Culture Memoirs of An Illegal Alien

Wedding Adventure Part 2 : Memoirs Of An Illegal Alien Part 61

It was Uncle Teddy’s wedding day.  We were able to sleep a little later as it was an afternoon wedding. The telephone woke me up at about 10:30 am.

“Hello” I thought it was Uncle Teddy.

“What’s up” the voice was familiar but I was still half asleep.

“Nothing much” I replied as I tried to figure out who it was.

“Can I speak to Sue”, the voice on the other end of the line asked. It was Sidney.

At first I wondered how he got the phone number, but then I remembered she had called him when we first arrived.

Sue “partied” really hard last night.  She is in deep sleep and I doubt she would awake.

I touched her.

“Sue, phone for you” I tried to hand her the phone.

She swatted my hand away almost knocking the phone to the ground. She is the worse person to try and awake in the morning. Growing up she was the last person to awake in the morning for school. My father would threaten leaving her at home.

“It’s Sidney”

She still did not move.

I touched her again.

“Tell him to call me back in one hour” she mumbled putting the pillow over her head.

“Sidney she is not getting up”

“Tell her it is very important I speak to her now”

I hate been a messenger. I still disliked Sidney. There was nothing that could change that. However I did feel sorry for him at times. As a man I hated seeing another man so “whipped” by a woman. He literally did anything she wanted.  If she asked him to jump off a bridge he would ask which one.

“Please ask her to come to the phone.” He pleaded.

“Sue, I think he really needs to talk to you now”

“Okay” she sighed and then grabbed the phone from me.

I left the room.

He was going to get it. She hates losing sleep. I smiled to myself. Even though Sidney was a sad case for a man fawning all over my sister I was also torn. It felt good seeing Sue having control in the relationship. She was so hurt when Ritchie left and I think her love for him during their relationship did not lead to her making good decisions.

I was about to open the refrigerator when I heard Sue’s screaming into the phone.

“What” she shouted.

Then I heard more screaming. I could not hear what she was saying but it sounded more than her been awoken early.

The screaming went on for about 2 minutes then I heard the toilet flushed. She exited the room very angry with the phone in her hand. Before I could ask what was wrong she started talking.

“Can you believe that Sidney is here?”

“What do you mean by here?” I asked.

“Here in New York” she replied

“Fa real” I replied

“Yes, he is stalking me”, she responded exaggerating the situation.

I knew she was very angry as she broke out into patois.  She only speaks patois when she is extremely angry.

“Mi cyan believe dis eediat falla mi ere”

I was surprised by Sidney, but I was also so proud of him. He had finally stood up as a man. She did not want him here. She thought she had convinced him not to come. He begged and pleaded with her to come. She said no and he gave in.  Now he seemed to have grown some “ba**s”.

“I am going to “wring” his neck when he gets here.”

“Get here?” I asked.

“Yes, he called Uncle Teddy and told him he would take us to the wedding”

“I thought Dionne was taking us there”

“She is still coming but Sidney is driving” she replied.

The whole arrangement seemed strange. Why would Uncle Teddy invite Sidney?

Then I figured it out. Uncle Teddy wants a Jamaican presence at his wedding. He would probably invite any Jamaican he meets on the street.

Dionne kept asking Sue about Sidney last night when we were out. During their conversation it came up that Sidney left his wife for her. Sue was bragging about it not expecting Dionne to frown on her. Dionne told her that the same way you enter a relationship is the same way it would end. She told Sue that he would cheat on her like he did with his wife. Sue kept telling her no way as he was in love with her.

She did not need to come to the wedding now that we had a ride. The only reason Dionne was coming to the wedding was to meet Sidney.  In her mind all Jamaican men are dogs.

Sidney wanted to be the man again and was flexing his muscle this is why he travelled to New York.

I was anxious to see the “fireworks”.


Sidney arrived at noon. Sue was still in the room getting dressed.

I wanted to say “well done” to him but then he tried to start a conversation.

“I want to buy a place like this in New York, how much is your uncle selling this one for?” He asked.

“I don’t know” I responded in a dry tone. He spoiled any chance of me giving him credit for coming to New York. He loved to flaunt his money in everyone’s face.

Sue entered the room. She was dressed to “kill”. Her outfit would definitely command attention at the wedding.

“Hi Sweetheart” Sidney walked over to kiss Sue, like a “puppy” seeing their master.

She turned away.

“Let’s go, I don’t want to be late. Plus you have to pick up Dionne” she said as she walked to the door.

He followed behind her.


