Yaad Fowl Part2- Yaad Fowl Come To Farrin

Yaad Fowl gets a invitation to America to hang with farrin Fowl. Farrin Fowl was waiting at the airport for the arrival of Yaad Fowl. Twenty minutes had past since the time the plane was to arrive. Farrin Fowl watched the clock as another 1o minutes went by. Now she was getting impatient.

Farrin Fowl: Where in the world is this Jamaican chicken? This is ridiculous! Half an hour and she is still not here. *sigh*
Yaad Fowl: (waving at farrin fowl) Oyeeee deh Farrina!!! .. whappen? Si mi yah ..come gi mi hug noh man
Farrin Fowl: Do you know what time it is? I thought you were suppose to be here half an hour ago?!!
Yaad Fowl: Tek yuh time an mine yuh blood pressa .. Unu farrin Fowl noh know Air Jamaica time?? If mi sey fi pick mi up 11’aclack dat mean mi naah reach til 12:30. Is wha do yuh so??
Farrin Fowl: You never told me that. Anyway let’s go.. the taxi is waiting for us to take us to the farm
Yaad Fowl: Taxi? What a Fowl like yuh love pap style pan people… Mi noh have noh dallas fi pay noh blastid taxi fare yuhnoh mi noh know a who tell yuh fi call Taxi
Farrin Fowl: It’s Ok . I have extra cash. Let’s go.. where are your belongings?
Yaad Fowl: Si dem yah.. is jus 2 scandal bag a tings mi carry.. Mi noh need nutten more dan dis fi di couple days mi spending here..
They left the airport terminal and went outside to catch the Taxi
Yaad Fowl: RASTACLAAT! A how out yah so cole man ??! No sah mi a goh back ina di building!! (running back into the airport building)
Farrin Fowl: Well it’s not my fault that you don’t have enough feathers to keep you warm. Come on! The Taxi has heat..
Yaad Fowl: Jehovah gad ..if yuh mek mi ketch cole upyah mi an yuh… Mercy a mussi 2 degrees minus naught outta door! Look yah noh farrina .. if mi mikase mi can ketch Air Jamaica an go back a mi yaad enoh .. it too cole man!
Farrin Fowl: It’s OK I said!! When we get to the farm you will be in a warm place
Yaad Fowl: Airight… Hole an deh mek mi empty out one a di scandal bag and tie up di odda one pan mi head fi kip it warm.
Farrin Fowl: :rolleyes:
Farrin Fowl: Airight mi ready now

They went into the waiting Taxi..

Yaad Fowl: Oyee deh Driva tun on di heata up high fi mi.. tun it up til it BUCK!
Farrin Fowl: Calm down yaadi, he doesn’t have to turn up the heat that high.. Plus the heat will ruffle your feathers and it is bad for your skin
Yaad Fowl: Misis a Jamaica mi come fram yuhnoh .. Nat a heat neva do mi nutten fram mi madda lay mi outta har belly .. DRIVA MI SEH TUN UP DI HEAT!
Farrin Fowl: Ok suit yourself .. We will be at the farm in any time anyway
Yaad Fowl: So is this a big farm? Mi gwine meet Mista Purgy or whateva di man name
Farrin Fowl: It’s Mister Purdue. Yes the farm is big. You will meet some of my friends who live there too..
Yaad Fowl: So weh mi gwine do fi fun cause mi nat going outta ina dis cole wedda a falleetee.. Mi ago jus lack up ina farmhouse soh??
Farrin Fowl: We will have plenty things to do like running around and chasing other chickens for fun.
Yaad Fowl: Tell mi unu have some man Fowl cause mi noh chase ooman ..- nat fi fun, cock fight, naar love..awoh!
Farrin Fowl: OK here we are .. thanks driver . Here is the fare
Yaad Fowl: Tanks Breda B.. Yuh Taxi car criss dowe, but it coulda do wid lickle air freshna dowe..In yah tink a smoke..
Farrin Fowl: Oh Good God! Hush your mouth and come on! You talk so much for a chicken!
Yaad Fowl: But si yah! Is coulden mi yuh a chat to so.. an mi name call mi noh chicken …chicken live ina Fowl coob! So doan renk! Yuh dam beak lang an feva bamboo tick!

They exited the Taxi with Yaad Fowl sprinting to get inside the farm doors to avoid the cold.

