Advice & Help

Silent Night..Holy Fight…Overcoming Marriage Fights At Christmas Time

Silent Night Holy Fight Overcoming Marriage Fights At Christmas Time

TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY is a very common phrase coming from one of the most popular Christmas carols.  But this is not the case for Rachel and Tony.  It appears that almost every Christmas they have a big fight.  This is reality for many other couples.  The question is why?  Why do fights errupt at a time when joy should be center stage?

It is the small foxes that usually spoil the vine.  The truth is, conflicts will happen, especially at Christmas time because everybody gets overly excited about the glamour and glitter of the season and forget about the real reason for the season.  Conflicts are okay to some extent but a conflict and a fight are two totally different things.  A conflict can be good for your marriage relationship but a fight may not be.  A fight is usually from an emotion that blows up while a conflict usually stems from differences in thoughts, desires and beliefs.  The reality is that conflicts are inevitable while fights are optional.  Fights are about the moment while conflicts are about the marriage.

Rachel wanted to have family over for Christmas while Tony desired a Christmas dinner with Rachel and himself only.  Rachel was not happy and emotions erupted causing a fight.  Tony refused to go with Rachel’s idea out of selfish desires and harsh words were spoken, in-laws were ridiculed, even sex was being deprived out of bad feelings for each other.   This all happened at Christmas and planted poison in the marriage relationship.  Tensions seem to run higher than the normal at this time of year when Christ must be the center of all the celebration.  If you are a married couple experiencing this or similar situations you can overcome and have a joyful and peaceful Christmas.  Here are three powerful ways to overcome the marriage fights at Christmas time.


As much as gifts are great to give and receive at Christmas time, it is not about you or for you.  Christmas is to celebrate Christ.  I have come to the point of being okay even if Michelle does not give me a gift, although she always does.  Joy is an everlasting experience which is not dictated by whether or not your spouse agrees or disagrees with your views or decisions.  You can have joy no matter how bad everything else is.  Just CHOOSE it.  Fights and conflicts will arise, especially at Christmas but just remember the REAL reason for celebrating Christmas.


We tend to argue and fight over the minor things due to the pressure of the holiday season.  Nitpicking over the football game, or the food, or even the type of gift received.  But these small foxes do not have to spoil the vine of the season to be jolly.   This usually affects the ones closest to us.  Overlook the minor offense and magnify the fact that you have each other while some couples are separated at this Christmas time.


It is an exciting time of the year.  Do not let grumbling and complaining take root.  I am too busy.  It’s too cold.  It’s too hot.  These are all statements that put darkness in what can be a well lit Christmas celebration.  Remember who you are to each other in marriage, especially while celebrating Christ of Christmas.  Have fun and not allow anything or anyone to take away your joy, especially at Christmas time.


Let your marriage relationship experience that peace and joy you both deserve that you have worked so hard to build up.  Huddle up and enjoy this Christmas together or with family and friends.  Michelle and I continue to pray for all marriages as we continue to allow God to use us to encourage you both.  You can do it.  You were created to become ONE FLESH, even in this Christmas season.

About The Author

Carim Hyatt

Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies.  He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God.  Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image.  Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.

Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife Michelle are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a radio talk show reaching all over the world.   He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh.  Carim’s third book, PURITY IN PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE is soon to be released.  His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking.  Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has led him.  Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family.  He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart.  His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image

Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families. Visit his website for updates. Read all marriage articles on Visit our new website: Listen to our weekly podcasts:

Photo – Deposit Photos 

About the author

Carim Hyatt