Most couples are meticulous with their appearance during the early stages of the relationship. However, after several years together, the addition of children and other responsibilities, there is sometimes the tendency to “let yourselves go” or “become sloppy” in grooming and attire. When this happens, intimacy becomes more like a chore or a routine act than the sensual experience that it’s supposed to be.

Think back to when you were dating. You always tried to look your best for each other, you took frequent showers, used deodorant, changed your underwear and ensured that your breath was fresh at all times. You’d also take care in how you dress, as you wanted to show your most attractive self to your potential spouse. Guess what? The same rituals should be followed throughout the relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together.

Here are some tips to make yourself attractive for your spouse.

1. Get Physical
If you think you’re overweight, lose some weight to get to your desired weight or to tone your body. This can be achieved through exercise and proper diet. Getting physical with your spouse can help to turn up the pleasure. Exercise for a better intimate life and to improve your health.  Couples can incorporate intimacy with exercise – sexercise! It is said that couples who sweat together stay together. Any activity that gets your heart beating faster and breathing harder can boost blood flow especially for the man, to his penis, meaning stronger and longer erections.

2. Eat Healthy
Eating healthy, that is more fresh vegetables, fruits and whole foods and less processed foods and unsaturated fats

3. Cleanse Your Body Daily
Take a bath/shower at least twice per day. Lack of personal hygiene can be a very quick turn off in a relationship. When spouses make the effort to be clean, especially before intimacy or when going to bed, they are more comfortable and uninhibited in enjoying each other bodies. To make the experience more pleasurable why not take a bath together? It doesn’t have to happen every day, but every now and then will foster that spirit of friendship and intimacy, which will make you both feel relaxed and comfortable together.

4. Exfoliate the Skin  
Exfoliate is just the technical term for scrubbing your skin really good to remove the dead skin, and thoroughly cleanse the skin tissues. To add the finishing touch, don’t forget to apply moisturizing oils or creams, which will help to leave your skin smooth and gentle to the touch.

5. Clean Your Navel/Belly Button.
Navel, belly button, umbilicus is often a neglected body part. Your navel should be cleaned just like the rest of your other body parts, otherwise, it will become very smelly and may even become infected. When kissing your stomach, a smelly navel can be a turn off for your partner. A shower or bath will remove the dirt and some germs. Cleaning once per week with a cotton swab that has soap and water or rubbing alcohol on it will also help.

6. Do A Manicure and Pedicure. <
This can be done by yourself or professionally. It is simply cleaning, cutting and shaping your nails. Long, dirty, chipp nails can be very unattractive.

7. Groom Your Hair
Even if you are good at grooming your hair, it’s good to get a professional ‘do’ once in a while. A new hair cut or style can do wonders to your appearance and helps to boost your confidence. Facial hair should be neatly trimmed, as this can be unpleasant or uncomfortable for your spouse during times of intimacy.

8. Groom Pubic Area

Groom the “thick forest” in the pubic area (crotch and inside of thighs). Get rid of unattractive hair from earlobes, face and nostrils.

9. Do Medical Checks

• Visit the doctor to do a physical at least twice per year. If there is an illness, then visit the doctor as recommended.
• Visit the dentist to clean, add implants/dentures or to get rid of cavities which may cause bad breath. Bad breath, rotted, discoloured or missing teeth can be a turn off or be aesthetically unattractive.

10.Wear Sensual, Intimate Clothes

Invest in some sensual lingerie and other intimate clothes, as these can help to boost your confidence and make you feel good, give your spouse a little eye candy and make them feel good too. This will definitely turn up the passion.

As human beings we need and value affirmation from our spouse, so try at all times to look and smell good so that your spouse will find you attractive, and desirable. Sadly, it may not be possible to look your best due to illness. That is understandable, and so the other spouse should be sensitive, caring and not let the other feel unattractive. Make the effort to look attractive for yourself and your spouse. Intimacy and good grooming go hand in hand.

About the author
Olive Patricia Ellis is a Relationship Coach and Matchmaker with training in Counselling Psychology. She is the Founder of Forty & Beyond Matchmaking Club in Toronto Canada, which offers international services. She’s the author of two books (about to be published) and a published magazine – Intimate Moments.

Olive has successfully helped many persons to find their soulmates, and has also provided relationship guidance to couples whose relationships have lost “that loving feeling”.

Contact Olive Patricia Ellis

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