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Five Effective Ways To Bulletproof Your Marriage

Five Effective Ways To Bulletproof Your Marriage

The word bulletproof was first used in the early 1800s and originates from the Middle French ‘boulette’ meaning ‘small ball’ and the Latin ‘probare’, meaning to test or to prove. Bulletproof can mean both a material which literally stops bullets or it can refer more broadly to something thought to be indestructible (google definition).

This definition gives me a vivid imagery of a married couple standing in the path of bullets that keep hitting them while they embrace each other but the bullets only ricocheting into mid air, leaving the shooter frustrated beyond measure.

There is a wicked sharp shooter after every marriage and he is very good at what he does. He takes precise aim at marriages because he wants to hit right in the center of the union. When the center is demolished the marriage tears apart. There are times he misses the center however but manages to take out one spouse with a single shot that weakens the union.

When Michelle and I first got married this sharp shooter, satan, took many shots at our marriage and happened to weaken our union at times but was never able to get a single bullet in the center to tear us apart. The devil wishes that every single marriage end in divorce and he will do everything in his evil power to accomplish this. “’For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,’ says the Lord of hosts.”—Malachi 2:16. Satan wants to divide what God has unified. The crazy thing is, he knows the exact area of weakness of each husband or wife and takes a shot at that very area. In our early married years, Michelle and I had could not find the proper bulletproof vests that fit and we ended up taking many bullets. It was not until we made a conscious effort to seek the one who created marriage for the proper fitted vests that would ricochet the bullets of the enemy “back to sender.” Yes, there are many ways to bulletproof any marriage and cause the enemy’s attacks on our marriages to backfire. Here are seven key ways to bulletproof your marriage and enjoy a peaceful, joyful, rock-solid marriage, free from the threat of divorce:

God has given us the two greatest commandments. The greatest of the two is to LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, MIND AND SOUL. Many spouses, including myself, easily forget at times that God comes before our spouse. In the book of Exodus, God reminds that he is a jealous God. Quite often, for good reason, we put our spouses before God, not realizing that without God as the number one, our marriage is left without the bulletproof it needs to ricochet the bullets from satan’s gun. When God is our main focus, even in our marriages, we are prepared and well dressed for any attack from the enemy. Loving God is loving your spouse. Putting God first is gaining the protection and security your marriage needs to withstand the attacks from the enemy. Having a personal relationship with God is the most protective bulletproof vest any spouse can wear.

A true friend is a vital part of your well-being but can also be the catalyst to a major breakup in any marriage if not careful. God gave an order of life for every marriage and when followed gives for a great journey in marriage. God said Him first, your spouse next, then ministry and all else follows. Marriage is a two-person arrangement, leaving out all other parties. This is why wedding vows often include the phrase, “forsaking all others.” Third parties can become major obstacles in any marriage relationship. A spouse is removing a part of his heart from his mate and bringing it to a friend on the outside. This can easily loosen the tightness of the bulletproof working against what God intended to develop in marriage, giving access to the enemy in the form of gossip, many times even leading to a spouse taking bad advice from the outside friend. The greatest thing any spouse can develop accepting his spouse as his best friend. All personal issues will never leave the marriage and satan has no access to tearing down the marriage.

In our early years of marriage, Michelle and I had to come to the quick realization that we are a team and not rivals, that we decided to take a desperate measure to save our marriage. Naiveness got the better of us for a while causing us to operate like rivals instead of a team. Fasting television for one full year was not an easy road but it was a very beneficial sacrifice that significantly placed a major bulletproof over our marriage. Yes, we would have many ugly fights but instead of fighting together in prayer, we would ignorantly fight against each other. “A family that prays together stays together” should be a major part of every marriage vow. There is power in praying together as a married couple, fighting the enemy of your marriage, keeping him out of your home. Once Michelle and I made the conscious decision to pray together consistently, something began to change. The atmosphere in our home changed. There was a sense of peace that allowed for more intimate times together. When two, husband and wife, live as a team rather than rivals, the marriage not just grows, it wins.

There is a phrase that I kept hearing and continue to hear that sounds super sweet. It includes three of the most used words in the alphabet, yet it appears to be used so loosely at times, with good intention of course. That phrase, “I LOVE YOU” appears to make any spouse surrender to the other spouse’s need when they hear it. It has become the catalyst for the marriage relationship to remain intact, yet so many who say it find their marriages falling apart. The harsh reality is that a mouth can say what the heart does not when the speaker is not intentional in walking the talk. Love is action. Love is sacrificial. Love gives while lust gets. Love pleases the other spouse and not self. Saying I love you without showing I love you is a recipe for future disappointment in any marriage. The truth is, LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL. Real love when shown has no condition. Marriage is created by the one who showed the ultimate act of love. “FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE…..HIS ONLY SON.” When both husband and wife love unconditionally, the marriage relationship blooms into a beautiful garden filled with real love. Acts of love without wanting anything in return, especially when shown by both husband and wife, is like Heaven on earth in any marriage.

My good friend who has been married for many years once said, “a marriage relationship without healthy boundaries is like a car with a flat tire…it goes nowhere.” Creating healthy boundaries in a marriage allow both husband and wife to feel at ease in the relationship. Be clear with your spouse who you are, what you want, your beliefs and values, and your limits. Just having the freedom to communicate these things to your spouse freely will give for a marriage relationship that develops into a closeness between you and your spouse like no other. It creates a uniqueness in your marriage because you come to know each other’s desires that nobody else will ever know. Many marriages today are vulnerable to failure because there are no boundaries set or the boundaries are crossed. Many spouses tend to know the desires or values of the other spouse, yet fail to respect those desires or values. This is called “crossing the boundary line” in marriage. A marriage with a solid bulletproof is a marriage with solid boundaries not crossed. The relationship must not be rigid but it must be respected by both husband and wife. The key is learning each other’s do’s and don’ts and treating them with utmost care to have a bulletproof marriage that is not torn apart very easily.

About The Author
Carim Hyatt was born and raised partially in Jamaica, West Indies.  He is one of seven children from the Hyatt family and has grown into a great man of God.  Carim had the luxury of seeing his grandparents model a Christian family life while portraying a marriage in God’s image.  Carim had his mother in his life also and learned a great deal about values and wisdom.

Carim’s passion is marriage and family. He and his wife of twenty years, Michelle,  are hosts of MARRIAGE IN A MINUTE, a brand new radio talk show reaching as far south as Miami and as far north as Orlando.   He has authored two books, The importance of Salvation and Staying Married Becoming One Flesh.  Carim is now on his third book, PURITY IN PREPARATION FOR MARRIAGE.  His journey has taken him from Insurance adjuster to minister through writing and public speaking.  Carim leads men’s ministries, married couples lifegroups, praise and worship along with many other areas of ministry as God has lead him.  Carim and his beautiful wife Michelle have appeared on Television programs , namely TBN, speaking about marriage and family.  He has been on various radio and TV stations in different parts of the country speaking and interviewing on the topic of marriage and family.  He is a great motivator, mentor and loves the Lord with all his heart.  His passion is to see every marriage go the long haul while being molded into God’s image.

Join Carim on this great journey as He reaches the unsaved for Christ while continuing to encourage marriages and families. Visit his website for updates.

 Photo source: 123rf

About the author

Carim Hyatt