Yaad Fowl: Wooyyeeee..Shew!! Bway mi tink is a sin fi live someweh so cole .. Mi noh dead yet an mi deh ina ice to baxide..
Farrin Fowl: Come let me introduce you to the folks around here. ..First we are going to stop by the stall of one of my good friends.
Yaad Fowl: Wait a who dah man deh a walk wid di lang neegele? A mista Purgy dat?
Farrin Fowl: I said it is MISTER PURDUE!! And no that is not him. He works here.
Yaad Fowl: So weh im a do wid di neegle?? Im a wan nurse are Dacta?
Farrin Fowl: He is the one that gives us a special injection so that we mature very early. Nothing much. Just some fertilizing medication
Yaad Fowl: A GWINE TELL!! ..ooohhh so is bogus busines unu have upyah a farrin?? If unu govament eva hear bout dis im feed di whole a unu di di daags!
Farrin Fowl: (laughing)hahaha.. The government is the one that suggested we get injections. It gives us more meat on the body for those who like meaty chickens.
Yaad Fowl: An unu cawl fi wi govament teif!!! Unu govament eva hear bout cackroach?! Mi tell unu sey dat a di bes ting fi fatten unu up an yuh naah hear mi.
Farrin Fowl: OH please! Not that roach nonsense again!! Besides Roaches are not on this side of town. You have to go to NY for that.
Yaad Fowl: How far NY deh fram yahsoh cause mi naah mek noh baddy juck noh neegle ina mi behine yuhnoh .. yuh mussi mad!! Mi an neegle a noh fren – awoh!
Farrin Fowl: There are other things you can eat Yaadi. Relax. NY is miles from here and it is much colder than here in Indianapolis.
Yaad Fowl: Well if it colda dan yahsoh den noh baada.. gi mi weh unu have fi nyam.
Farrin Fowl: Let’s go over and meet my friend first before we eat.

They went over to one of the stalls to meet one her friends

Farrin Fowl: Hey Elsie this is my friend from Jamaica.. meet Yaad Fowl
Yaad Fowl: Easy noh .. respec everytime HERKERHERKEERRRR!!
Elsie: Is that suppose to be a crow? You are so loud!
Yaad Fowl: (turning to the Farrin Fowl) Farrina talk to har fi mi noh cause shi doan know sey mi wi tek up mi wing dem a bax har dung inyah tideh, Mi noh easy yuh si mi yah enoh .. mi noh ramp!
Farrin Fowl: No fighting in here yaadi..She is not use to that loud crowing that’s all
Yaad Fowl: Shi fi have respek…Shi have up attitude like mi do har somein.. Shi mussi tink har shyt can mek chicken patty!
Farrin Fowl: Ok come let me introduce you to another friend and please don’t loose your feathers and get into a hiss fit. Just calm down. You are a guest here.
Yaad Fowl: You have any black Fowl in here..cause it look like di white wan dem fiesty!!
Farrin Fowl: All the chickens in here are white yaadi.. but all of us have dark meat.. so wi half black.
Yaad Fowl: Is wha kina racist place dis??? No black Fowl ina di big big farm house!! Kiss mi Fowl batty! Dis tek di cake.. Jus introduce mi to smaddy who noh have dem beak up ina di air cause mi wi bax dung smaddy inyah tidey.
Farrin Fowl: Ok let me introduce you to one of the ones that act black in here .. You will like her

Farrin Fowl: Hey Bonquifa, this is my friend from Jamaica yaadi
Bonquifa: Heeyyy ..what’s up?! You from Jamaica for real..
Yaad Fowl: yeah man .. straight fram yaad.
Bonquifa: Dats cool.. can I ask you somein dough? You gat any of that good weed you can hook a sista up yow?
Farrin Fowl: Oh Lord we go. Bonquifa why you had to go there with the weed thing? That is why you are going to end up at Popeye’s as a three-piece. You smoke too much!
Yaad Fowl: No farrina lef har alone man.. shi irie man. Shi know di real deal. Sistren hear wha happen now.. mi did have a bungle a weed wrap up ina wan paypa bag but di Air Jamaica bway canviscate it at di airport.. so mi fresh out an ting
Yaad Fowl: Oyee tap di loud talking oomman!! Yuh galang like a noh regula ting fi weed come a ‘Merica. It bun mi fi yuh some time yuh si … Dem jus fi cawl yuh Msgoodie goodie Fowl :rolleyes:
Farrin Fowl: You are crazy! Come on let’s go find something for you to eat
Yaad Fowl: Lata Bonquifa.. mi gaan yuh hear. Pleasa to meet yuh
Bonquifa: Ain’t nutten but a chicken wing…Peace Out dog!
Yaad Fowl: Peace out dog? Yuh mean peace out Fowl?? Mi look like daag to yuh?
Farrin Fowl: Oh My God . Not again!!….. let’s go yaadi!


