The Positive Effect Of Tests And Trials In Your Marriage

At age fifty, I can attest to the fact that life can sometimes throw curve balls at us and sometimes we get hit ‘dead-on’ unknowningly as a result of the ugly truth, that we will at times, experience a PIT SEASON.   “PIT” is defined as a large hole in the ground.  Pits were used to catch wild animals (Ezekiel 19: 1-8) or to collect water for drinking (cisterns, Deutoronomy 6:11).  Sometimes they were used as dungeons or prisons(Genesis 37:24; Exodus 12:29).

Every man or woman has or will experience a season where it feels like the pit is deep and there is no way out.  Every married couple goes through a PIT SEASON in their marriage.  Being married for twenty years, I can say Michelle and I have experienced our PIT SEASON in our marriage every now and then.  We have also experienced seasons of mountain top victories with peace and joy unexplained, but we have learned that to get to the surface you must come out of the PIT, and it is in the PIT that you even realize the importance of togetherness.  This is the season and place where God will keep you and your spouse to teach you and glue you together into becoming “one flesh”.  The question is, are you willing to endure the season or will you run away from the challenge.  While the latter is the easy way out, the former, if embraced, will provide for such a POWERFUL marriage.  A marriage in the IMAGE OF GOD.  A marriage that God can use as a conduit for victory in other marriages.  If Paul did not embrace his thorn, God would not have used him so mightily to preach and reach so many lost souls through humble acceptance (2 Corinthians 12:7-9).

Michelle and I have traveled through deep valleys and experienced PIT SEASONS that has grown us and brought us even closer to the point of being used to lead MARRIED COUPLES lifegroups along with being radio hosts for MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a radio program reaching many to encourage them in their journey of marriage.  Had we not embraced these seasons, we would not have seen the purpose for these seasons.  God will allow the PIT season to DEVELOP your marriage to where he will use your marriage as an example to the world, if you allow Him.


It took me a while to realize that there is truth in “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  This blessed assurance is not only a promise from God for my marriage but for every married couple seeking a relationship with God.  The absolute truth is that God is with us in our marriage, but only when we invite him to be with us.  While you are experiencing your season of PIT DEVELOPMENT the need for His presence is absolute.  He is the one who will keep the stench of the pit to overtake you and your spouse.  A cord with three strands is not easily broken just as a plot of hair is solid enough to not fall apart.  This same truth applies to a marriage with God in the center of it, even while going through a season of trials and hardship.  God is so wise that He will stay with you in the PIT, knowing that you will not experience more hardship than you can handle, and use the experience to pull that plot even tighter.  The tighter your marriage relationship become, the more solid your marital foundation is.  The closer you get to becoming “ONE FLESH” the more joy you experience even while going through that PIT SEASON.  The greatest of it all is that GOD is always right there mingling with you and your spouse as you develop into that one flesh.  The experience is as if GOD is allowing the wife to be sealed back into the rib of the husband, as in the day he created man and said it is not good for man to be alone.


A muscle needs to endure pain from lifting weights in order to grow.  A marriage needs to endure hard times (PIT) to develop into how God wants it.  God created you and your spouse to become ONE FLESH in marriage but only through staying in the PIT together until He says “you can now come out.”  One thing you can be sure of is that when God says come out, He means come out shining in all strength, peace and joy.  When Joseph was thrown into the PIT by his own brothers (Genesis 37:24), he did not stay there forever.  He actually came out a mighty man of valor leaving Reuben STUNNED when he did not see Joseph in the PIT anymore.

Your marriage may be facing a PIT SEASON but it is at that time you can embrace the growth knowing you are not alone.  God never leaves nor forsake those who follow him through a personal relationship.  God never promise that your marriage will not face trials but he did promise that your trials will turn into greatness if and only if you trust Him and wait in your PIT SEASON to allow him to develop you into a married couple that no enemy can contend with.  I thank God for allowing Michelle and I to grow into who we are today to the point of being used by GOD in such vastness to reach so many, including you reading this article.  We pray you embrace your hard season in your marriage.  You will not be disappointed by any measure when you trust HIM while going through your PIT DEVELOPMENT season.

If there is a word of advice to heed, it is this; stay focused on your purpose for going through your hard times in your marriage.  It will not be forever.  There is a mountain top to reach but you cannot reach it without passing through the valley.  It is in the valley that you experience growth, perseverance, strength, value and purpose that God has for your marriage.  It is in the PIT that you will experience the naked truth that GOD is with you and your spouse.  It is in the hard times that you will experience the fact that you do not know the need for each other until there is a need for each other.  Endure and embrace your PIT SEASON OF DEVELOPMENT as it will only propel your marriage to heights you would not have even known unless you had gone through it.  Giving up in the hard times of life only brings great disappointment and stunts personal growth.  Just the same, giving up when the challenges come in your marriage only leaves you running around doing what I call ‘MARRIAGE HOPPING’ going through the same or similar experiences all over again.  Stick it out as you allow the creator of marriage, GOD, to accompany you and fix your marriage how only He can.

About The Author
Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies.  He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God.  Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image.  Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.

Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife of twenty years, Michelle,  are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a brand new radio talk show reaching as far south as Miami and as far north as Orlando.   He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh.  Carim is now on his third book, PURITY IN PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE.  His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking.  Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has lead him.  Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family.  He has been on various radio and TV stations in different parts of the country speaking and interviewing on the topic of marriage and family.  He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart.  His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image.

Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families. Visit his website for updates.


  • Carim Hyatt

    Carim has a passion for marriage and family. He and his wife, Michelle, are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a radio talk show reaching all over the world. He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh. His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking.

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