Preparing for the wedding can be such a beautiful thing. All the plans are put into place and excitement builds as the special day approaches. The time spent building up to the wedding can however be draining but once the day arrives, it is all worth the while. The wedding ceremony and after party brings joy, then off they go to the HONEYMOON phase. This is exactly what Michelle and I experienced twenty years ago.
Then came the real journey. I saw a phrase a couple years ago that sticks with me even to today, “THE WEDDING WAS GREAT, BUT INVITE ME TO THE MARRIAGE…GOD!”
The wedding is a special day but it leads to a lifetime journey for those who stick with it. The key to sticking with it is building it on a SOLID ROCK. Our wedding day felt like the best day of our lives. When I saw her in that wedding dress, I melted! The moment captivated my mind and there was nothing or nobody that mattered on that day. I was in heaven on earth and so was she. I remember going away on our honeymoon with no care in this world, enjoying each other to the fullest, and rightfully so.
Then came the real journey. The reality of a marriage took over after a couple years. We quickly realized that we had to become builders. We needed a solid foundation to have our marriage stand on when the many testy floods came our way. Every marriage faces a flood. Not one is exempt! The difference maker is one built on the SOLID FOUNDATION OF GOD’S WORD.
Genesis 6:9–9:17
Noah was a righteous man and walked with God. Seeing that the earth was corrupt and filled with violence, God instructed Noah to build an ark in which he, his sons, and their wives, together with male and female of all living creatures, would be saved from the waters.
Noah spent years building the ark that eventually saved his life, family, livestock and much more. While he was building it many laughed, including friends, when he told them about the coming flood. Noah and his family brought animals and supplies into the ark. Nobody believed Noah when he told them what God was going to do.
In today’s world, corruption has gone to a new level of evil and marriages are being torn down, flooded out and outright breaking apart because they are not build on that SOLID FOUNDATION. “Therefore, everyone who hears what I say and obeys it will be like a wise person who built a house on rock,” Matthew 7:26. Here are FOUR ingredients to a ROCK SOLID marriage relationship:
A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MARRIAGE CREATOR
Marriage was created by God. Only Godly principles will keep any marriage strong and long lasting. Just like a car needs an engine to run, so does a marriage need guidance from the creator of marriage. The key to getting guidance is to developing a relationship with God. A husband or wife without a relationship with God is like a train with a fully blindfolded operator. The marriage is bound to wreck eventually. I can attest to the importance of that relationship. I have been following the Lord and experiencing a close relationship with Him for many years and if it had not been for His guidance, Michelle and I would not be where we are in marriage today. There is strength in numbers and with God, myself and my wife, there is no flood that can wash us away. With both spouses living a Christ-filled life, experiencing that personal relationship with Christ and getting the guidance needed for their marriage from Christ, the marriage is ROCK SOLID. When the flood comes, the marriage will stand strong. When the arguments brew or the love is not there for a night or a week, the marriage still stands strong. When sickness hits a spouse, the other spouse stands strong to be the backbone and support. When the finances drop both spouses stand up and trust and pray to God together, believing and receiving unexpected miracles. God wants your marriage to grow and experience joy and peace but only when spouses stay close to Him in relationship.
LOVE FLOWING FROM THE MARRIAGE CREATOR
That four letter word is used so loosely at times. I have heard the phrase “I love you” so often by so many men and women today and have seen just the opposite. It has become just another word or phrase. “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions” 1 John 3:18.
That verse was what drove me to write my soon to be released book, LOVE DISECTED. True love only comes from God. God is love. Every spouse who experience God’s love is fully able to show God’s love. On the contrary, any spouse without the love of God will not be able to show the love of God in the marriage. The patience, kindness, gentleness, self control and all the other ingredients of true love are needed to have a marriage build on the SOLID FOUNDATION of God. Allow the love of God to flow through you as a spouse, so you are able to release that true love into the marriage relationship and watch it grow into a powerhouse marriage that no flood, storm or hurricane can take down.
RESPECT AND SUBMISSION AS UNTO THE MARRIAGE CREATOR
Say the word submission and listen to many spouses scream. It is amazing how God’s meaning of submission has been distorted and made to be such an ugly thing. The reality is that submission in the kingdom of God is a beautiful and rewarding thing for every spouse who will do it as unto God. God said LOVE AS CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH AND RESPECT AND SUBMIT AS UNTO GOD. These instructions were given by God to the husband and wife respectfully, to balance the foundation of the marriage and allow for the building of that SOLID FOUNDATION. A wise husband will love his wife God’s way and a wise wife will submit to and respect her husband God’s way. When both do their part, the marriage is SOLID. When one refuses, the marriage goes off balance. When both refuse, the marriage is flooded out! Wisdom is following God’s guidance in your marriage. Respecting your spouse and submitting is really respecting God and submitting to His will for your marriage. Many times one spouse or the other refuses to love or respect out of fear that the other may not do their part, but out of ignorance, not realizing that love and respect is unconditional. The key is doing your part in obedience to God, trusting that he will protect you and your marriage and He will.
INTIMACY AND SEX CREATED BY THE MARRIAGE CREATOR
Sadly, the word sex is equated with the word dirt so much today. Why? Society has somehow seeped poison into what God has created and many husbands and wives are suffering from that poison. God created sex for marriage and marriage alone. Satan has created lust and porn for evil and evil alone. There is a battle of the sexes that has taken over and has creeped into even the church. Sex was created as a sacred act for a husband to please his wife and the wife to please her husband, but sadly many husbands and wives are brainwashed into the idea of pleasing self. Godly intimacy is the catalyst to great sex God’s way. There is a great remedy waiting called “REPENTANCE.” Every married couple will enjoy great sex if and only if they connect with each other from a standpoint of purity. A pure mind leads to pure actions. A pure mind is a mind of God. A dirty mind leads to lust and porn, stealing the joy of pure sex and intimacy with your spouse. The great thing is, it is not too late to change the dirty clothes and put on a clean suit and have a great married life of intimacy and sex the way the creator of marriage made it to be.
A rock is hard to break. Your marriage can be that rock when you mix all the above ingredients making for a sweet and tasty journey of marriage that withstands any flood, tornado, hurricane or mudslide that may come into your path along your journey of marriage. Michelle and I continue to build on that SOLID ROCK of God’s word and directions. We have been in the valley and are coming up on the mountain top in our marriage relationship and so can you and yours too. I pray this article will help you as an encouragement leading into a great marriage journey of peace and joy for you and your spouse.
About The Author
Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies. He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God. Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image. Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.
Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife of twenty years, Michelle, are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a brand new radio talk show reaching as far south as Miami and as far north as Orlando. He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh. Carim is now on his third book, PURITY IN PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE. His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking. Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has lead him. Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family. He has been on various radio and TV stations in different parts of the country speaking and interviewing on the topic of marriage and family. He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart. His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image.
Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families. Visit his website for updates.
Photo source: 123rf
