A Jamaican Christmas Letter from Abroad

Dear Mama,

Long time me noh write y’u, but noh worri y’u self me dear,

A true things did mawga wid me…lately, it bettah now a days.

Cousin Thelma get a lickle roast fe me …A de place wey she a wuck,

Now me a big time 4man, in a suit jacket, tie and shut.


Mama… A wuck han trow two hand a pardna…han a pack couple barrels a sen

Y’u wi get it before Chrismus…but noh use kindness gie wey ebry ting.

A sen y’u wan flat screen TV and a brand new DVD

Marina han handah pants fe Papa…sneakers han clothes fe dem picknee.


So how y’u han de Chrismus… Evry-ting is evry-ting?

Yaad as cool breeze start bite man… dem halla Chrismus commin.

A Fahrine ….dem noh even wait till snowfall begin

As soon as Halloween ova, Chrismus jus walz right in.


De Plaza dem up yah already decorated…ebry store hab bargainen

But a not spenning a penny…. doing pure yeye shopping…han save ev-ry farden.

A done call Air-Jamaica … book han pay fe me flight aready

Mama, bwile han set some sorrel noh… han bake a black-cake fe me…

But watch y’u hand han de rum, noh pour too much in dey

For the last time me nyam a slice, me sleep the whole live long day.


Wait! Me goat noh did drap…so how much kid she hab again?

A only hope y’u noh mek de one Fanso… teef han sell aff de whole a dem.

Fanso noh waan go wuck…han hab red yeye fe people tings

De adda day noh him a call me…A hask wey me a go bring fe him

Me jus tell him me wooden mine sumbaddy…bring sinting come gie me right yah now

Imagine ye mama… de bwoy wodden even raise two fowl…han me fe tan yah mine him….right in a de cowl.

Fanso bettah- raff dan me…Him mussi tink life a fahrine heezy

So see me sen y’u wan money …y’u can tandeh tek-ye go gie to him.


Seh howdy to Uncle Herman han wen lass y’u hear fram Aunty Pam

Not a soul hear gun fire-yah bout har… fram she lan a England

Tell Papa fe go-ahead…han butcha one a me billy ramgoat

Han Y’u fe come wid Fanso… come pick me up fram Air-port.


Mama, by the way, dem still kip up Chrismus Mawkit ….han light Chrismus Tree in a Panish Town Square

Play carols han reggae muzic….wid a whole heep a peeple han picknee dere?

Me membah Johncoonu han harsehead pon Chirsmus mawnin…han wen clappas a bus

Me even membah wen Santa… did bring me a bran new fire truck.

We use to blow ballons han feefy …han mek a lot a nize

Han use to hav some big-giant starlight… fe fling in a de night sky.

Boxing day we use to go a Fair, all a we pack up in a papa van

Han how Fanso use to loose aff him money ….a de crown han hankah man.

A use to love dance the maypole and ride pon de ferris wheel

Han wen me get aff de merry-go -roun….how it did mek me feel stuntid.


Mama, y’u knoe me really miss yaad, me really miss it fe tru

But dis yah Chrimus a coming home ….so Mama, me we see y’u…

Before me board the plane …me wi mek a fone call

Right now me a get ready fe go mail y’u a money order….it inside the Chrismus Card.


Your Loving Son,