Why Women Shouldn’t Be Responsible For ‘Fixing’ Men

I have low expectations of men, which is great considering that expectation is a root of heartache. These days, nothing that comes from a man’s mouth really surprises me. Regardless, recent admonishments I’ve heard of women make my blood boil. Women need to raise the bar. If you don’t want us to act like dogs, don’t allow it when we do. Don’t make it so easy. Don’t let us get away with things. Make us better. No, make yourselves better.

Apparently, women are somehow responsible for transforming men from morally repugnant humans into gentlemen? Women should be accountable for men’s lack of basic values like respect, honesty and common courtesy? Women are responsible for men’s sinful actions? This is ridiculous; men complain about being called dogs but expect women to train them as if they actually are? Interesting.

Just because someone gives you a cookie doesn’t mean you have to eat it. People are supposed to possess some sort of value system to direct and guide their own lives. People are accountable for themselves. I’m tired of  hearing men say that they will follow what women instruct. I would never want to date a man who would do horrible things simply because no one was holding him accountable.

I wake up every day and I choose — actively so – to make positive decisions. I respect the men with whom I pursue relationships. I value honesty and respect. I choose not to take advantage of people and stomp on their hearts. So, I’m a bit confused why some men find it acceptable to take advantage of a woman because “she allows it.”

Even if I were to date the most vulnerable, self-loathing, desperate man, I would never use or abuse him because I have integrity. A man who lacks integrity is a weak man with whom I wouldn’t want to share my life.

Don’t get me wrong — I do believe women should hold men accountable for their actions, but not with the agenda to turn them into better men. Upon allowing a man to disrespect you, you are failing to respect yourself. Confident, assertive women are very attractive, but this does not make them dog trainers. When I meet a guy, I expect him to, at the very least, surpass the maturity level of a middle-schooler.

When I have sons, I will teach them to respect and value all women. When two people are in a relationship, they must better each other through accountability, trust, honesty, respect and openness. But, if you are devoid of morals, it is absolutely not my job to fix you. Being accountable for just me is quite enough responsibility to fill my days.

About the Author:
Ms Betty Lou, aka Elizabeth A Hylton, is a Jamaican-American writer, actress, and clinical nurse specialist hailing from Massachusetts. She has a passion for advocating women’s rights and fostering a Caribbean community that values strong women. She’s a lover of Chance by Chanel perfume, east Indian mangos, good jokes, and all things artsy! You can find her on Twitter @MsBettyLou.