Marriage is a work in progress for life. It is the most enjoyable part of creation, except a personal relationship with Christ, when lived like Christ. God created marriage with two simple sounding solutions for marriage to work…..LOVE YOUR WIFE LIKE CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH AND SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBAND AS UNTO CHRIST. Anyone couple married for years can attest to the fact that marriage just does not experience the real joy and happiness it can experience without these two solutions if put into practice.
The reality is we all make mistakes all the time and are constantly learning so I do not write from a position of getting marriage right. Actually, marriage was created by God for husband and wife to BECOME one flesh. It is in becoming that we learn the bad habits to avoid or drop so we can have a happy and joyful marriage relationship that God intended for every marriage to experience.
The reality is that we hold our marriages hostage to failure and unhappiness when we do not avoid these bad habits. As you and spouse intentionally avoid these seven bad habits you will develop a marriage relationship filled with joy as you BECOME ONE.
Every spouse has areas needing growth. No one enjoys the company of a spouse who does not make efforts to grow and change. A marriage without freshness is a marriage that will eventually die. Both husband and wife must be intentional to change and grow in areas that are weak for the marriage to be a happy one.
BECOME ATTACHED TO THE TV AND PHONE
The biggest distractions of today affecting marriages is media. Quality time is a necessary for all marriages. It is impossible to listen to your spouse while in tuned to responding to a text or watching tv. Hearing your spouse without listening to your spouse is telling your spouse you are not really interested in what they are saying. In order to be less distracted, you have to put down your phone and be courageous enough to turn it off after a certain time of day. You need to limit how much television you watch and make your marriage a top priority.
Continue to enjoy hobbies and stay active. Michelle and I sometimes have to push ourselves to go take a walk or jog or even go fishing despite being tired from the day’s activities but the couch would have kept us bound to boredom, and our marriage would have become boring. Whatever floated your boat when you dated or when you just got married, go back to doing those things and bring back life in your relationship.
PUT OTHERS PRIMARY OVER YOUR SPOUSE
Allowing others like family, co-workers, friends to take priority over your spouse will definitely lead to problems in your marriage. In marriage loyalty cannot be divided. Your loyalty belong to your own marriage and family as a primary concern. Any other order will lead to disunity in the marriage relationship and will hinder you becoming one with your spouse. Your husband or wife deserve to be the primary, not the left overs. Your husband’s or wife’s opinion and ideas must take center stage position, not back stage. You would want to be center stage yourself.
INFLICT THE SILENT TREATMENT ON YOUR SPOUSE
When a spouse stops speaking to the other due to malicious thoughts from an argument or disagreement, that spouse is telling the other “I quit on the marriage relationship.” Be careful. Although every spouse may need some time to cool down or walk away for a moment, it must NOT be to punish the other spouse. This is the devil’s playground where he plays with your mind putting negative and unkind thoughts for you to go along with that can mess up your marriage even further. Do not allow it.
SPEND MORE THAN YOU CAN
Money is a danger when it is loved too much. The spending of money that you do not have is even more of a danger, especially in marriage relationships. It has proven to be one of the top reasons for divorce. You need to get serious about not spending more than you can afford in order to not spend more than you can afford. Michelle and I sat down and recorded how much we spend on food outside of cooking and were surprised at the amount of money we were giving away and did not even have to give away to food places….cook more and make it fun as you do it together if you can. Make it a date and save on spending.
In one of our marriage radio programs we host, we explained the importance of a working budget prepared together. Do it! It will help to save your marriage.
USE THE D-WORD AS A THREAT
“Death and Life is in the power of the tongue,” Proverbs 18:21. The word divorce speaks death to your marriage. Saying the “D” word is like launching a nuclear bomb on the whole marriage by simply destroying everything in sight, including yourself. When you threaten with divorce, where do you go from there? Avoid that word in arguments and fights since arguments and fights will happen and will cease when both husband and wife work through them, no matter how hot the heat may be in the kitchen.
Michelle and I pray for marriages and our hope is that you will do all you can to get rid of these bad habits if you can identify with any of them.
About The Author
Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies. He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God. Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image. Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.
Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife of twenty years, Michelle, are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a brand new radio talk show reaching as far south as Miami and as far north as Orlando. He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh. Carim is now on his third book, PURITY IN PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE. His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking. Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has lead him. Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family. He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart. His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image.
Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families. Visit his website for updates. Read all marriage articles on Jamaicans.com Visit our new website: www.MarriageVantagePoint.com Listen to our weekly podcasts: https://anchor.fm/carim-hyatt
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