Advice & Help

5 Acts of Intimacy – Key Factors to a Lasting Relationship

One of the enjoyable activities that make a relationship special is ongoing intimacy. There are other acts of intimacy, which can be a mean to create or enhance erotic desires that can lead to sexual intercourse, or just to build intimacy and closeness with your spouse.

The following is a list of possible intimate acts that you could have with your spouse to make a connection that will bind the two of you closer to each other.

1. Cuddling

Cuddling or snuggling is holding your spouse close in your arms as a way of showing love or affection. It is one of the closest and most romantic things that you can do with your spouse. It gives comfort and sends the message of security, protection, and commitment. Studies show that couples who cuddle often stay happier and have a better life together.

2. Sensual Touching

Touching is also a key factor to a lasting relationship. When you touch your spouse, you acknowledge their presence and communicate your desire. You experience a surge in the hormone oxytocin, often called the love hormone in the brain, which helps to sustain feelings of deep attachment.

Touching comes in many forms and may include stroking hair or side of face, massaging, hand holding, nuzzling, and hugging.

Here’s a simple exercise to help you learn more about touch in your relationship. It is called “Sensate Focus.” It’s a sex therapy technique developed by Masters and Johnson where the main focus is on sensation and gathering information about your partner’s body by touching, hugging, etc., rather than pleasure or intercourse. How it’s done? It’s simple. Find some time with your spouse and experiment touching them. Ask them to tell you what feels good in terms of where you touch them as well as how much pressure they like or do not like. Spend about 10 minutes doing this then switch roles and give feedback to your spouse.

3. Talking

Talking is a form of communication which involves listening and needs to be clear to avoid misunderstandings that may cause hurt, anger, or resentment. Many relationships fail because of a lack of communication, as some couples find it hard to express their feelings.

Talking, in relation to intimacy can be powerful and seductive in the bedroom when spoken in the heat of passion, especially when blurting out naughty things. Naughty talk to your spouse can be a form of foreplay but must be done in good taste to offer the best sensual experience.

Talking can help to stimulate your spouse’s major senses, sound, sight, and touch. Talking to your spouse is a way to express your wants and needs in the heat of the moment, to relay your feelings in general and also to give a compliment. Don’t keep your feelings to yourself, talking gets you in the habit of being open, which will make your spouse feel happy.

Don’t forget to listen!

4. Kissing

It is said that a kiss is communication without the talking. It can communicate love, tenderness, passion, and enthusiasm. A kiss helps to incite arousal and to keep the relationship strong. Research has shown that the lips are filled with sensory nerves and when one is kissed, information is sent to the brains, prompting it to produce oxytocin. This hormone is known as the love hormone because it creates intimacy, trust, and builds healthy relationships.

Kissing is one of the most intimate, meaningful contacts that you can have with your spouse, so make the time and effort to kiss your spouse at least twice per day – in the morning and before going to bed. There is no limit to the amount of times that you should kiss your spouse during the day. The more time and effort you put into making sure you kiss your spouse, the stronger the relationship will be overall.

5. Have Regular Intercourse

Put some heat between the sheets by having gentle, loving-tender, intimate, and highly erotic intercourse. Break up the routine and experiment with new ways to bring pleasure to each other. Use intercourse as an opportunity to get to know your spouse better and so your spouse feels attractive and more desirable.

For intimacy to happen in your relationship, you have to learn to understand your spouse, to put their needs above your own, to forgive, to communicate, to listen, to handle conflict in a healthy way, to keep going when things get tough.

About the Author
Olive Patricia Ellis is a Relationship Coach and Matchmaker with training in Counselling Psychology.  She has successfully helped many persons to find their soulmates, and has also provided relationship guidance to singles and couples whose relationships have lost “that loving feeling”.

Contact: [email protected]

About the author

Olive Ellis