Yuh evva..

Lie down on a beach (in Negril?) an mek dream tek yuh life?

Walk home from school in flood rains?

Fix your roof in the eye of a hurricane.

Guh to Reggae Sunsplash without knowing where yuh going spend di nights?

Guh visit yuh aunt in TackiRack and di kyar cyaan mek it?

Sih you GranAunt mek bammie wid pestle & mortar?

Hear Rollin Kaaf chain a drag pan di grung?

Smell cedar while driving through the countryside?

Give the champion domino team six-love even though you don’t have a clue what yuh doing?

Guh down town pan Chris’mus mahnin?

Raft down the Rio Grande?

Hike to Blue Mountain Peak?

Run an hide from jonkanoo?

Fraid a rastaman an police?

Trap janga under rackstone?

Sih a night with nothing but cricket, peeny waally, bullfrag, cruhkuh, an di light fram a

bill-yan stars?

Drink buccoo soup (I didn’t like it)?

Climb Dunn’s River Falls over an over?

Experience a real Jamaican Float Parade with those scary effigies of Manley, Busta, Garvey etc.

Eat a Bombay, East Indian, or Julie til di seed bone-dry?

Eat red-plum, or coolie plum, or ‘tambrin’, or ‘neezberry’, or guinep, all day?

Pick yuh owna fruits?

Sih toads or crabs littering the country road on a wet night?

Been to Lime Cay in a boat that was lower than the waves (scary!).

Been to Boys’ Champs (won this year by J.C., my Alma Mater)?

Run a boat?

Drink Rum-Punch on a cold night in Mandeville?

Hear di seabreeze rippin’ di seaside?

Walk in red dirt through poinsettia, hibiscus and croton?

Sit mongst di clouds near Newcastle?

Choke pan tinkin toe?

Have di right fruitcake wid di right sorrell?

Bus cane wid yuh teet?

Run down a Jolly Bus an fight di door?

Watch a cricket match in di country?

Run down a hill an swear seh yuh gwine ded before yuh reach di battum?

Stan pon di street in di miggle of a dance, an feel di bass grab yuh heart, an rakkle yuh bone, an loosen yuh teet?

Eat ‘peppa shimps’ at or from Middle Quarters?

Stay home from school or work when rain falls?

Know from yuh reach di gate what fah dinna:- stew peas, roast beef, run down, tripe,

liver, ox-tail, (dough ah doan like all a dem)?

Guh a dance an see a man wid a Red Stripe an a spliff, wid im back ghense di wall fih bout a uhwah, an when di music bus eena im ed, im skank one step fahwad an chee step backwad an sekkle back ghense di wall til di music bus eena im ed again?

Bawl out "puss" inside a di tayta?

Fix up basket for Harvest?

Fine a conch shell by the shore?

Live the whole week for Sunday Dinner?

Drive to Port Royal to eat Fish an Bammie?

Sumell di aroma of thyme, and skellyan in di maakit while yuh a carry di baskit fi yuh madda?

Been to Reach Falls?

Guh country an run down to di river ongle fi buck up pan pare smaddy eena dem birtday suit? An you slide down on your back an let di river wash you downstream?

Eat the fruit of the cashew?

Buss a Cocoa pod and stuff the contents in your mouth?

Get more brahta dan di ting whey yuh pay fah?

Sit mongst old people (Exhale’s contribution, "Anybody ever see mi dying trial" dug up a lot of memories especially of my late Grandfather and my childhood days.) who only say, "pickney, yuh set pan spring" an "chicken merry, hawk deh near" an "saviour divine", an "from I was born", an "anybody ever sih mi dyin’ trial", an "but sih here" an "di pickni facety eeh" an "mine yuh mout" an "nuh everyting fit fi nyam fit fih talk" an "play wid puppy, puppy lick yuh mout" an "don’t look at me in that tone of voice";

an talk bout "di pain in mi back" like is a job qualification.

I miss that life and I live in Jamaica…wid…Taco Bell, KFC, McDonald’s, Burger King,

Popeye’s, Nintendo, Genesis, Pringle’s, Mott’s, Corona, Budweiser, Haagen-Dazs,

Carnival, NBA, NFL, HBO, Pay-Per-View, Days of Our Lives, The Young and the

Restless and invitations to DisneyWorld!

Before I go though take a test: What is the name of that bitter aloe that they put on your finger to stop you from sucking it?

By di way yuh know calabash?