Advice & Help

Love Languages Speak When Spouses Listen….Five Ways

My all time favorite program to watch is Bushcraft.  I find it very interesting to watch those men and women camping in the mountains, many times off the grid, fending for themselves by being creative.  It is something I am still trying to convince Michelle to let us try, although I know it may never happen.  Michelle loves the outdoors but not that type of outdoors.  She sticks to on shore fishing and basketball.  I have come to love those two also but I have a great desire to take the outdoors to another level by going camping.  Maybe one day I will convince her to join me.

The style of living that these campers display never ceases to amaze me.  The part most challenging for me is how they keep the WATER TANK FILLED as they spend nights and days in isolated areas where sometimes only a small stream runs.  I never get to see how they are able to keep those TANKS FILLED with water.  Water is most necessary for survival and they find a way to keep it FILLED.

Every husband and wife has a TANK inside of them that needs constant FILLING.  Whenever my LOVE TANK runs dry or empty, I find it hard to survive the challenges in my marriage and I am sure this goes for every married couple.  My primary love language is quality time.  I love to spend uninterrupted time with Michelle.  Just the same Michelle’s primary love language is Acts Of Service.  Michelle thrives greatly in the marriage when I serve her up some tea at nights.  It has become our thing where I make tea for her at nights and we sit in the couch and spend quality time together just chatting about any and everything.  The sad thing is that many couples have empty LOVE TANKS because one or both couple fail to recognize the need to have the other’s TANK FILLED.  The truth is, love languages speak when spouses take the time to listen in order to strengthen their marriages.   Here are five ways……

Words Carry Heavy Weight

It is of great importance to some husbands or wives to hear a word that expresses affection or appreciation.  When a husband speaks kindly to his wife, or a wife praises her husband who has a desire to hear uplifting words, his or her LOVE TANK gets filled.  When the tank is filled love explodes to heights beyond one can imagine.  The thing to remember is that love is given to your spouse by you and to you by your spouse and affirming words may not be your primary language of love but it may be for your spouse.

Uninterrupted Time Speaks Volume 

There is a huge difference between hearing and listening.  Many couples battle with an addiction to gadgets like cellphones or computers.  These distractions disrupt the flow of a real, uninterrupted conversation.  A spouse whose primary love language is quality time will never thrive well in the marriage if the other spouse tries to hear him or her while chatting with another person by text, or reading the computer.  You are really telling your spouse that you are not really interested in what they are saying or not caring to spend time with them.  A great marriage calls for you showing love to your spouse even by honoring the time they wish to spend with you without interruption.

All Hands on Deck

You may not care so much for your spouse to rub your face or your back, or any part of your body until time for physical intimacy.  But this may be your spouse’s primary concern and desire.  A spouse with this desire will not operate at his or her fullest in the relationship if this love language is not met.  Love gives.  Lust gets.  Marriage is about giving your spouse what they desire as long as it is good.  Physical touch is a desire for some husbands and wives.

Serve Me Please

I see something different in Michelle when she relaxes in the couch while I make and serve her tea at nights.  I actually look forward to this moment because I can hear her LOVE TANK going down and I know it uplifts her when I do this act of service for her.  A spouse whose love language is Acts Of Service feels extremely special when being served by the other spouse.  Again, the mystery of marriage involves giving to your spouse without a mindset of getting from your spouse.  The magic is that your spouse develops the strength to lift you up in return by FILLING your tank also when their’s is filled up.

Stir It Up With a Surprise

Believe it or not, some spouses find it a big deal when they receive a gift from the other spouse even when there is no special occasion, like a birthday or anniversary.  As a matter of fact, their love tanks tend to remain filled for a long time as they keep looking at the gift in memory of your kindness toward them.  It speaks volume that you get them a gift just out of the ordinary.  Receiving gifts to a spouse with this primary love language is like a BIG BIG deal.

Remember that love gives and when both husband and wife decide to intentionally give love to each other both LOVE TANKS REMAIN FILLED.  The mindset that leads to great marriages is one that aims to give love.  Furthermore, couples who both aim to give love will get love in return.  Know your spouse’s primary love language and aim to fill it as much as you can.  Imagine both husband and wife with this aim!  When both aim to FILL each other’s LOVE TANK the marriage thrives like no other.  If Love, Joy, Peace and Harmony is your desire for your marriage relationship, start aiming to fill your spouse’s love tank and enjoy the journey toward a great marriage.

 In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”

About The Author

Carim Hyatt

Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies.  He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God.  Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image.  Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.

Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife Michelle, are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a radio talk show reaching all over the world.   He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh.  Carim’s third book, PURITY IN PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE is soon to be released.  His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking.  Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has led him.  Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family.  He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart.  His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image

Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families.

Read all our marriage articles on Jamaicans.com

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Photo – Deposit Photos

About the author

Carim Hyatt