Yaad Fowl: So what wi having fi dinna farrina?
Farrin Fowl: Chicken feed made up of parts of the cow and pig
Yaad Fowl: Sey wah?? Naah sah .. mi noh nyam powk! An mi fraida mad cow decease
Farrin Fowl: Why must you be so difficult Yaadi?. It is just crushed parts and it is really tasty. Try it!
Yaad Fowl: Airight but doan complain when mi have gas an running belly .. (eating the feed) dem tings doan gree wid mi.. mi a warn yuh
Farrin Fowl: If you want to use the bathroom I can get you a box..I am sure they have extra ones around here

Yaad Fowl: Unu do-do ina bax? Unu stoosh eeh man.. den unu wipe unu battam when unu dun to? **cuteye**

Farrin Fowl: They will clean us up if we get too messy. If you want to go outside and do it – fine .. but remember it is cold out there
Yaad Fowl: Mi wasn’t talking bout outside.. Mi was tinking fi leggo it here so
Farrin Fowl: You must be out of your feathers! No way! This is not Jamaica
Yaad Fowl: Well to late .. it get weh fram mi ..sarry!
Farrin Fowl: What is wrong with you yaadi?!! Didn’t I tell you that I could get you a box?
Yaad Fowl: Yes but yuh was running up yuh mout an mi belly was running in di meantime .. Yuh noh know sey Fowl caan hole up do-do.. if it coming, it coming ..
Farrin Fowl: **sigh** Now they are going to get mad at me for letting you mess the floor up.
Yaad Fowl: Yuh can fret up yuhself eeh? All dem have to do is tek peica claat an wipe it up.. is nat like is a whole heap a do-do … is a lickle spec!
Farrin Fowl: Just Don’t eat anymore of the feed because God knows I don’t need anymore of you pooping all over the place
Yaad Fowl: Mi did tell yuh sey dem farrin sinting yah noh gree wid mi belly an yuh naah lissen.. So weh mi ago nyam now. Mi belly still hungry yuhnoh
Farrin Fowl: Can you just drink water? It is clear you cannot handle the American chicken diet
Yaad Fowl: So yuh mean to tell mi sey yuh mek mi lef sweet sweet Jamaica fi come up yah come drink wata fi food?? Yuh know what?… mi going back ami yaad as day light! Mi cannot atalorate dis kina treatment.. mi did treat yuh betta when yuh did come dung a yaad laas mont.
Farrin Fowl: What you want me to do? I don’t know what to give you to eat. And stop pooping I said!!
Yaad Fowl: Mi belly a hat mi mi sey!… lef mi noh!! If yuh neva gi mi di powk none a dis woulda happen!!

Farrin Fowl: OK..Why don’t we just go to bed . We had a long day. It is beginning to stink in here anyway
Yaad Fowl: Yes mek wi do dat cause mi yeye lid out fi shet dung. Weh mi roost deh?
Farrin Fowl: Roost? Now what is that?
Yaad Fowl: Neva mine … mi get sey a farrin dis .. Roost a sinting ina tree weh wi sleep ina.. Which part mi a sleep?
Farrin Fowl: You will be sleeping on a haystack among the livestock
Yaad Fowl: Mi noh know what yuh talking bout but it soun luxurious .. lead di way
Farrin Fowl: I am really glad you came yaadi. You just need a little time to adjust to the farrin life ..that’s all
Yaad Fowl: **Kiss teet** Mi sey mi going back a mi yaad tomorraw.. Couple cakcroach woulda do mi well yah now an mi deh yah a starve. **kiss teet**
Farrin Fowl: Jeez! You don’t have to sound so mean!! I am sorry we don’t have roaches here..
Yaad Fowl: Di troot is di troot Farrina ..yahso caan hole mi.. mi need fi walk bout free like a bird …mi noh waan coupe up ina farm house all day.. Might as well dem cut aff mi head an tun mi ina chicken noogle soup if a soh.
Farrin Fowl: Ok have it your way. What time you want me to take you to the airport?
Yaad Fowl: As day light mi outta here soon a’clack!
Farrin Fowl: I thought you said Air Jamaica is always late.
Yaad Fowl: Nat when dem lefing farin ..AirJamaica lef farrin pan time dem jus doan come here pan time.. mi noh blame dem.. mi woulda ina hase fi lef yah to!
Farrin Fowl: Well Good night yaadi
Yaad Fowl: eeeh eeh ..good night
Farrin Fowl: So you coming back to visit me some other time?
Yaad Fowl: HELL NO!! **cluck dis place!!**

About the author

Joelle "Wendy" Wright

Joelle "Wendy" Cohen Wright is an author of character-driven Jamaican sketch comedy. She developed her love for sketch comedy after enrolling in a speech drama club in a Kingston primary school, where she won countless awards for her theatre performances.

Joelle is fast becoming one of the Caribbean's well-loved comedy writers. With her irrepressible sense of humor and a flair for dramatics, Joelle's writing style has the right comedic timing that is sure to induce laughter through her storytelling abilities in Jamaican patois. Ever the natural comedienne, she adds a fiery jolt of pure comic bliss to her series of characters and hilarious interpretations of Jamaican every day life.

Her first collection of sketches, "A Soh Wi Do It!" was published in 2010 and made rave reviews from readers across the world. The author dedicated the following years to penning the hilarious come backs entitled, "A Soh It Goh!" and "A Soh Dem Gwaan." Joelle holds a post graduate degree from the University of Maryland, University College, MD.