Culture Memoirs of An Illegal Alien

Alone, Scared and Betrayed – Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 79

I was lonely. Sue was back in Jamaica. In the last few months before she left we had gotten very close. I think part of it was that we knew it would be a while before we would see each other again. The first week she left she called and we spoke for an hour the first month. It was cheaper for her to call from Jamaica than me calling her from Miami. She loved being back in Jamaica. My mother spoiled her rotten and her job at one of the investment & consulting firms was great. She and Kerri, our younger sister, were bonding again. They were making up for 5 years lost time.

One thing that bothered Sue about being back home was the inconveniences of getting things done. Spending Friday’s at the bank to get transactions done was her biggest issue. She told me a story about how she tried to show an older co-worker how to do something easier but she refused, because she did not want to be “told” how to do things. Eventually she changed but she declared she came to it on her own revelation. She was stuck in her old ways and she said that is what Jamaica was. It was frustrating for her but the little luxuries of having a helper and being taken care of at home made up for it. She had “linked” up back with many of her old friends from high school who had never left Jamaica. A few were married with children. They were stay at home moms since their husbands made very good money. Most of them were living comfortably as they were “uptowners”. Living abroad and coming back home had benefits and she was becoming popular in the uptown inner society circle. It seemed living abroad gave her some credibility she never had if she stayed in Jamaica. Her Master’s degree from America was more prized than the UWI degree many Jamaicans had. She was actually rethinking going to Canada the first month she was there. That indecision was quickly changed by my father.

Now that he was well again he was up to his old tricks. It was a little different this time. He and his friends were now visiting Cuba once a month. They claimed to be looking at business opportunities and smoking Cuban cigars. Everyone in Jamaica knew that Cuba was the new place for old men to get young girls with little or no money spent.  Air Jamaica was one of the few airlines that flew into Cuba 3 times a week. They would spend weekends there. Sue said he would come back with a glowing face.

 Sue said he would tell our mother how he visited with the doctor who operated on him. She would send a potato pudding the helper made for the doctor each time my father visited. She also sent items for some friends they met while my father was in Cuba for his operation and recovery.  She was always sending toiletries for her Cuban friends.

Sue has no evidence that our father was cheating but it was just known in the uptown society circles that this is what Jamaican men are doing when they visit Cuba. Sue said she heard of one case a prominent man brought his Cuban girlfriend over to work in his house as a helper right under his wife’s nose.

She wanted to say something to Mommy but could not. She was sure she knew and tolerated it.


I was not only lonely because I broke up with Elena. I was confused as Elena tried to  destroy my friendship with Steven.

I remember the day I broke up with Elena because her reaction was not what I expected and the aftermath was more than I expected.

“I think we need a break. This relationship is not working” I said to Elena over the phone one evening. I did not have the courage to break up with her face to face. I did not want to see her crying and getting emotion. A woman crying is my kryptonite. My first instinct when I see a woman crying is to try and fix it.

“Sure, I agree with you. I have been thinking the same thing too”, she replied in a “matters a fact” way.

It was not the reaction I was expecting. It caught me off guard, but it was a good thing.

I hung up the phone relieved at how well that went. I was stressed about the whole situation and this outcome was perfect.  I fell asleep that night with a weight off my head.

I was sleeping like a baby when I felt a tug on my shorts. It was still dark. I start to jump up.

“Just relax baby, it’s me”, said Elena.

My mind said no but my body said yes. When it was over I was in a daze. She was sleeping on my chest and I was staring at the ceiling. My mind was racing.

I thought we just broke up yesterday? How did she get into the apartment? How could I allow this to happen? Now I have given her hope?

I had to put my foot down. Now it was going to be face to face.

Elena was in deep sleep. I pulled my body from under her and went to the kitchen. I was thirsty. It was 6:30 am and the darkness was lifting.

As I turned from getting the water out the fridge I almost jumped out my clothes with fright. Elena was behind me.

“Good Morning” she said with a big smile on her face. She was naked.

I did not respond. I just stared at her.

“Are you upset with me baby” she asked.

“I thought we broke up yesterday” I asked getting straight to the point.

“We did” she said with a smile, “I came back to get my stuff and saw you laying there and could not resist”

She had a big smile on your face. Was I to assume that this means that this was it? The big smile on her face did not seem to mean that. I had to say it.

“This is it. We need a break” I stated

“Sure, I am here for my stuff. Let me get it and leave” she started to go to my room.

“How did you get in” I asked.

“I took Sue’s key out the drawer in the kitchen.” she replied.

Before I could protest her stealing the keys she continued.

“I was going to surprise you by cleaning the house and making you dinner this week. I was going to give you the keys back” she was walking away. She came back with the keys and handed them to me.

She got dressed and packed up some clothes she had in my room.

“Bye” she kissed me on the cheek and walked out the door.

I had a gut feeling that this was not the end.

