Advice & Help

Three Flesh-Tearing Darts To Avoid In Marriage

Three Flesh-Tearing Darts To Avoid In Marriage

“Two is better than too many” is a popular phrase in my country of birth, Jamaica.  Although this phrase evolved as a necessary encouragement to parents having too many children, it is a great word of encouragement for married couples also.  Why?  A marriage can only have room for two,  a male and female becoming one-flesh with the help of God, the creator of marriage.

What is marriage?  This is a question not quite often asked verbally but seen as a question just by how many couples today live out marriage. Marriage is man and woman joining in holy matrimony to live a life together as worship to God, while becoming one-flesh.

 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’[a] ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,[b] and the two will become one flesh.’[c] So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate,” Mark 10: 6-19.

 It is interesting how God created the first couple, Adam and Eve.    Eve was taken from Adam’s rib.  Eve was a part of Adam even from the beginning of creation.

When a man joins in marriage with his wife, they are actually committing to God to become one-flesh.  It is like picturing Eve, Adam’s rib, being put back in Adam’s body.  Nothing must interrupt that one-flesh movement.  Here are three situations that, if not avoided, will tear away at your marriage, preventing you and your spouse from becoming one-flesh.


Before Eve came into existence, Adam was alone and God said “it is not good for man to be alone.”  There was a reason God gave Adam a helper, partner, wife named Eve.  God, in His divine wisdom, created two people, man and woman to become one.  Maybe, He knew that a third person would mess up the mix and become an obstacle in the way.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a husband having male friends or a wife having female friends.  There is however,  something definitely dangerous with these friends crowding out the time spent with your spouse.  Be aware of how you spend your time and how it might affect your spouse. Plan accordingly and set aside your most valuable time for the person you love, rather than your friends!


One of the sharpest arrows piercing the very core of marriages is money problems.  Whether a dispute over money spent, or a fight about where the money went, or even a distrust because one spouse is hiding money that the other spouse found out about.  A married couple operating like a single individual is bound for trouble with money.

Michelle and I decided from the beginning of our marriage that we would have one operating joint account.  This is not to say a spouse cannot have a credit card to use wisely and with respect for the other spouse in spending.  But a joint account is an open conduit for both spouses to do an on-going budget together and know where the money is being spent, how much money is in the account, and prevents any monetary disputes that can cause an unnecessary eruption in the marriage relationship.  Having a joint account not only allows oneness but also creates an atmosphere of spending time together while budgeting together…..A PART OF THE ONE FLESH MOVEMENT.


Being a facilitator for a group at Faithfarm Ministries here in South Florida, I have learned much about the mind and its power.  “The Battlefield Of The Mind” is a powerful book we use to lead these men from Faithfarm.  The author, Joyce Myers really dissect the way the mind determines our behaviors, thoughts, and actions.

A single person will always refer to himself as “I” or “Me” because this is what the mind is trained to think, say and act out, and rightfully so.  When that person joins in marriage with his wife, that “I” or “Me” has to change to “US” or “WE.”  The mind has to be quickly trained to avoid phrases like, “my car” or “my money”, or even “my child.”  Although these may be said with innocent thought, it can spell single-mindedness to your spouse.  A mind trained to often think “togetherness will lead to a mouth that often speaks togetherness.”

My encouragement for all married couples, singles, or even individuals who have been divorced and seeking to remarry, is to strive for oneness in as many areas in the marriage relationship as is possible.  Your spouse will see your effort and it will bring a great sense of security while preventing an atmosphere of constant conflict and insecurity.  A great marriage is a marriage that strives on joy and peace that comes from God, the creator of marriage.  He has the answers to all marital questions.  He is the greatest marriage counselor and has the answer in His word, the Bible.

About The Author
Carim Hyatt

Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies.  He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God.  Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image.  Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.

Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife of twenty years, Michelle,  are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a brand new radio talk show reaching as far south as Miami and as far north as Orlando.   He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh.  Carim is now on his third book, PURITY IN PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE.  His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking.  Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has lead him.  Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family.  He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart.  His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image.

Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families. Visit his website for updates. Read all marriage articles on

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Photo source: Deposit Photos

About the author

Carim Hyatt