casts out fear of a failing marriage.  Love is perfect when you trust God while DOING your part in the marriage and not worry about the other spouse’s role.  God will take care of your spouse.

Hopeful Always

Love ALWAYS hopes.  It is not easy to keep hope alive when things seem dim in your relationship.  But it is a choice you will have to MAKE for the sake of your marriage journey.  Never settle in thoughts that your marriage cannot be better because it can always be better.

Perseverance Is Earned  

The decision to exercise the STAYING POWER is the conduit to STAYING MARRIED BECOMING ONE FLESH.  No marriage is perfect but all marriages can grow into beauty.

Unfailing Love

True winners FIGHT together as a team and never give up until victory is accomplished.  It starts with knowing you are not THE ONE but you BECOME THE ONE along the marriage journey knowing that true love never fails.

It is never too late to start showing love.  Your actions speak loudly to your spouse.  Let your spouse know you love them by acting on those fifteen truths above and watch your marriage drastically change for the better.  When both spouses decide to show love nothing can come between the glue that holds them together.  Michelle and I continue to pray for and encourage each couple along their marriage journey to becoming ONE FLESH.

About The Author

Carim Hyatt

Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies.  He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God.  Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image.  Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.

Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife Michelle, are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a radio talk show reaching all over the world.   He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh.  Carim’s third book, PURITY IN PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE is soon to be released.  His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking.  Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has led him.  Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family.  He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart.  His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image

Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families.

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About the author

Carim Hyatt