Whenever I hear the phrase “I Love You” it creates a vivid image of beautiful words flowing from the mouth. It ignites a fire in the mind of the one hearing it, yet can be such a deceiving phrase. Everybody says “I love you” these days, but not everyone really mean it. It is the most used in every marriage relationship. It is so beautiful to hear yet can be so deceiving.
John left home assuring Mary, his wife, that he was going to play ball with guy friends. “I love you honey” was the last thing his wife heard before he closed the door behind him and drove away. John ended up at the gambling hall and lost all the family savings at poker. “I love you” does not lie. Mary was devastated when she found out. “I thought you loved me” she said to John.
The problem in many marriage relationships today is that it so easily rolls off the tongue but so difficult coming from the heart. A heart that is not healed has a hard time showing love. Hurt people hurt people. The truth is, LOVE IS NOT A NORMAL REACTION. Love is not just some word you say to your spouse. Love is more than a voice. Love is intentional, not normal. Love is done and not just said. Love will never happen when tried out from feelings. Feelings are up and down. Love will also be up and down if shown by feelings. The reality is that LOVE IS NOT NORMAL. Love is a sacrificial act that is given to your spouse without any expectation of getting love back. Love is given and not taken. “For God so loved the world that he GAVE his only son” John 3:16. Here are three solid proofs that love is not normal.
Patience Silences The Impatient
Ever noticed you need no effort to be impatient. It just comes naturally. The natural bent is not being able to wait for your spouse to change or not wanting to wait for your marriage to be the way you want it to be. The only thing that will bring you through this difficult season of waiting is LOVE. The reality is that love is patient but patience takes intentionality because love has to be intentional. All else leaves you miserable with yourself and with your spouse. Be intentional to show patience and find peace in the waiting.
Kindness Overcomes Cruelty
Evil is rampant in this world and so it is in many marriages because the heart is not healed in many spouses. An unhealed heart leads to an unhealed marriage which further leads to an unhealed family and society. It is never an easy thing to show kindness to a person who is mean but it is really the only overcoming factor. Being cruel comes from a natural unhealed heart but kindness comes from an intentional heart that says I am going to be kind to my spouse no matter how unkind my spouse is to me because two unkind spouses blows the top in any marriage which further leads to divorce. Be the bigger person and show intentional kindness. Remaining positive in a negative marriage situation is your only source of joy and peace until the situation changes and it will change.
Peace Drowns Out Anger
An angry attitude usually flares up naturally. A husband may step on a wife’s trigger and the wife fires a shot at the husband. Peace is something you must seek or it will not find you. You can find peace in any marital storm by intentionally choosing to find it. No matter how much your spouse may be acting out you control the way you respond. A soft answer TURNS AWAY wrath, but harsh words STIR UP anger, Proverbs 15:1. Choose peace.
Marriage relationships are never automatically great. They become greater the more we choose to be above the normal. The normal will always take you to being angry, impatient and unkind. When both spouses get this reality and strive to put them into practice they experience a marriage made in Heaven on Earth. Michelle and I continue to pray for this very fact to be experienced in our marriage and every other marriage. Huddle up and live.
Get your copy of STAYING MARRIED BECOMING ONE FLESH AT https://www.amazon.com/-/es/Carim-Hyatt/dp/1533086729
Be encouraged as you watch our TBN video interview on marriage.
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