Why Jamaican Children Do Not Trick Or Treat

Benny: **Knock knock** Good eveling.. anybady in dere

Ms Hortence: A who dat a knack pan di door dem hours a clack when mi a look fi turn in sah ..COMING!! HOLE AN.. Weh mi glasses deh..oh si it yah

Benny: A me miss Hortence. Mi an Tony, Rico, Tamas, an Peta a Trick ‘o Treat Mam.

Ms Hortence: (opens the Door) Weh yuh seh lickle bway? Talk again granny neva hear yuh.

Benny: Wi Trick-a-Treating Mam. Yuh gat any sweetie can put ina wi crocus bag?

MS Hortence: Pickney yuh eva look ina di mirror an notice seh yuh noh gat any teet? A full time yuh tap nyam di whole heap sweetie dem ..a only wan more teet lef fi drap outta yuh head.

Benny: No mam.. mi teet arite…mi all bite cane wid mi wan teet mam. Beg yuh some sweetie noh.

Ms Hortence: Arite ole an a minute ..mi suppose to have some icy mint ina mi bossom yah.

Benny: Mam yuh noh have nutten sweeta dan icymint?

Ms Hortence: Bway pickney yuh eva get a good smell affa yuh breat yet? Is why yuh tink is icy mint mi a look fi gi yuh? Tek dem ..si dem yah an share dem up wid di res a yuh nassy nose fren dem. Shoo! Go home now!

The boys walk over to another house.

Benny: Nurse Philips! Tricka Treat! Tricka Treat!

Nurse Philips: Benny! What on eart yuh doing Trick a treating for candy when yuh know yuh not well?!

Benny: Nurse is Holloween an wi jus a beg sweetie fi di haliday Mam.. a feel fine tideh Nurse.

Nurse Philips: Benny I am not going to give yuh any candy when yuh madda jus tek yuh to di clinic yestiday fi get worm medicine! Yuh know seh too much sweet sweet a gi yuh dem whole heap worm ina yuh belly? Chile go home before I call yuh moda fi get yuh off di street.

Benny: Arite Nurse Philips ..mi going home now. Tanks fi di worm medicine yestiday yuh hear mam. **cut yeye**

The boys walk to a third home:

Benny: HOLE DAAG!! Maas Sunny ooyee..Maas Sunny a mi Benny fram rouna lane a beg some sweetie sar

Maas Sunny: Benny? Benny bway a yuh grow soh big an ugly? Benny a time yuh fi tap nyam sweetie yuh noh .. look pan yuh gut in front a yuh fi a lickle bway! Feva like yuh ago deliva tree-plets any day now.

Benny: An noh sweetie mek mi belly soh big Maas Sunny … a troo mi maada cook plenty salt powk a eveling time. Beg yuh some sweetie noh

Mass Sunny: Well mi have some juju sweetie ina di dressa draw ..ole an yah soh mek a goh get dem fi yuh an yuh nassy nose fren dem.

Benny: Tank yuh sah… Yaaeaaaah wi ago  get some sweetie!!

Maas Sunny: Si dem yah.. noh mine di biting ants weh a crawl ova dem.. a troo dem ina di draw fi ova 2 mont now. Mass Sunny a get ole an mi false teet caan mange di tough sweetie dem like wan time. Unu can brush aff di ants dem affa it…dem nyam good same way.

The boys walk to a fourth home:

Benny: Bigga Don .. yuh deh bout ..a mi Benny a Trica Treat!

Bigga Don: Seh wah lickle yout? Yuh a walk an a beg Sweetie?

Benny: Yeah man … mi get some sweetie fram couple peeple down di road excep fi mean Nurse Philips.

Bigga Don: Mek mi si how much sweetie yuh have ina di bag deh yout

Benny: A noh much but it can do ..si di bag here.

Bigga Don: Mek mi si ..icy mint an juju sweetie.. nice! Just weh mi waan! My yout mi jus done smoke a spliff an mi ago hole an pan dem sweetie yah zeen?

Benny: (starts to cry) Waaaaiii Mi waan back mi sweetie dem … waaaah mi ago tell mi modda seh yuh tek weh mi sweetie dem.

Bigga Don: Hush up yuh mout and move fram mi yaad gate wid di cow bawling  before mi set mi daag pan yuh to.

Benny : (sob, sob) Move and gwey yu big dutty teif yuh !