A week passed by and I was starting to feel comfortable that it was over. I went out with Steven to a club that week. It was a club we have never been to before. I was trying to avoid seeing Elena at one of the clubs we frequent.

That night leaving the club I saw a car that looked like Elena parked outside. At first I thought it was coincidence but then I saw the car again a block away from the apartment on my way home one evening. Then I saw Elena’s car parked in the parking lot at my job. In all the cases I never saw her. That changed. She walked into the pharmacy one night. She waved at me while I was stocking a shelf. She did not come over. She just looked at me with a weird smile.

A greeting card came in the mail a few days later. It was a romantic card unsigned with an address I did not recognized.  I did not need any other evidence. I was being stalked by Elena. The first thing that came to mind was the movie Fatal Attraction. I have a crazy person on my hands.

The difference in this case is that I would not go to the police. I did not need any attention to myself and risk them finding out I was an illegal alien.

I was scared and did not know what to do. I did not know what she was going to do next. It did not take long.

I came home one evening and as I approached the door to the apartment I heard music. I know I did not leave the radio on when I left so I opened the door cautiously. There was the sweet smell of food in the room. The table was set with candle lights and food. There were wine glasses and a bottle of wine on the table. Someone was in the kitchen.

It was Elena dressed in a sexy negligee.

She ran up to me and gave me a big hug pressing her body against mine.

“Baby you are home,” she said “I am so happy”

I was shocked. I did not know what to do. I had scoped out the neighborhood on the way home and thought I was safe because her car was not around. She had given me Sue’s key but it was obvious she cut a copy. How dumb of me not to change the locks.

Come eat.

I was still speechless. I really wanted to shout at her and tell her to get out but I did not want to create a scene. The police had recently visited one of the units to break up a domestic violence incident. It was a neighbor who called to complain about noise of the couple arguing. I did not want interact with the police.

Against all my impulses I decided to play along.  It was difficult but it was the best option while I figured out how I would get her out of the apartment.

I went to the table ate while she spoke. I did not hear anything she was saying. I was zoning her out.

At the end of dinner I looked at her from across the table and told her she had to go.

I know you have work tonight but how about a quick one” she purred winking at me.

How did she know my work schedule? I had changed it a few weeks back because I did not want to be predictable especially as I knew she was stalking me.

No, you have to go. I replied

You can’t get it going? She was now questioning my manhood. I know it was her way to challenge me to get back with her.

I did not respond. I sat on the coach and gave her a look that said “You must leave”. She went to the bathroom changed.

She walked by me and slammed the front door on the way out. I did not ask her for the key as I was going to change the locks.  

I went to my room right after she left and discovered something unusual on the dresser. There was a black doll dressed in white with two lit candles on each side of the doll. There was a note written in Spanish in front of the doll. It was creepy. I extinguished the candles and stared at the display for a few minutes trying to figure out what to do.  My mind went back to Jamaica and Obeah. The Cubans have a religion they call Santeria which many say is their version of Obeah. Santeria has roots from Africa as slaves mixed their religion with Catholicism. I did not believe in Obeah so this Santeria stuff was not going to scare me. I took everything and placed them in the garbage. Asked a Cuban friend about items she left at the house. I told him I was asking for “another friend”.  He told me that the doll represented the Oshun the Santeria Goddess of Love and that the note was probably a prayer to her (the god) asking for reconciliation of the relationship.

A week passed by and there was no sign of Elena.  Then one day while stocking a shelf she crept up behind me and whispered in my ears.

“I miss you”

Steven was close by. I think he sensed I was about to “blow up”.

“Elena, how are you?”

They started a conversation.  I went to the stock room. By the time I got back out she was gone.

“Dah  gal deh crazy bredrin. She still ah stalk yuh?”, he asked.

“Yeah” I replied.

“Why yuh nuh call police pon ar baxside” he asked

I really wanted to call the police but could not tell him the real reason why I did not.

“I thought she would have given up be now”, I replied.

“Well, yuh can sleep good tonight. She was coming back to harass yuh and I told her I would go out with her and her friends tonight.” Steven knew Elena and her friends from our club hopping nights

I was relieved. I was having sleepless nights over this “mad woman”.  

That night I went home and was sleeping like a baby.

The phone rang about 5:O0 am. I did not want to pick up but it could be an emergency.


There was heavy breathing in the background. It sounded like 2 people in a car as I heard the sound of a seat reclining.  I soon realized it was Elena and Steven. Was I in a dream?

Elena was moaning. They were making love. I was about to hang up but then Elena started talking. She was telling him he was better than me. Then Steven said.

“I’m nuh know ow fi do di wuk like me”

Elena giggled, ” I don’t know what that means but keep doing what you doing”

I hung up the phone. I felt betrayed. Steven was talking about me like I was not his friend. I was sure that Elena’s phone did not accidental dial my number because they were in a car. She set this up. She wanted me to hear the whole thing. Now she has recruited Steven to be a part of plan to make my life miserable. Her plan was working.

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