Advice & Help

Marriage Is Not For You….Four Proofs

Marriage Is Not For You - Four Proofs

Passion drives action in almost every situation.  There is hardly anything to stop one from pursuing his heart’s desire.  This is why a true author writes from a heart of fervency.  A basketball superstar will put up hundreds of shots to the hoop everyday out of a strong desire to be the best shooter in the game.  Even David had a strong passion for the heart of God.

Michelle and I are driven by a strong passion for fishing.  It was so strong that nothing could stop us from going to fish as often as we were able.  I remember being unemployed and would take Michelle to and from work in that 1990 Nissan Sentra with no air conditioning.  This did not stop our day to day fishing trips after work every single day of the week.  We were so passionately driven that she would be changing in the car while i drive from her job to the ocean and fish until after midnight sometimes.  We would then go home, sleep, then start all over again the next day.

Passion drives action even in marriage.  However, the sad truth in many marriages, is that same passion will lead to selfish action if not careful.  Couples usually start out with a strong desire to please each other, then something happens along the marriage journey that causes one or both spouses to turn that passion into wanting everything for “SELF.”  A radical change usually happens that speaks, ” ME, MYSELF AND I.”  This lie is so subtle that it gets the better of so many couples.  I have spoken with husbands who when they speak you would think they are single.  Wives have adapted to the idea of friend over spouse for and all out of selfishness.

The real truth is marriage only works well when one spouse has the mindset of doing for each other and not self.  Love and respect are the two strongest driving forces in marriages to give it life.  If you have a desire for your marriage to die, start doing for SELF.   If you wish for your marriage to live, start doing for your spouse.  Marriage is really not for you.  Here are four strong proofs:



Marriage works well when one spouse shows the other love.  Not just saying “I love you,” but giving “I love you.”  You did not marry yourself.  You made a vow to your spouse.  Maintaining a mindset that says “I vow to Love and Cherish you all my days” is one of the reminders that you got married, not for you but for your spouse.


One of the most troubling things in marriage relationships today is a spouse acting single in the marriage.  Oten times and without intent we take each other for granted.  It is mind that says, “he will always be here.”  This a very dangerous place to be in the mind of any spouse.  Marriage spells TWO BECOMING ONE while singleness spells ONE REMAINING ONE.   The quicker that mindset of singleness changes to remembering what marriage really is, doing for each other, the faster the marriage regains momentum and takes off again to where it was once heading, life.  All else head to death of the marriage.


Although at times a spouse may dangerously express that he or she does not need the other, it is a big lie.  The big question is always, WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED?  There is a need for companionship where your husband needs your respect.  He was created to crave respect from you.  God made him to need that respect to be all he can be as a husband, or else he could have stayed single, at which time there would be no need for respect from you.  The truth is, self will put up a roadblock that will stop you from showing him that respect he needs.  Thinking that the marriage is for you will cause you to not do for him because of a constant focus on self.  Your husband needs you more than you really know.


True love from a husband will lead the wife into such a place of satisfaction and security that allows her to function the way God created her to be.  This is why God commands the husband to love his wife just as Christ loves the church and gave His life for her.  Husbands, your wives need not just your love, they need your unconditional love.  A husband thinking about self will never show unconditional love.  That love that loves even when not feeling like loving is real love that your wife needs.  Remember, your wife is your number one priority after your relationship with God.  This order of life is what will allow for your marriage to thrive and throttle like no other.

It is the desire of Michelle and I to see every marriage go the long haul.  God has brought us from that valley experience into a place where He is using us to minister to and encourage other married couples.  I have learned that i got married to Michelle to love and serve her.  Michelle has also come to understand that she said yes to me to respect my spiritual leadership as a man of God, Husband and father of our son Tyler.  The quicker you come to understand this fact, the better your marriage will be as you put this truth into practice.  Marriage is not for you so much as it is for your spouse.  Huddle up and live.


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About The Author

Carim Hyatt

Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies.  He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God.  Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image.  Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.

Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife Michelle are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a radio talk show reaching all over the world.   He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh.  Carim’s third book, PURITY IN PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE is soon to be released.  His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking.  Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has led him.  Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family.  He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart.  His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image

Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families. Visit his website for updates. Read all marriage articles on Visit our new website: Listen to our weekly podcasts:

Marriage Is Not For You - Four Proofs - PIN

Photos  – Deposit Photos

About the author

Carim Hyatt