Marriage In A Back Seat…Its Dangers

Riding in the back seat of a yellow cab is a normal trend.  Better yet, being transported while sitting in the back of a limousine is considered luxury.  I remember renting a luxury Sports Utility Vehicle to take our son to his prom.  He was looking like a king, all dressed in his suit.  I must say, I was very proud of him, seeing him looking like a man at seventeen years old.  You would think he would ride in the front seat of the SUV with me but no, he insisted on being driven so he sat in the back seat chilling, and I must say well deserved!  Tyler is a great son to Michelle and I and a precious gift from God.

Here is the irony….NO HUSBAND, WIFE, CHILD OF AGE, FRIEND OR EXTENDED FAMILY MEMBER WANTS TO DRIVE IN THE BACK SEAT OF THEIR FAMILY’S VEHICLE ON A NORMAL BASIS.  There is this sense of feeling appreciated when driving in the front seat with your spouse next to you.  I cannot imagine driving our family vehicle and encouraging Michelle to sit in the back seat.  It just would not work out well for either one of us.  It sparks a feeling of disrespect or a lack of appreciation.

Sadly enough, many marriages take a back seat while other life activities take center stage.  This is spelling disaster in any marriage.  What would cause a marriage to end up in the back seat when God created it to take center stage?  Why are other things taking the place of the most important relationship in this earthly life.  Where did this flip happen?  There is eminent danger facing any marriage that is shoved to the back of the room while other earthly relationships ride in the front of the marriage vehicle.  Here are four of them:


Marriage relationships operate well when they are kept fresh, key word “kept.”  I have never seen a car engine stay charged up without being maintained.  The engine will always “seize up,” as some would call it.  A corroded marriage relationship takes twice the work, or even more, than it would take to maintain the marriage relationship.  Marriage needs constant food to operate well.  A farmer will never reap a harvest by planting without watering and maintaining.  Just the same, a husband and wife will never enjoy the greatness of real marriage without intentionally making their relationship a priority.  Your marriage was created to be enjoyed by you and your spouse.  You will not experience that enjoyment by putting your marriage on the back burner.  Put it above all else, except God.


Healthy marriages drive healthy families.  A real family is made up of the husband, wife and children.  Take away any part of this creation and it is no longer a family.  Statistics show a vast majority of homes with only a mother and children or dad and children.   Apart from the sad reality of one spouse passing away, too many living spouses are missing from the home creating a domino effect of disasterous and unnecessary devastation of the children’s lives.  The health of the family is dependent on the health of the marriage.  Again, a marriage placed on the back seat always results in a family placed on the back burner, leading to a break down of both the marriage and family life.


A wife is created to crave love from her husband and when that love is not shown, the wife rebels and resents.  As much as true love is unconditional, true love is a craving that drives a respectful wife.  An unloved wife ends up in the crazy cycle almost always.  This leads to even further disaster in the marriage relationship.  This can be prevented.  Every husband proposed to his wife with the intent to love and cherish her all her days.  Every husband will experience trauma in the marriage relationship if the choice is made, sometimes unintentionally, to place the relationship on the back burner.  Prioritize your wife and you will prioritize your life.


Just as the wife is created to crave love from her husband, the husband is created to crave respect from his wife.  When a husband feels disrespected he has a very hard time functioning as a real man and husband.  Why?  His ego gets crushed.  The very thing he craves naturally from his wife is taken away by his wife.  Love and Respect are twins joined at the hip in every marriage and if taken apart the marriage relationship experiences turbulence like no other.  A chaotic change in the marriage pressure occurs that leads to disaster in the marriage relationship.  The real cause of disrespect is from a lack of prioritizing the husband.  Prioritize your husband and you will experience the love you also crave as a wife.

There is a way to break every bondage of craziness in any marriage relationship.  It is called INTENTIONALITY.   Be intentional to put your marriage at the top of your list of life.  Make every effort to remove it from the backseat and place it front and center.  Prioritize your husband and wife above friends, gadgets, work or even children, as this is the only way your marriage will thrive to heights of enjoyment.  God created you and your spouse to become ONE FLESH.  Two cannot become one when one of the two stays in the backseat of the marriage vehicle all the time.  Huddle up and live the life God called you to live in marriage.  Michelle and I constantly pray for every marriage to experience life and it can be experienced.   Let your marriage relationship sit front and center of life.  You will not regret it.

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About The Author

Carim Hyatt

Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies.  He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God.  Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image.  Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.

Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife of twenty years, Michelle,  are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a radio talk show reaching all over the world.   He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh.  Carim is now on his third book, PURITY IN PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE.  His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking.  Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has led him.  Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family.  He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart.  His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image

Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families. Visit his website for updates. Read all marriage articles on Visit our new website: Listen to our weekly podcasts:

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