An architect is one of the most valued and highly demanded individual when it comes to designing a safely built house. Just the same, a car manufacturer will not allow a vehicle to go on the road without proper safety measures to prevent a disaster that may lead to death. The truth is, life cannot be lived to its fullest without a “lamp onto our feet or a light unto our path” (Psalm 119:105). (synonyms for lamp or light: from google: torch · flashlight · headlight · headlamp · sidelight · standard lamp · wall light · street light · floodlight · lantern · candle · taper · beacon).
The sad truth is, many try to do life without proper guidance and sadly end up failing in their endeavors. The greater truth is, marriage is a part of life, yet some live it out without following proper guidance and end up failing in their relational endeavors. The great thing is, this does not have to happen. God did not create marriages to fail. Marriage was created to be life. A husband and wife were joined together to become “ONE FLESH” but satan always subtly try to tear down, kill, steal and destroy what God builds, and does it through man and woman who fail to realize that they are living in marriage without following the proper guidance from the creator of marriage. There are must do’s for every marriage to work that satan will deceptively twist to look like must don’ts. This deception started in the Garden with Adam and Eve and still continues today like a domino effect. These four must do’s are essential in eliminating the Adam and Eve mentality and for any marriage to work:
ACCEPT CHRIST AND LIVE
Growing up in a Christian home and seeing my grandmother and grandfather model a radical Christian life leading to a radical Christlike marriage has proven to me that marriage will work when both husband and wife are living for Christ. Any other life outside of living for God creates a “seesaw type of marriage” when one spouse is a believer and the other is not.
When one spouse has the lamp and light and the other does not, there tend to be chaos and disorder in the marriage through constant spiritual warfare. It’s like light against darkness.
Worse, when both spouses attempt to live a life in marriage outside of Christ, it is like the blind leading the blind. Both are in the dark and are bound to bump into each other creating constant friction and tension in the marriage. The answer is for both to accept Christ and live a Godly marriage that will last forever.
FOLLOW GOD’S ORDERS
God did not create people and leave them to figure out life. He is not pacing back and forth around His throne wondering what to do next to fix marriages. Everything was wisely figured out and put into place even before God created man. There is a divine order of life given to all people, to all married couples, that if followed leads to a successful life and marriage. This is God’s divine order:
- Church (ministry)
Mix these up and you have major problems. A healthy and fulfilling marriage is an intentional marriage- a marriage where both husband and wife prioritize their relationship before all others, including their kids, their extended family, friends, work, and ministry. It is that plain like it or not. It is the order of the creator of marriage and if not followed the marriage will not work.
In speaking with married couples, there is this one thing evidently rooted deep inside of hearts and minds that if not changed is bound to destroy marriages. It usually comes out of a selfish heart when things are not going so well in the marriage. It reverses the very intention God has for marriage to work……it is “demanding love or else.” There is danger in showing love only if love is shown to you. Love is not real when it is shown with conditions. Real love is unconditional. If God made love to have conditions, God himself would have to withhold his love from us, as unloving as we are toward Him. The truth is, when a husband loves his wife unconditionally and a wife shows respect to her husband out of obedience to God, the marriage has a healthy balance and works. The reverse spells disaster when one refuses to show love because of a lack of respect or refuses to respect because of a lack of love. True love shows love even when not feeling like showing love, just as true respect is shown even when the feeling is not there to show respect. When the husband loves his wife out of obedience to God without fear of not being respected and the wife respects her husband out of full reverence for God without fear of not receiving love, marriage works. The absolute truth is, no married couple shows love and respect every single day, hour, minute or second of any day or night. Love and respect are intentional even when the feeling to be intentional is not there for the marriage to work. When both carry out their role without conditions the marriage is beautiful.
KEEP THE HONEYMOON GOING
I saw a billboard sign that read, “THE WEDDING WAS GREAT, BUT INVITE ME TO THE MARRIAGE….GOD!” The moment leading up to the wedding is always exciting and so is dating prior to getting married. The anticipation of getting married and heading off to some far away resort is the best feeling for every couple joining in Holy Matrimony. The reality of life tends to take couples by surprise years after the honeymoon phase somehow disappears. The harsh reality though, is it usually doesn’t disappear on its own. A healthy marriage stays healthy when couples set intentional time away from busy schedules, kids, extended family, cellphones, tablets, computers and all distractions, to spend quality time together. A garden of beauty cannot stay beautiful without it being watered regularly. A marriage cannot remain joyful and healthy without intentional dating. With life’s business dating will suffer without intentional planning to date. The key for every marriage to work is to plan to date and keep the plan as much as possible. Your marriage deserves the joy, peace, love, harmony and health that God intends for it to have. You deserve a great marriage and it takes both of you to make it work. You can do it!
About The Author
Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies. He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God. Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image. Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.
Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife of twenty years, Michelle, are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE AIRS ON Omega Radio Broadcasting Network every Saturday at 3:30 pm ET….101.9FM, 102.3FM or 103.9FM covering as far South as Miami Dade County and as far North as New York. Listen from ANYWHERE by free mobile app….W.O.I.B. as Carim and his wife MARRIAGE.
He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh. Carim is now on his third book, PURITY IN PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE. His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking. Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has lead him. Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family. He has been on various radio and TV stations in different parts of the country speaking and interviewing on the topic of marriage and family. He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart. His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image.
Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families. Visit his website, Facebook page, and the MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE Facebook page for updates.