Finger Pointing In Marriage…The Correct Method

“Big finger nevah tell a lie” is a commonly used phrase I heard growing up in Jamaica. I never understood the full meaning of this phrase but I myself have used it as a boy, out of context I am sure. This phrase has been the root cause of many quarrels and fights.

Husbands and wives are naturally wired to cast blame on each other and never on themselves for when things go wrong. In the early stages of my marriage, I have put the blame on Michelle and so has she, even when we knew it was not right. The truth is nobody likes to point out their own faults.

When Eve disobeyed God and followed Satan’s direction, Adam gave in and followed Eve’s weakness. When God asked Adam why, Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed Satan (Genesis 3). This is the same pattern husbands and wives follow although not realizing.

A husband must not watch his wife going in the wrong spiritual direction without lovingly leading her back to base. Just the same, a wife who respects her husband cannot sit back and not respectfully point out a mistake that is causing her husband to fail spiritually. Love never enables wrong. Love corrects without pointing fingers. Here is full proof……

The Speck And Plank Method

Matthew 7:3-5 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Husbands, you have a plank in your eyes. You are flawed. You are not perfect. Yes, your wives have specks in their eyes needing to be removed but it is not your job to blame or point the finger. It is your job to be an example of Christ first. It is at that point you can confidently, correctly and lovingly guide your wives to the truth of how to be like Christ also. God has called you to lead your family but you cannot lead like Christ without being like Christ.

Wives, you also have a plank in your eyes. You are not perfect. Your husband needs you to be that praying wife who will respectfully and suitably help him to be like Christ. First, by letting your character reflect Christlikeness. Let your behavior and speech toward him be as unto Christ. Surrender and submit to the leading of Christ. Then you can correctly and respectfully help your husband along when he is not being like Christ.

Love and respect drive every great marriage. When a husband loves his wife like Christ loves him he has the authority to properly lead his wife and family. When a wife submits to her husband’s leadership as unto Christ she has the right to respectfully and prayerfully help her husband to become the man, father and husband God has called him to be. It is two in one. This is the root of BECOMING ONE in marriage and brings out the best in the marriage relationship. Huddle up and live by applying this corrective method and enjoy a journey of greatness in your marriage relationships.

Contact information:  Carim Hyatt’s Profile – edit (


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About The Author

Carim Hyatt

Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies.  He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God.  Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image.  Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.

Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife, Michelle, are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a radio talk show reaching all over the world.   He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh.   His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking.  Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has led him.  Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family.  He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart.  His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image.

Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families.

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