Advice & Help

Don’t mek yu lef han know wha yu right han a do

“Don’t mek yu lef han know wha yu right han a do”. How often have we heard this from well intentioned friends and family. Yet this could be problematic in a committed, trusting relationship. Should a wife or husband keep secrets from their partner? If so is that really a Partnership, when things aren’t out in the open and Equal? Does saving for a rainy day, “just in case someting happen”, suggest that things won’t last? And is that a bad thing? I mean, the divorce rate is 60% in these not-forever-united States, shouldn’t we be a little proactive and set something aside for ourselves?

Many couples choose to have a joint account for household expenses and then each have separate accounts for individual savings. When there is a mutual goal for which they are saving, say to buy a new home, the joint account also serves this function. For some, it is difficult to have a conversation about money whether it’s due to a disparity in wages (maybe she earns more than he does, O Lord dat is a whoal adder story) or due to the spending habits and credit history of one partner. Whatever the reason is, it needs to be overcome and the dialogue must begin to avoid future problems. What’s wrong with your husband knowing that you have a little savings set aside? Does he have to know the amount? That’s something you both need to talk about also. I know of couples who file taxes separately just so income can be kept secret-the left hand really doan know a ting bout the right han!

Write in and let us know how you negotiate issues related to money in your relationship. What has worked and where have there been some challenges.

About the author

Karlene T