My last article addressed the greatness of husbands. It is a must that I highlight the wisdom of a good wife also. One of the most common questions husbands are asked is “what do you love most about your wife?” Next to that is “what do you look for in a wife?” I remember having dinner in the dining area of my home church when approached by a fellow brother in Christ. He asked me that very question, “what do you look for in a wife?” I don’t think he was looking for the answer I gave because many guys think about the physical appearance of a woman as the criteria for greatness. I could see his body language when I answered, “make sure she loves God.” He did not seem to get the answer he wanted since it seem to have gone off like a light bulb in his mind. He pondered for a minute then said, “wow, I did not think about it that way.” I think he really meant he did not want that answer. Looks can be deceiving but a heart after God shines bright like morning star!
“He who finds a wife finds a great thing, and obtains favor from God” Proverbs 18:22. It is that suitable helper and supporting cast that makes the home a home. Michelle and I have learned that marriage is much like the construction of a home. The way the wife supports the husband is what carpenters call sister joists. Joists in the structure of a home are designed to carry a certain load and sometimes sister joists are added to help the main joist become more structurally sound. Sometimes these joists are added when a new load will be heavier than the previous design. Finding a good wife is like adding a sister joist.
A man cannot attain anything better than a good wife. “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels” (Proverbs 31:10). Such a good wife is hard to find. A great marriage lifelong journey is made up of great things great husbands do along with good choices that wise wives make, balancing out each other to have the best marriage ever, a marriage made in the image of the creator of marriage, God. Here are four good choices wise wives make that will surely help to maintain that solid foundation every marriage needs and deserves…….
THE SUPPORTING CAST
When a wife and mother realizes the truth about being that support her husband needs and sees how her role impacts the marriage and family grealty, nothing stops her from being that support. She makes up her mind to have his back through ups and downs because they are in the marriage together. The greatest success often comes through great failure and a wise wife understands this fact and joins in both the success and failure with her husband as they become one flesh (book: STAYING MARRIED BECOMING ONE FLESH). God didn’t create Eve to be under Adam’s feet or to be inferior to him. When the design of marriage became a construction zone, God saw it fit to create a sister joist. Eve was created from Adam’s rib and built to support Adam. This was the construction and structure of the first marriage.
HOME SWEET HOME
A husband looks forward to going home when his wife has become his home. Her words, her tone, her smile, and her knowledge of who he is, speaks peace to her husband. “In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything” 1 Timothy 3:11. In other words, this is a woman who is not overly proud, knows when to speak and when to be silent, and is able to take her place beside her husband in confidence. She understands the truth that God created her husband to crave respect from her just as God creates her to crave love from her husband. She makes home a place to want to come home to and not want to leave.
PRIORITY TAKES CENTER STAGE
A wise wife not only understands who takes first place but why that person takes first place in her life. She also understands and willfully follows the order of priority given by God out of love for and obedience to God. Wisdom understands that blessings come through obedience. A great marriage obeys the words of the creator of marriage. A relationship with Christ, putting God at the utmost top of her daily life allows all else to flow from that relationship. A wife who loves God first will respect her husband and put him next in line in order of priority. A foolish wife makes a decision to put friends, cellphones and other things above her relationship with God and her husband and regrets seeing the marriage crumble. A well prioritized mind of a wise wife leads to peace and joy in the marriage relationship.
A great question was once asked by a wife, “why did God make the husband the leader when the husband refuses to lead?” This is a great question from a wife experiencing a lack of leadership from her own husband…..lack of spiritual leadership that is. A wise wife understands her husband’s role and allows her husband to take the lead in that role without tearing him down when he fails at that role. A wise wife prays for her husband to fulfill that role effectively knowing the importance of building him up and not tearing him down. A torn down husband experiences the opposite of the very thing God created him to crave and want, respect. A respected husband is motivated to try harder and be more successful at leading. Wise wives understand this fact and do their best to encourage their husbands in that area. Wise wives make the good choice of allowing God to mold their husbands into the man of God, husband and father God has called them to be while still choosing to respect their husbands out of obedience to God, believing through prayer and trust that God will do the work needed in and through their husbands to become that great spiritual leader they desire to have.
Marriage was made by God to last a lifetime and gives the keys to this lifelong journey. Those keys are what Michelle and I pray for each married couple to obtain as we go through our own marriage journey and being used by God to encourage other couples. We continue to pray for every married couple to experience the love and harmony deserved and desired. God wants your marriage relationships to be filled with goodness and peace. Those keys are Love and Respect. We pray that every wife reading this article will be encouraged as they put these into practice while every husband live with them with understanding as stated in God’s word. Every marriage can be better…..this is our prayer.
About The Author
Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies. He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God. Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image. Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.
Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife of twenty years, Michelle, are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a brand new radio talk show reaching as far south as Miami and as far north as Orlando. He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh. Carim is now on his third book, PURITY IN PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE. His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking. Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has lead him. Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family. He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart. His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image.
Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families. Visit his website for updates. Read all marriage articles on Jamaicans.com Visit our new website: www.MarriageVantagePoint.com Listen to our weekly podcasts: https://anchor.fm/carim-hyatt
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