One cannot help but wonder how two people of the opposite sex, with totally opposite ways, from different backgrounds, and having different expectations of each other, can last a lifetime in marriage. Whenever I hear of a couple married for thirty, forty or even fifty years, I myself would wonder at times, how do they do it? Then I came to the realization that they cannot “do it.” God “does it!” Yes, God, the creator of marriage, has the key to STAYING MARRIED that any couple can use to open the door to a lifelong commitment. The reality is that in our own strength and with our own selfish wills we cannot last even for a short time in our marriage. We need the guidance from God and when we obey his leading we cannot go wrong in our marriage.
When I first met Michelle, I never imagined we would be where we are now with twenty years of marriage and going. Michelle is highly extroverted and has always been. This is her built in DNA. I am highly introverted. Once we met and dated I remember thinking, “why is she so outgoing?” I seriously had a problem understanding and accepting that this was just the way she is. It was light a light bulb went off in my brain when I finally came to realize that God made us different with the intention to join us into “ONE FLESH” but only if we stay the course of STAYING MARRIED. We now have a wonderful fourteen year old son, Tyler, a gift from God. We now lead marriage lifegroups in our local church. God has used us in the area of marriage on local television interviews. We currently host a radio program, MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, on a major FM Channel reaching a wide range of listeners all over Florida. God has led me to author books on marriage with the support of my wife. Do you see why the light bulb had to go off? Do you understand that there is a plan and purpose for every married couple willing to allow God to lead their marriage?
Many today go through that same challenge in their relationships. I have heard the phrase, “I want to marry the right person” or “he or she is not the right one.” Yes, the choice of who you marry to spend life with is very important and makes one choose with caution but the reality is, there is no right one. We all have different ways, different thoughts, different attitudes and even different beliefs. We are just all different. No two are the same. I had to come to the hard realization that God made everyone unique. This is why God said, “the two shall become one flesh in marriage.” It is impossible to become one flesh when one decides to walk away from the marriage without good reason. In today’s society divorce seem to be the “in thing.” It appears to be the new DEMON taking over the world, and even the church for that matter. The rate of divorce has reached a dangerous high. The spirit of deception has ran rampant and the enemy, satan, is having a field day whispering in the ears of many spouses today. God said, “what He has joined together, let no man separate” yet many still manage to help the devil in breaking up the Holy union God has joined together. As a matter of fact, it has gotten to a point where many married couples have allowed deception to creep into their hearts, leading them to blindness of the fact that it is of much greater benefit to STAY MARRIED than to throw in the towel to divorce. Here are four benefits of STAYING MARRIED….
GOD ENCOURAGES IT
Simply put, a perfect God has created marriage to be for life between man and woman and knows why He commands us to stay married. The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18). God encourages marriage to bring glory to Himself for what He created but also because He knows that we need someone of the opposite sex in our lives to help us bring Him the glory He deserves. There is something more powerful when two, man and woman, come together to bring out the beauty of God’s creation of marriage. Every man and woman want the enjoyment of sexual intimacy but not every man or woman exercise the will to remain in marriage to experience that enjoyment. God give full permission to enjoy each other in marriage not outside of marriage, which is why He encourages couples to remain in marriage and stays right with us on our journey in marriage, giving us the greenlight of wisdom and direction, if only we would follow his perfected guidance.
DIVORCE POISONS THE KIDS
97% of kids using drugs, dropping out of school early, running away from home, or even commiting suicide, are from homes and families torn apart by divorce. This is a very harsh reality. God designed marriage and family to be just that, “marriage and family.” I personally experienced life growing up without a dad, and although he finally met my dad at age 35, I was blessed to have grandparents and thank God for them or I may have been a part of the statistics above. Marriage was created for husband and wife to experience the joy and peace that comes with it but also for the kids that we choose to bring into the family to also enjoy that peace and joy. The domino effect of a generational curse is at a high rate today and there is no need for this. The kid who learns that it is okay for mom to be the only one in the family and does not see a dad typically carries that same deceiving behavior into his or her own family. The idea is to do everything possible to keep the marriage God’s way to prevent divorce that surely will affect the child.
OBEDIENCE LEADS TO A BLESSED LIFE
God said, “I hate divorce.” (Malachi 2:16). For good reason God hates when a marriage ends in divorce and although there are circumstances like adultery and abuse that are extremes that should not be tolerated in marriage, God commands every married couple to do all they can to remain in marriage. When a spouse decides to walk away from the marriage for reasons other than those mentioned above, they violate the commitment not only made to the other spouse, but more importantly, to God. Hating what God hates must be the “motto” for every married couple in order to experience a blessed life and marriage. To the contrary, disobeying God’s command to remain in marriage really only drives away the blessing that God has for us in our marriage. Do you wish for peace and joy in your life? The answer is obedience to God in remaining in your marriage relationship unless you are experiencing the extreme situations affecting marriage. God would never ask a spouse to remain in an abusive relationship but he is asking every spouse to remain in a relationship that is weathering storms of conflicts, trials, or attacks from the enemy because He is right there with every spouse who is willing to let Him handle these trials, conflicts and attacks. Why? He is perfect at handling any situation in our marriages that seem impossible. All we have to do is let go and let Him do what He does best while we relax and have peace.
THE BEST IS YET TO COME
“But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31). This is a promise from God for every married couple willing to wait in prayer for a change in their situation in their marriage. THE BEST IS YET TO COME in your marriage but only if you wait and stand together to see it. The sad part is that many do not wait and trust God to see their best. We cannot see tomorrow and sometimes give up on our marriages right when we were about to experience a breakthrough of healing in the relationship. Yes we get broken down in strength and feel like giving up at times but if we do not wait we may never see what God has for us as married couples.
Be encouraged in your marriage knowing that God is right their with you both. Think about the consequences of divorce and let the truth of what God promises for every marriage allow you to not give up. There is no perfect you just as there is no perfect me. We all have flaws. We all need that manual for our marriage, the word of God. Leaving the marriage thinking there is better out there is the biggest deception from the enemy, satan. God created marriage and His guidance, if followed, is the way to a beautiful, long lasting marriage of a lifetime.
About The Author
Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies. He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God. Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image. Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.
Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife of twenty years, Michelle, are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a brand new radio talk show reaching as far south as Miami and as far north as Orlando. He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh. Carim is now on his third book, PURITY IN PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE. His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking. Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has lead him. Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family. He has been on various radio and TV stations in different parts of the country speaking and interviewing on the topic of marriage and family. He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart. His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image.
Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families. Visit his website for updates.
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