Vegetable matter – Country Gal A Foreign

You see when me did lickle a country, mama always use to have at least one pepper tree plant a di pipe-side, you know. When you see it bear, it loaded so till, di limb dem out fi pop off. Mama just a give way pepper so, even Missa Chin did get di freeness to an when him done him charge a arm an a leg fi him patty dem. You woulda tink say him woulda give we a bligh? No, sah. Poor Frankie sometime use to go a Missa Chin shop an try look poorly hope seh him wi get a free patty. Hear Missa Chin:

“Any peppa? Any peppa?”

Massi, ma, Saturday come an mama make soup, you fall dung eena mello. Pumpkin soup, beef soup wid gungo, hmmm, chile, you scrape di pot bottom. Me tell you, if mama doan plant anyting else, she haffi plant a pepper.

Well, chile, since me come a dis Foreign me been buying everyting a store, good, bad an ugly. An me always a cook callalloo and ackee from tin an me haffi season dem well fi get di original tatse. So di odda day when a friend a mine offer me some callalloo plant me say awright, mek me jook two hole behind me house an see if dem wi catch. Massi, ma, mama woulda proud a me. Di vegetable dem grow, dem spread, I was most proud. I was becoming Farmer Ambro. I manure and fertilize and water. Me start tink maybe me coulda get eena di business (memba how dem use to walk holler ‘callalloooo’) an mek some money pon di side.

Missis, one evening me come home from di lickle work, ready fi go do mi gardening (so dem call it a Foreign). When me look, half a mi vegetable dem chop dung leff ongly stump. I was abased. For nutting more dan somebody see di vegetable matter an mistake it for some odda type of vegetable matter. All me can imagine is somebody siddung somewhere eena some dark corner a say:

“Hey, this is real good stuff, dude” an a pass it pon di left hand side

Massi, ma, you ever see sinting so? For me done fence it roun an all, you know. Me tink me shoulda put up a sign fi warn dem for next ting you know is police dat a swarm me garden an ready fi handcuff me. No, ma, Ambro cyaan make dat happen for me tell you me fraid a police, man. No sah, Ambro cyaan come a Foreign so go a jail just because of a lickle vegetable matter. Not eena dis Foreign, chile.