Culture General

Memories of Back A Yard

Todeh noh Saturday? Yes man. Is my favorite day dat enuh and it’s not because school closed or that I man only go church pon Sundays.

Gawnet! Yes Granny.

Go wash yu foot han put on clothes and come follow me go mawket. Me not leaving y’u here cause it look like makca stick bruck ina fe yu haze-hole. Not fe nutten y’u wi listen to me han tan ina de yard. As me back tun, two twos you fine y’u-self ova Miss Vera yard, bout you a play dally house hawnda cella wid de woman gwal pickney dem.

Dat time, poe granny nat even knoe seh a dat me waan hear. Yes man! Fe falla har go mawket. Me hab me plans unnu can tan dey.

Now from Ole Harbor Road to Panish Town Mawket a bout one mile. But come to think of it, you know is since Cozin Thelma came back from Florida, Yes! de couple days she go dey go buy klath and boot come higgler pon govament side-walk me hear she a measure distance ina time. Yes Mawsah. Nevva see cum see she. Whooie, falla fashin might kill me, but anyways, mek me seh bout 15 minutes walk to noh.

So as me was saying, when we reach, granny always leave me with wan old lady that sells ripe banana and den she go supermarket go pick up lickle groceries han tings.

Me seh me a tell y’u, as granny disappear, a me dat….quick quick me fawk out me ten cent whe me scuffle fram mama and buy shilling banana from Mame, cause a so me use to call de banana lady. One ting me nevva like doe, mame yeye always full a matta but fe me stomach did trang , me still nyam me banana dem… for dat noh trouble me, no sah, not me atall.

Man, a use to get all dozen fe me money and in no time me wax dat aff befoe granny cum back. Me noh tink nat even monkey love ripe bananas lakka me. You tink so ? And even so, monkey haffe double cross me fe nyam more dan me at any given time. As soon as granny come back yu waan see I face how it jus lang dung, all de jawbone drop me a tell yu, lakka Farma Brown ole wuckout half starving tyad mule.

Seated in front ah Mame a middle aged female vendor repeatedly hollering lakka dem picharie bud…

Taste han buy guineps! Taste han buy guinep!

It is quite evident ar floral frock have bin tru many years of trial and tribulations.

Nice lady, patanize me noh? Woah ar mash mout a sey wan me a tell y’u.

How much per bundle you selling it mam? (In a tiny speaky spokey voice while kocking off har left hand to display har ten karot big diamoned mahrid ring…who to tell if anoh har gramma dead lef fe gie ar)

Only twenty cents dear.

The seller stretch forth a bundle and from it Me-sis Uptown pick couple seeds. Gimme dah two twin one dey to noh? she begs in a demanding tone. Then she cracks a guinep and puts it in her mouth, sucking in a slow methodical and seemingly sensual way, occasionally slipping her tongue in and out as if to caress har upper lip.(Noh worry get noh idea now, cho)

Gosh! Laaaad, dem yah sowa braba…den she tep aff ago bout ar biznes, while skinning up ar face lakka she smell baby deedy. (But me did done knoe say she only a put on her twang. Y’u waan see how ar heel back dem crackey crackey lakka parch up dry land. Dem dey waan two days soaking and scrubing wid red brick.)

De guinep woman tan up same time like she ago pluck dem outa de lady mout then she seh, so if dem so sowa why the hell you noh spit dem out den! why y’u still a nyam dem, but the vendor’s plea goes ignored .The con-artist quickened her steps through the crowd, crack and slip another guinep into her mouth and gone bout ar blastid ways. (Yu waan see ow she jus a wheel han tun har behine han nat eevin a pay de guinep woman dwag mine.)

{Cont’d next month}

About the author

Kharl Daley