Dionne was dressed nicely. It was a little conservative, but nice.

She and Sue talked all the way to the church.  It was the perfect situation for Sue. She had Dionne to talk to while giving Sidney the cold shoulder. She also had someone who she could talk with about what others were wearing at the wedding.

The wedding ceremony was at a little Catholic Church not far from Annetta’s home.  We had prime seating being that we were the only family member there for Uncle Teddy. There were not many black faces in the audience.

He wore a full white suit.  The bridal party was mainly made up of Annetta’s family. Uncle Teddy had one of his Jamaican friends as his best man.

Annetta looked beautiful in her wedding dress.

Uncle Teddy looked good for someone who was up all night drinking at his bachelor party. He probably had some Guinness mixed with raw eggs and condense milk right before the wedding.  He looked cool as a “cucumber”.

The ceremony seems quick but I did not mind. When the pastor said “You may kiss the bride” Uncle Teddy paused. He took a breath mint from his best man then dipped Annetta and kissed her. He had everyone laughing. It was his show.

At the end of the ceremony we were asked to come back in the church to take family pictures with the bride and groom. The photographer asked if I wanted to include my girlfriend. He thought Dionne was with me. He also asked Sue about Sidney. She told him not to include him.

The hall where the wedding reception would take place was within walking distance from the church. Again we had prime seating up front.  Sue and Dionne were sandwiched by Sidney and me.  They talked and ignored us. I did not mind but I could see Sidney was feeling like a lost puppy.

I was watching the people on the floor dancing to the disco music the DJ was playing.  This may sound stereotypical but the “Italians” seem to have rhythm.

Dionne wanted to dance.  We danced to one song then she went to the restroom.

I went back to the table. Sue and Sidney were still not talking to each other.

Dionne came back from the restroom dismayed. She started whispering to Sue. She was very upset. They left the room and went outside. It was awkward sitting there in silence. I was not going to talk with Sidney so I got up and went outside.

I went over to Sue and Dionne. They were in an intense discussion. Dionne was telling Sue what made her so upset.

She encountered two drunken women in the restroom. They were talking about Annetta marrying a black man. When Dionne walked in the restroom they assumed she was white and continued talking. She heard them saying that Annetta was obsessed with black men and it was all about sex. They called Uncle Teddy a black “Jamaican Mandingo”. One of the ladies said she slept with a black man just to see if the rumors about size were true. She was not impressed and said it was a myth. They used the n word when talking about black men. Then they turned to Dionne and asked her if she ever slept with a black man. 

Apparently Dionne froze and walked out the restroom.

I was surprised at her reaction being that she stopped dating black men. Maybe she did care but was waiting on the right black man. Or maybe it is the fact that she lied. Or maybe it was the fact that she was black but could pass off as white or Spanish person. Maybe she was upset because she did not respond firmly defending Annetta.

Sue was able to calm her down by explaining how it was probably the liquor in them. She also told her how nice Annetta was and that their marriage was very genuine.

Sidney appeared outside.

“Is everything okay” he asked.

“Yes” Sue replied.

She and Dionne went inside.

“What happen?” Sidney asked me.

“I don’t know” I replied.

Sue and Dionne were on the dance floor. I joined them.  It seemed to cheer up Dionne.

Uncle Teddy was on the dance floor with Annetta. They were having fun. They would be leaving for their honeymoon in the Pocono Mountains.

The music changed to slow music. We were leaving the dance floor.

Sidney came to the floor with one of the flower from the vase at our table. He gave the flower to Sue and whispered something in her ears. Next they were dancing.

Dionne looked over at me “How sweet”.

It is the type of look that a woman has when she is vulnerable to any romantic gesture.  The Commodores were playing.

Just to be close to you girl
Just for a moment, well just for an hour
Just to be close to you girl
Oh well ah baby aw

You know I’ve been thru so many changes in my life girl
Aw I’ve been up real high where I thought I didn’t need anybody
Aw and then again I’ve been down real low where
There was no one in my life who needed me
Aw and I found that material things I thought had so much value
Aw girl didn’t really have any value at all

“Do you want to dance?” I asked Dionne.  I felt something seeing them make up and the other couples on the dance floor. I felt the need to be close to a woman.

“Sure”, she replied.

She grabbed my hand and we were beside Sue and Sidney. We were dancing very closely.  I could feel her heartbeat. I hugged her tightly and closed my eyes. It felt good. I felt wanted.

Sue and Sidney being mad at each other, then making up was a reflection of my trip to New York.  There is the good and the bad but there is always a happy ending.

I loved New York.

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